I cried "corn beef" in a demonic voice in front of people I'd just met. If that tells you anything about me...
Other than that, the name is Nabilah Johari who goes by her days embarrassing friends with her shameless antics.
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PROFILE ►
I cried "corn beef" in a demonic voice in front of people I'd just met. If that tells you anything about me...
Other than that, the name is Nabilah Johari who goes by her days embarrassing friends with her shameless antics.
Oh dear God. Why?! WHY???!!! How could I not notice the first place?!
Now I feel so violated, dirty, used and molested.
That guy... How dare he. He used my innocence and "trust" on other people against me. Wait, that came out wrong. Let's not think about my bad vocab. Point is I was sexually harrassed.
Yes, I was sexually harrassed, as in a perverted guy just took advantage of his customer then feeling up her chest! Oh geez!! What the hell??!!
Oh god. Today is just a bad day. A bad bad day.
Firstly I was sent to the SA. Just because I skipped a class just once. Just that once wasn't really reason enough for the damned teacher to send me to the SA. Damn him.
Twas then during break my mood was down in the drains, and I threw my things to the floor quite loudly which attracted a lot of queer eyes. Meh. Didn't care that time. Dragged myself to Fai, Sa'aadah, Diyana and the others then curled myself to a ball then hit my head against Fai's knee.
I've just gotten the Message Slip from Miss Ernie that morning but on the slip it read that I was supposed to be meeting some random teacher two days ago. Siigh.
I was curious as the others who saw the slip in my hand. We didn't know what the slip was for. We didn't know what wrongs have I done to deserve that.
Then after that, I didn't have the mood to go for Maths class but I had to since... I had to. But though I did attend the class my mind was away somewhere around JaeJoong and Yunho. XDDDDDD
Then the afternoon went home around 1 as I've said earlier on. Bleh.
So, *nears Joanna* you're legal now eh? *gets slapped by Joanna*
HAHAHAHAHA!! I didn't mean it like that!! I meant you're legal to drriiivveee now! Ooo~ Sugoi!
But I feel rather guilty not buying you a gift though. I'm kinda used to buying gifts for a friend's birthday and you know what they say : Old habits die hard.
the fall must've damaged my brain so much to think that I grew sick of JAEHO. NEVEERRR!!! [That will never happen!!]
Hm. Around 6.30 this evening I slipped and fell on the tiles of my room. Gah. I still can feel the pain although I don't feel any bumps on anywhere. Since that fall I passed out on the floor and no one knew 'cause I was in my room. Answered Zati's IM around 7.12 pm.
So that makes it that I lost conscious for... 15 minutes. How nice.
I wonder if there might be some sort of aftereffect of it. Like, sudden blackouts, lost of balance, etc. I want to black out. At school. That way I'll be able to skip classes. Yep. Hah. Dream on.
So now I feel as though all the times I fangirled and incessantly research about my idols were spent wasted. And that thought made myself angry. I mean, HOW COULD I THINK THE TIMES I SPENT RESEARCHING ON DBSK, KAT-TUN, NEWS AND YA-YA-YAH WERE WASTED AND IS SOMETHING USELESS!! EEEEEE!!! *fiercely pulls my hair*
I know the posts in this blog are rather useless but hey, at least it's much safer than keeping a diary "safely" kept away from the prying and kepo hands of my mother.
But really, I'm sorry for not posting any entries that are worth reading! >.<
By every passing minute my heart gradually races, thinking of the mini typhoon that'll strike the nation by large-scale. HAHAHA. Okay, I'm sorry. I lied. Not by large scale. That'd be scary.
So Joanna just told me of the mini typhoon. And really, I'm nervous. A whole lot. I just hope the others knew of this and are well-prepared about it. I tried telling Zati but she kept on ignoring my IMs. Actually all the people I chatted with are ignoring my IMs. Haiyaa.
Let's just hope that no one will get severe badly within the period of the destructive eye. And let's hope no homes will be demolished to rubbles.
Be prepared everyone in Brunei. Keep your doors locked tightly. Screw the hinges, if you might.
I'm deathly scared now, hearing the start of the pitter patter raindrops.
*
But though I am pretty sure that I don't have Alzheimer's (since I'm not that old) I kept on forgetting today was a Saturday, and thought that today was Monday. So I kept on going to wrong classes. =.=
For example, Block 5 I went to my EAS class. Well almost. I was at the stairs when I come to realise that it was Saturday. Curse my forgetfulness. Then after break it was suppose to be Block 3 but I stayed in front of the library, thinking it was my PS. *facepalm* I can be so stupid.
I really don't know what's with me today. Usually when I forget a block, I'd instantly remember about it and go to the right class of the respected block. But now, I'm not sure.
*
Since this morning till now I had been so unbearably thristy. Every minute I'd be thirsty. What's wrong with my body today? A forgetful mind, a thirsty throat, imbalancedness. Yes there were times I lost my balance about five times.
There is something wrong with me. I need a check-up. But I don't want to tell my mom.
*
Zimah had been disappearing from time to time. I wonder what she's doing during that time. There has to be some problems. Well if she doesn't want to share and wants to keep it to herself, I won't interfere. It's her decision, not mine.
*
Joanna's birthday's coming up in 5 days~ YAAYY!! Actually I don't have any idea what to get her. Ah darn.
*
I knew that there were some good-hearted people living inside this wretched world! The "plan" finally went as planned. Thank you, Juzai. I finally got to watch em. But what bothers me till now is I think the misunderstanding. Oh god geez. I just hope he didn't think otherwise. >.<
But overall 'twas good. He was good. Except for the fact that everyone could've been roasted inside the gym. Plus the girl in charge was being a bitch harshly telling people off to shut the damn door. Yep, she's destined to be a bitch.
So... um. Yeah. Another fic. It's amazing how long I can write when I'm in a sad state than I were in any other. Of course, JaeHo.
I'm not sure how to summarise this. Okay lemme try the summary.
Summary : They said it was just a temporary fix. A way to pass the time until they got girls of their own. It was just something to fill the empty space in their beds. Jaejoong was lying. Yunho wasn't. Ngah. Listening to DBSK's Begin isn't making my mood any better. Why do I have to be so... emo?
Small drops of brine fall
unto this purple fabric;
Against the pillar
at the back
I show you this
Only you and I know
The only ones
This secret is meant between me and you
A secret shared to bond ourselves
You know that.
I told you.
Everywhere I go
I'd always end up at that place
where no one wanted me
where they put up fake smiles
where I feel most hated
As if I had nowhere else to go
As if I'm in a maze;
caught in a dead-end, that place.
But that place is the only place
where I won't feel lonely
despite the isolation.
That place holds me back from dying inside.
But it hurts not to hate it.
I want to despise it, and myself.
Because I had nowhere else to go.
And they're just my only choice.
Bad one. Bad, bad, bad. This is one thing I really didn't like about writing poems. The idea just pops back in my head and came out to be soo bad and still in draft form. A spur of the moment kinda thing.
Well at least I got some out of me. I felt like my head was gonna burst, thinking about it.
Oh right, on to the fic. And again. This one is a spur of the moment kinda thing like the poem. So there might be some errors. Bleh.
I. They said it was just a temporary fix. A way to pass the time until they got girls of their own. It was just something to fill the empty space in their beds.
Jaejoong knew from the beginning that he was lying right through his teeth. He had gotten so good at lying; sometimes it almost felt like the truth. He had always just assumed Yunho was equally deceptive. Lying about wanting nothing but a warm body to tide him over, not specifically Jaejoong’s warm body.
II. They carried on this way for years. The secret smiles and careless touches, brushing against each other, furtive fucks in closets and bathrooms and hidden corners. Jaejoong doesn’t remember when it stopped being just a fuck. Maybe it never was to him. Jaejoong doesn’t remember when he started to kiss Yunho. He doesn’t even remember if Yunho wanted to kiss him back or not.
The arrangement never was ideal. But then what of a clandestine homosexual relationship between celebrities ever is? But it was enough. They would keep lying about only needing a warm body for as long as this lust held their bodies together- hopefully forever, however naïve the notion. Or at least Jaejoong would.
III. The girl is beautiful. Not nearly as beautiful as Jaejoong mind but she was attractive in her own right. Jaejoong is all long limbs and sinewy body, hard edges pressed up against flat lines. She is petite and cute, curvy hips and ample chest. Both with silky fair hair and a pretty pink pout, long fluttery lashes and big dark eyes. But she giggles in ways Jaejoong is unused to, swings her body cutely in ways only adorable on a girl. She calls Yunho oppa with the drawn out syllables and girlish soprano.
When Jaejoong lies empty in his bed he forces his mind not to question why. He knows why. Hates that he knows why. But they always said it was only a temporary fix. Perhaps this temporary fix became a craving and an addiction, drunk on sex and heat, but all vices are curable. Perhaps only in eventuality and painstakingly so, but all in all curable, Jaejoong reminds himself.
IV. Heechul presses a cold beer against Jaejoong’s hot cheek. There is a silent understanding between the two boys. Once a rivalry of beauty and talent, vying for the affection of the same boy; but now it’s a silent understanding between two boys who know what being scorned by love for a woman of all things feels like.
Yunho dances close to the girl, practically panting in her ear and she doesn’t seem to mind in the least.
“Does it ever stop hurting?” Jaejoong asks quietly between sips. Heechul smirks, on the surface it seems merely mischievous, but Jaejoong knows the crude shape of the smirk comes only from the bitterness of heartbreak.
“Jaejoong. You and I are nothing alike.” Heechul says haughtily and gets up. Jaejoong takes that as a “no”. Heechul can flirt all he wants; throw himself in front of the camera, arms and legs tangled around nameless boy after nameless boy, harmless kisses and extravagant hand gestures every which way. But his eyes tell a different story.
Heechul is right. They are nothing alike. Jaejoong cannot hide his pain so easy, even if he merely brushes off the angles at which the camera catches his sadness as simple shyness.
V. Slowly Jaejoong begins to edge away. Turn his head towards Junsu and away from Yunho. To smile at Changmin and spend his time with Yoochun. Yunho is so wrapped up in whats-her-name he doesn’t even notice until it’s too late. Until he’s staring at Jaejoong across a chasm. Yunho asks the others sometimes what’s wrong with Jaejoong. Junsu gives him a pitying look. Changmin shakes his head at him exasperated. And Yoochun slaps him upside the head.
VI. Jaejoong smiles with sad eyes and walks away.
*
Heechul's this really reaallllyyyy hot guy in Superjunior, the first Korean group I fell in love with. Sadly I don't have any pictures of him. But he's really divine-looking! siiiigh. I love being in a fandom of hot guys with fangirls fawning over them.
This had been the third time my plan didn't go as planned. And it's starting to annoy me by the very passing minute. Many times have I been lost in my own muse, thinking of ways to things done. Once, this afternoon, a friend even thought that my eyes looked dead and he said "gray".
So that kinda concludes that I think too much. But I couldn't help the fact that I like to get lost in my own world and shut my ears and eyes from the world. Hah. Emo much?
*
Hm, in approximately ten hours I'll be seeing Zaf back in Brunei. I wonder if she brought back some souveniers. HAHAHAHA. I can be so shallow.
*
Today was... different, of course. We only had Block 3 and 5. After the assembly EAS was cancelled, thankgod. And we skipped Block 2 which I have to thank god again to spare me from Lit since Miss Yong told us to draw the scenery/imagery that we see when we read Summer Farm.
And apparently, not all of us are such good drawers like this certain someone with the name which starts with a Z and ends with an I. Yeah I'm talking about you Zati. I know you're a damn good drawer! Even my chicken looks like a skimpy chick. No pun intended.
Damn right now on one hand I'm looking at my crappy looking drawing of a what is suppose to be a farm and they guy lying down looked so... dead and... scarecrow-like. Scares the shit out of me. Hm, oh yeah. In Maths class Mr Law taught us a chinese word rather shamelessly.
He taught us the word shit in Chinese. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Cool right our teacher? Teaching us bad words! Actually it came from the Maths term psi and yeah. Sai. Psi. Shit. Yep. The tension in the class kinda calmed down a lot.
*
During Socio class...
...miraculously I didn't fall asleep at all. Not even a wink. I knew listening to music while eating samboi and poking myself with an inked pen could keep myself awake... for an hour.
Then the rest is such a damn blur to me. And I didn't get another chance watching again. More than five times in a row. It's really frustrating. Really did almost took into tears. But then, that reason would be too trivial. Heh, women are trivial-minded. Wow. No. I mean... Not that I'm my gender is weak. Er, goddammit. Oo. The Ellen Degeneras Show.
Recently, specifically yesterday I found a new fandom.
And recently, specifically yesterday I have become part of that fandom.
And that fandom is DBSK or TVXQ.
I began to know of this band early this year. However I wasn't into the group, yet.
Yee Ping, a few months ago, forced me to watch a DBSK DVD she bought as to convince me that DBSK is waaayyy better than KAT-TUN. I almost unwillingly accepted but now I am sooo thanking her and be forever in my "in debt" list. Since then I loved U-know Yunho.
Just yesterday I grew bored of waiting for updates on various LJ comms of my three favourite JE bands, so I decided to dig out information of JaeJoong whom Yee Ping is fawning over. After a few researchs, I found four LJ comms solely dedicated to JJ&YH and one LJ comm dedicated for JJ.
I've become a member and now I'm watching clips of JJ&YH moments and I have to admit that I've never seen any guys showing great deep gay lovin' platonic love towards each other publicly.
So yeah. Right now I'm obsessing over JaeHo a.k.a. YunJae a.k.a. UknowHero pairing. There's just too many of member ai going on around them. And the fact that Jae Joong is such a beautiful man and Yunho a handsome man just makes me drool over them more than the other talented and equally hot members.
As much as I wanted these two hot, beautiful guys together they are... not gay. They're just comfortable with each other. Although there might be some hints that both of em love each other or is that just my Jaeho-induced brain is telling me to think that way?
A special birthday message to His Majesty, our very much beloved Sultan.
*
HAPPY 61TH BIRTHDAY
TO THE MAN WHO HAD TAKEN GOOD CARE OF HIS CHILDREN AND HAD GIVEN AN OUTSTANDING HELP TO HIS CITIZENS.
May you have a great 61 year old life. And us, your children, hope to see a greater acheivement in the country. And in my point of view I thank you and your late father to have taken care of us and continued to give us support and check up on us.
And I as a former student of STPRI appreciated you to have taken the time to be concerned about two years ago's horrific incident, and your suffering children.
Please continue taking good care of us.
May Allah bless you with a good life with your family(on both ideas) and your friends.
Hey a friend gave me a link to the petition site and after watching a few seconds of it makes me feel squeamish already, and please give these animals a voice. The horrendous things these innocent animals have to go through.
Please if you don't wanna watch the video as it is graphic and not recommended to the squeamish, just click the cut below and sign the petition.
Click hereand sign the petition against fur trade in China. Seriously all that unforgivable inhumane acts just for... money? Bunch of inhumane bastards.
And if it is possible, please spread this. For the sake of these poor animals. Please.
Today was fairly okay. So-so. Okay I lied again. Today is gooooooooodddd~!
In the morning, was cramming all the Socio stuff into my head in less than 30 minutes before the test, which was in Block 5 - the first dreadful thing to happen on a weekend morning. :p And the result : the same brain-cracking permanent brain damage from the last Socio paper.
Siiiiggh. I need to stop procrastinating. It's not doing good to my studies in my college lately. Well it's done miracles when I had my June History exam! I just don't know why it's not working now. TT.TT
Along the way to the library, I was feeling a bit pissy(and yes I know there's no such word but it's only used between me and Zati) and scowling. The paper made me so mad. If you collect all the anger and frustration I had, with that amount of strength I could win against any pro-wrestler.
Then during PS I was racking my brain trying to decide whether to skip the civic or to study for Maths. The thought of being absent the whole day if I skiepped civic ran through my mind persuaded me to not skip civic class.
After almost an hour worth of deathcalling session, I had an urge to bludgeon myself against the nearest wall 'cause it turns out to be that I could have skipped civic class without being known that you skipped it. The session ended with the students ticking their names and stupidly I didn't think of asking Sa'aadah to tick my name while I was gone.
That way I could save myself from being registered to be absent and I could study for my Maths test which was in Block 3.
But hey at least the test was fine and dandy. 'Twas topical. All about binomial probability or some other name close to that.
Then comes the part of the day which was entirely killed by the fact that Mr Peter Holland didn't teach us anymore. Literature. Miss Yong is a fairly good teacher. I can see that she is trying very hard however it seems that she doesn't give out that sort of wise aura often emiited by Mr Peter Holland.
She basically knows her stuff but not as much as Mr Peter Holland. And the fact that the guys in Lit class fawns over her didn't really make me see her as a teacher. And you are actually asking, Yes I dislike Miss Yong but NO I'm not dissing her. Well I'm trying not to.
Then lunch. All I can remember is that I was anticipating for someone's presence before my eyes. However my prayers weren't heard. Bleh. So I emo'd a bit before remembering that Chimeh had something in one of his classes.
There was suppose to be a surprise party for Yazid and us, GDLs, waited as long as we can for the birthday boy to come after he had his prayers. Some had to leave and by some I don't like saying names in here to show who wasn't there I do mean Zimah a.k.a Dayangku Nurul Izzati Hazimah bt Pengiran Haji Abdul Rahman. a.k.a Zee. HAHAHAHA, aren't I mean?
Since Muh had to leave early she got the first bite of the scrumpcious cake! And oh maan, looked soo good. And I was the one who sliced the cake!
As the birthday boy came we all acted gay natural. And it's obvious that none of the GDLs will pass up or even qualify as actors, not even amatuers. HAHAHAHA.
Fakhri and I were clueless of what went on during the surprise. Because as we sang the birthday song Muhdiyah who had the cake on her hands kept on appraoching me, smiling. HAHAHA. I've always thought that her smile was, at times, creepy. While she kept on advancing towards me I backed away, not caring if I stumble and fall onto the concrete floor.
See? She was smiling maniacally as wide as her mouth can muster while advancing towards me. How creeoy can that be? And Fakhri also had the same "Huh? FTW" face on him.
So I ran away from her. She diverted to Fakhri and sang the song. Fakhri and I were, yet again, clueless.
Dzar kept on pushing me towards the cake and I thought that she wanted me to take a good, clear picture of the chocolate cake almost to the point where my face almost went into the cake. =.= But I forgive you Dzar.
And I'm sorry for being blur at that moment. My mind was drifting off thinking of Chemih. It only took me about two minutes to register what was actually going on, and that was after I glanced at what was written on the cake. And it said :
To : Nab, Fakhri & Yazid
♥ GDL =)
Heee~ These guys can be very sneaky. And I just love 'em for their sneakiness and cunningness. By the time I realised that the surprise was actually for us July birthday celebrants - Fakhri, Yazid and I.
And they had pizza too! Two carts of 'em! It was oiiissshhhiiii~ But then, I only got a slice. Hm, I need to appreciate that I actually got a piece. Better than none no?
Then the cake was heavenllyyy~ It was cold thus getting the plastic knife to get through the cake was a challenge to all. We had to muster all my strength to get the cake sliced centimetres by centimetres. Pathetic huh?
Then the guys kept on smudging each other's faces with either the cake or the pink frosting. Siigh. Fakhri smudged pink frosting on my cheek and accidentally smudged some on my tudong. And I couldn't get it off me. >__________<>to realise after me and Zati went back!
Was planning to watch the badminton tournament when Zati and I got down. However it seemed that when we came, the human race population there was scarce. And I we panicked. Yup, seeing so little of people made me change my mind watching the tournament.
But I toughened up and went there with Zati. I was sorta freaked out when I saw cubes of ice were flung everywhere. Then went up to watch the empty of the field, out of the scorching hot sun. But we weren't spared from the scorching heat.
Felt fidgety that time and my breathing ragged and shallow. Thousands of thoughts raced through my mind. I even felt a bit woozy at one point thinking of his presence.
We ate there - me, honeydew and Zati, burger - and seeing there were no trash bins anywhere in sight we ventured to look for one to throw our rubbish. And on the way, at ground level, I saw him. Haaaa~
I was looking around searching for a trash bin and he was there, seemingly looking for someone. I shrugged it off and continue our "journey" finding the bin. Went down the short tunnel thing and found one. Zati was still at wherever she was that time. However when I looked back to call out Zati's name, he was there standing a few metres away from me.
I thought it was the sound of my brain cracking when I realised it was only the plastic container I was clutching onto.
That time my mind couldn't function well so I turned my back to him and idiotically scrutinized the trash bin. (You know with all the squinting of the eyes and putting your hand on top of your brow. Like a navigator for pirates and those kinds.)
He appeared in front of me suddenly after Zati came. And he was searching for someone, yet again. I wonder who he was looking for?
Ah damn. By the time I turned to look at him he disappeared. =.=
Was dodgy and jerky since then. HAHAHAHA all thanks to the aftereffect of being so excited and nervous at the same time. I am sooo uncool(that IS an understatement) But 'twas a great time.
On the way back up me and Zati were busy chatting, hitting eachother's arms, arguing and the likes. Saw Nazim. I find myself odd that I don't feel incessant hatred towards him when he's alone rather than when he's with his girlfriend. Jealousy maybe? Naah. Couldn't be. Sure I've disliked his girlfriend since... eight years ago. But still that doesn't answer why I don't hate him as much as when he's around his girlfriend.
Heading towards the college, Lei called out my name and it appears to be that he just got back from the Mall with Meel. Those lovebirds. tsk tsk tsk. There's never a time when I've never seen them apart from each other.
And coincidentally him and his group were behind us, only metres away. Then the aftereffects of being "excited and nervous" came back to me. =.=
Took a turn to the canteen since Zati was thirsty. And after we turned back to the same route they... disappeared. And that really really freaked me out. Really.
Then went up to the front of the library and hung out there till Zati went home.
*
At night I was all types of moody bitchy cantankerousness put together for no known reason even I myself couldn't think of. Then mom forced me to go with the family to visit our sick grandma. And I just knew that she was sick. How come no one told me of this? Feh.
I was being emo and listened to Gackt's songs at full blast. And I was quite sure that I "felt" my eyes go blank. So did my mind. Even the fact that my hair was a total mess that time didn't trigger any worries to myself.
Upon reaching my grandma's house as soon as we stepped in the maid told my mom that grandma went to a masseur with the others. Only the maid and my other cousin were there.
It seemed useless that I had to change my clothes and try as hard not to glare at the first moving object near me.
My mom didn't wanna waste her time going back home so she decided to shop. There were a few groans of rejections however the main problem was that my brother only wore his nightclothes. I wasn't complaining. I didn't wanna go shopping at that time too, since my hair was a total mess. It stood out at every possible directions. Hah. Embarassing no?
In the end I bought a cute keychain. But now I regret it since I realised that the colour is so ugly. I should'ce bought the one with red, blue and green as its colour.
After the shopping spree my family and I passed by this CD shop. And if I couldn't stop walking right there, I had to slow down. I took ym time engrossing the person my eyes were fascinated of.
In there I saw a... kid. beware for some pedo-talk and some plans of kidnapping a cute kid. Yes a kid. He reeeally reminded me of Yabu. Those soft features which could pass up as a premature girl. He was... cute. And I can see that he was younger than me. He might be 12 or 13 in age.
Yes, I'm being a pedo now. But that's not new to me. I've always fawned over cute guys. Even ones that are obviously younger than me.
I had to lie to my mom that I wanted to buy some DVDs just to see him again. I know you readers might be freaked out by this. But let me assure you that it's only short-lived.
Everytime I listen to any Gackt's song, I feel so moved despite the fact I don't really understand a single Japanese word.
His voice is just enough for me break in tears. A waterfall of tears cascading down my face shamelessly.
Gackt deserves to be called the King of JRock. His songs, his voice and the lyrics to the songs he wrote are enough to send my soul to be in a whirlpool of emotions and drown in the situation. That way I feel most relaxed.
Currently I'm listening to one of his many good singles, Secret Garden, and I resisted my eyes from letting tears fall. Oh god, his voice sends involuntary shivers down my spine.
Right now I wanted to express my love towards Gackt and his Jrock music, but since I need to keep things at the very least decent if not professional I write this with all my emotions imprinted with it. Every single syllable written down here are all my emotions, feelings and thoughts. Though 'tis hard I need to practice to keep myself intact from going berserk thus scaring away you readers.
O-ho. Some of you might think As if another fangirl can scare me away. Well maybe yes I couldn't but there are times when I get a bit too hyper to the point where this girl I was chatting with practically ran away from her laptop-- well okay not her laptop but her cousins since at first I was chatting with her cousin before her - and my friend(the cousin) told me that I scared her away and I was the first fangirl to ever scare the bloody wits out of her.
(Y) Ain't that cool?
Hahaha. I know that's not something to be proud of but really, it's better than nothing no?
*
HAHAHAHHAHAHA I saw this post from an LJ comm and I'd have to ask myself whether Japanese are crazy when it comes to fandom! 'cause I mean really, if you saw A HOT AND FAMOUS celebrity walking down the pathway of a public market what would you do?
Well my answer would most probably be harrassing coming up to him and do whatever my cracked brain might think of at the very moment.
Here is Pi a.k.a Yamashita Tomohisa~ The second love of my life! HAHAHAHHA exaggerating much?
And check that bod, man. It's what every girl would die for touching it.
>_____<>
Anyway don't you think it's rather odd that the people didn't seem to care that a hot, talented, delish, famous actor/singer is starkly in front of them and didn't react as any fangirl would do? Don't you think that's just crazy! HAHA!
Imagine this : Your mom asked you if you'd accompany her going to the market but you declined, saying that the market is stinky. Then after she came back you asked, "So was there anything good in the market today?" She answered, "Oh nothing much, just this." And she took out her phone and showed you a picture of Yamapi in a singlet!!
LOL. I would die regretting I didn't go with her! >__________________________<
This may have been a very strange thing to ask, if it wasn’t for the tiny piece of chocolate wrapped in foil that Yabu was offering to him. Even with that as an explanation, Shoon was slightly weary of the smile on his face, which mirrored the one that Tegoshi-senpai often got when he was planning something.
Even so, he couldn’t resist Yabu. “Sure…”
Yabu’s eyes were on him the whole time that he carefully unwrapped the candy, placed it in his mouth, and chewed it carefully.
“Want another?” he asked when he saw Shoon swallow. Well, he was offering…
“Yes, please.”
Yabu leaned closer to him, hand clenched into a fist, and Shoon expected that he would give him another chocolate kiss. Which Yabu did. What he didn’t expect was that, as Yabu dropped the wrapped kiss into his hand, he surged forward and pressed a very real kiss to his lips.
“Don’t worry, the candy was an added bonus,” He said happily at Shoon’s shocked face.
*
I'm bored and I'm hungry yet again. And for some odd reason I was craving for... Kiss. Then at that same time I read this ShoonxYabu fic and since my mind was a blur two hours ago, and an hour ago I had this idea in my head and voila! A short simple spur of the moment ficlet!
There are things that scare the wits out of me, and I thought to myself just now that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't mentally prepared for what was to come in my direction. It really scares me. Even when I hear the words from him shrivels my soul. And daftly I just realised that now, after months he said that to me. Pretty freaky. And another one of those lines from him just this afternoon I felt it in my skin, that it felt so foreign and daunting.
This feeling only crept up to a higher and a frightening level with the "help" of Aaron only makes this hollow feeling more forbidding. Oh dear god, thinking about it makes my fingers hard to move about on the keyboard. It's practically numb and kinda frozen.
Oh god, why you? Why? Of all people why me?
My breathing ragged and my chest thumping at a rate that it could burst. Oh god why?
I know it was my fault that I made him this way. But I tried reasoning with me why he should stop. But it seems that my words were just air. Air that you could just wave it off and tale for granted.
I'm sorry. I knew it was all my doings. So please for my sake, stop.
*
If I knew any better, I would've studied for Socio at least a day before the day of the test. (facepalm)
Cramming all the specifics and essentials about interviews and questionnaires in less than ten hours is proven to be unattainable and instigates a high chance of permanent brain damage. And I think I'm undergoing the initial process now. Or did it happen earlier ago when I fell asleep during the test. (shrug).
Anyhoo yet again, I didn't do that well for the first paper of the Socio test and now I have to study a whole lot harder for the second paper to make up for the first. (sigh) Ah well. I don't know how to force myself to study Socio.
I need motivation. Really. And a whole lot too. A huuggee chunk of it. Because I don't wanna fail for the second MPR.
Sociology is the only subject that I've ever come across to abhor to the very core of my burning soul full of anger and hatred. I hate youuuu Socio!!
*
After the test I quickly packed up my stuff and rushed to the library. Hahaha. I have hidden agendas. Well not so hidden. But still I had stupid trivial reasons why I practically ran and almost tripped on my two feet and stepped on my skirt. (sigh)
There wasn't anyone I know in front of the library and killed time by reading the fics I saved from various LJ comms. And coincidentally "he" was there. Hm. Was taken aback for a short moment before I went to sit somewhere I can't recall where. (is in a total blur) Yeah.
So I read fics and unconsciously kept on glancing at him. And he was busy with his own stuff so wasn't the slightest bit concerned about getting caught redhanded taking glances at him. Yet again I was proven wrong... he saw.
Actually that wasn't the first time today. While I was studying for Socio which started 5 minutes before the test and he suddenly appeared out of nowhere and I got very very distracted. I began acting the usual hyper, crazy, fangirl me and my head almost went around 360 degrees scanning the area for him and was turning around.
He turned to somewhere around me and stupidly, I quickly turned around and flail my arms about as if I was stretching my arms. HAHAHAHA I was stiff that time so the stretches were as stiff as a board! HAHHAHA!! Man, why do I tend to lose my cool when it comes to this? HAHHAHA!! It's sooo not me.
So after I finished reading those fics I made my way out and I felt the wind crashing to my face and the coldness was uncanny. It wasn't everyday that you feel small droplets of rain hitting you face as soon as you step out of the library.
It drizzled at first and I sat alone on the red plastic chair and kept on seeing the he-b*tch from time to time. So I thought that of I can't really kill him or punch the lights out of him, maybe I could learn to forget about what happened and yeah.
No sooner Fakhri, Zils, Baz and the others came from... somewhere under the light rain and then FWOOOSSHHH!!! the rain became heavy as soon as they stepped on the pavement. HAHHA! Sometimes I love how nature works its wonderous ways. Ooo~ Alliteration! And then there was strong wind and everything clattered and glass fall and crash into uncountable pieces, notes flown and scattered everywhere on the wet muddy ground, skirts.....flew up..... and guys go 'Oooh~ Phewiit!' Bunch of pervs.
Then talked with Zati for a while behind the library before she went home and the rain withered and the wind died down for a bit and everything calmed down. Then silence.
Uwaa~ Twas boring that time. Everyone else went to watch the footie match and mom picked me up. Mom, bro and I went to McD because I kept on pestering her about food and how hungry I was.
We ate out and during the destination home my mom was being crazily funny that I laighed till my stomach hurts. She was talking about racing the Merc that was beside us.
So then while turning at a curve with the hot sleek grey Merc still beside us, she kept on saying "Mari ko, mari ko, hahahaha cuba lawan mercedesku ane nah! Hah! Hah! Cubatah nah!" HAHAHAH And then and then she had this poker's face on and her back slumped forward as if imitating a real racer! HAHHAHA!!
She pushed the pedal to the metal and zoomed past the Merc then laughed in her so called victory and continued racing against the Merc which eventually "won" against her.
And then and then... she made this joke and I swear made me almost piss in my pants...skirt...whatever... HAHAHAHAHA!! Then I continued the joke till we got home~ And laughed-- OH OH!! While mom was about to drive in the junction this um, well known transvestite in our kampong just passed by us and waved to my mom. So then my brother questioned the driver's gender.
Then mom said : "Eh, si Saleha tu!"
And my brother choked on his words when he heard it, and looking at his expression and his sudden silence made me crack up. Then mom continued : "Masa pagi namanya Salleh tu, awal malam ane Saleha jadinya." HAHAHAH I don't know and I'm not sure why that made me ROTFLMAO in the car but I think it's the way she said it. HAH!
Man, then I continued with the statement to become a joke and we laughed to our merry ways till we got home and till we went inside the house. I bet the maid next door thought we were crazy or something. But hey, I had a fun time. My family consistes of three crazy members, a serious member and a baby! And with all that, there's no time when it ain't fun with my mom.
(sigh) I wanna watch the tournament! >________________<
Today wasn't much. All I can remember doing before and during the morning registration was doing my Maths homework. Oh ah! There's this guy who rreeaalllyy looks like Kusano who passed by me.
He glanced at me and I could see that his mouth was twitching into a smile. I wonder why. Maybe I had something on my face? Gah. Whatever. I liked his eyes though. Killer eyes. Not really. But his resemblance to Kusano is rather uncanny. The realisation almost killed me! But then his hair is waayyy off-ish. As in the lookalike's hair is... um, freaky? No no. As in... You know those freaky psychotic assassins? Yup, something like that. I used to like him since he had same features as Kusano. But then ever since that morning he just creeps me out. Sure, their smile, eyes, nose are the same. Even the alignment of their beauty marks under their eyes are practically the same. Which sorta freaked me out more.
But hey, anyway. Did Maths. Went to Maths class. Did some work. Maths classmate asked for tissue. HAHAHA That was cute~ Hmph. I don't know by what reason I thought that asking for tissue was cute but my way of thinking is just... different.
Then ELit. Sobs. Mr Peter Holland isn't gonna teach us anymore! More sobs. Dammit! Now we have Miss Yong. She's okay. Her pronounciation is not okay if she's an English teacher teaching English. She even pronounced "cliches" as "cleesh". =.= If she were to be my English teacher during primary school, I'd be doomed. No no. That came out wrong. My English would be doomed.
Break. At first I was standing around like an idiot, waiting for nothing in particular. Then being stupid around Anis, Muai, Fai and Qilah. Talking about our inside jokes. Then went for EAS class.
EAS. Zaf's & Sally's debate was due today. And the judges that time were Khalid, Zimah, Sufi, Carrie and.... me. Sufi kept on pointing at me, choosing me to be one of the judges. But I didn't wanna! >.<> Bleh. So the debate started off with Jeremy's speech of an "insightful introduction" and for some reason he begins to be in my list. He gets on my nerves at times.
And turns out that Huda was the best speaker yet again. But the prop team won. Oh and Zaf's intense stare at Sally was really disturbing. It sent shivers down my spine. She can be creepy when she least intend to. That's what I admire about her most.
Socio. Twas another episode of boring-ness and drowsiness in class. I was struggling to keep my eyes as open as possible, if not as wide. Then the teacher reminded us of the test tomorrow! >.< Oh God, spare me! Just spare me!! I don't wanna take up the test! It's so boring!
Then after class, I walked down the pathway and I felt... somewhat relaxed. For some reason. Then went in front of the library, putdown my bag and files, stood around yet again like an idiot. It was drizzly. The school was in peace and quiet.
Lunch. HAH! During that time I was in a total blur. I even forgot it was even lunch. SO I ran to the stall and hoped for a salmon roll! But as I can see it, fate reeeaaallyyy hates me. You know that saying :
Good things come to people who wait
Well apparently I've waited long enough and I'm pissed 'cause I haven't gotten a single salmon rool for two weeks!! Sobs. Pathetic, I know. Shut up.
PS. I spent it in the library surfing the net. Checking the frequent LJ comms. The stuff.
Then around 2 Zati came in and we waited for an hour. Her, drawing and me, typing. Yeah, not so productive. Well in my case it's not very productive.
*
Then around 2.30 this guy named Ka...something. I can't recall his name. Yeah, him. He was the guy who stood beside me during the PUTERA marchpass and we only glanced at each other once.
Seeing him that time was something I didn't expect. He came in with his friend and he looked at me and smiled. Of course in favour not to embarass Zati, inwardly I awwww-ed. His smile is sooo sweet! >/////<
We both knew that we never talked to each other but seeing him so amiable and approachable is just... is just...
HAA~ Oh no! My face feels warm right now! *slaps self* I can't be this way! But... but... his smile... The lively twinkle in his eyes when he smiled! UWAAAA~!! >/////////////<
Then I quickly looked down because I didn't know why. Then calmed myself down. And I think Zati was looking at me weirdly since I had this goofy grin on my face while I was typing. And yeah. HAA!!
And then and then... he went back in minutes later alone and Zati and I were about to leave for the piano concert thing. Zati was packing up and I was left waiting for her. I was still at the huge desk and we looked at each other again.
One thing I'm definitely sure was that nobody was behind me. FOR SURE. NO ONE. AT ALL. But the Ka...something guy looked onto my general direction and smiled at me more broadly then before. I wasn't sure if that smile was meant for someone else so I had this blur, bangang face while looking at him.
Even as he went to the guys' section he still kept on looking at me with that grin. I was like Is he seriously looking at me? Or are these contacts faulting my eyesight... again.
I chose to smile back at him. And OMFASDFGHJKLZXCV GOD!! He waved at me!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That... has got to be one of the cutest things I've ever witnessed!
So lemme think back at what he did :
- He turned his face to me
- He beamed
- He waved as I smiled back
- And he's just plkjhgfdsah cute when he grinned
Phew~ Being so excited like this seems to be so new to me. I haven't done this for a long while. I kinda miss it. And I just have to thank him for making me feel so excited again.
*
Then we watched the piano con and it was..rather...okay. Much better than the guitar perf.
Arif was waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy good playing the keyboard. Way way waayyy good. Especially when he played LP's What I've Done. Very nice. (Y)
There were four players and they played repititively. But still Arif's perf was the best. He's daammnnn good! And he sings good too. Although I'm not sure since the keyboard overlapped his voice.
I was sniffing and sniffling the whole time during the perf and the room was sinfully cold. Couldn't stand it but had to stay. Cause don't wanna miss anything. Then around 3.50 it ended.
Sa'aadah was still there with the others. They just came from the Mall Cineplex, watching Harry Potter. Damn them. I wanna watch that!
So yeah. That's all I can remember. Oh oh! I was hungry that time too that I ate two packets of Mee Asam Laksa and finished it within 4 minutes. I am soooo good. HAH!
Gah. It's 12.26 AM right now so gotta go. BYE! I can't wait to see the Ka..something guy again!
Yeeaahhh. But "sexy, powerful and bold"? Right. Oh goooddd.... I am sooo bored! I couldn't even concentrate on the pile of Sociology notes that's lying beside my lap! So I hunted for personality tests and voila! This is it. Short though. But it appealed to me at that moment.
I brought Fakhri's gift today, finally. Hah. I forgot to bring it yesterday. Sorry! >_______<
Wasted about fifteen minutes at home debating what to use to cover up the huge purple present, then finally decided to use the D&G bag to cover up the... purpleness of it. Hah. Weiiirrd.
Then came to school with a bit of struggle carrying the box while balancing three files in another hand. Miraculously that didn't make me trip and fall gracelessly into some longkang or the stairs. It's odd that at first the gift seemed to block the whole of my view of what was in front of me and during break, it just seem to have shrunken. Odd.
So yeah gace it to Fakhri and he seemed... half-shocked half-bangang 0.001% kinda embarassed since the gift was huge. Um, yeah. Oh oh! I forgot. The gift was spose to come with the card I boughr for him yesterday but yeah, since we were running late to school I forgot to bring it. Hm and reading this back makes me souunndd like a bimbo. So anyway, back to the forgot-to-bring birthday card. Yeah, another bad vocab time. And as always ignore the bad vocab. I called dad to bring the card and he later brouight it during ELit class. So had to run all the way down to the dining hall and run back up again to class. Miraculously I didn't break a sweat. Maybe that was because the day was cool and not as hot as it was spose to be.
Then got the guys sign the card and surprised him. Hm, leme show you a demo of how it went :
Fakhri : *standing around in front of the camera* ... [revengeful. HAHAHA!! inside joke.] Me : *tip toeing to him* Fakhri : *still clueless* Me : *jumps in* FAKHRI!!!! HEREEEE!!! *opens the card* YOU FREAK!! [Haha! Okay maybe I didn't say the last bit but it was in my mind!] Yeeahh. Nothing much but hey I can't think of whta happened after that. Then he didn't show during his usual... "appearance" and yeah got a lil depressed and "marung" and act emo. I only saw him for like.... less than a minute. Sad, yes? Well you wouldn't care.
Then all that I can remember is being alone in front of the library. Everyone had their classes and dates and things. Bleh. Segregated. Bleh. Two days lefy before the Socio MPR test. xppppppppp
Haaaaaaaaa!! Oh my GOD!! It's been a long time I haven't fangirled like this since..since...MY 17TH BIRTHDAY!!! HEEEEE!!! I NEED someone to fangirl with!! ZATIII!!!!! Where are you when I need you the most!! Ha! HA! HAAAA!!!! *hyperventilates* KYAAAA~!!!!!!!!
A clear insight of the video.
Guys in RED are members of Ya-Ya-Yah.
Guys in WHITE are members of NewS.
The kid in RED is Hikaru.
The guy in WHITE who put his hand on the back of Hikaru is Yamapi whom I adore so much to the most bottom of the bottom of my heart but then I love Shoon more!
And then there's a guy at the end of the song, whom I also fawn over is named Kusano Hironori. I love him~
And then and then there's Yabu - the one who stands at the left of Hikaru and Yamapi!! He's grown to be fine fine fine young man. Then there's Massu. GAH. I need to stop fangirling!!!
HIKARU!! YAMAPI!!!
This is "Summary" perf done in Shounen Club and there's NewS and Ya-Ya-Yah~!! And and the reason why I'm fangirling and hyperventilating and squeezing the life out of my blue pillow is well... JUST WATCH 1:33 and THERE you can see some YamapixHikaru lovin~ HUAA!!! *slaps self* GEGEGEGEGEGEGGE!!! SLAPPING! SELF! DOES! NOT! WORK...ANYMORE!! OH NOOOO!!! *keeps on playing the same scene for thr millionth time* HEEEEEEEE!!!!
Yamapiiiiiii~!! You're Hikaru's sempai! Don't touch him and gaze at him longingly like that!! He's too young! You just wait till he's 19!! He'll be more HOT!! And yeah, HOT!! HUAAAA!!! HIIIKAARUUU!! You looked back at him with..with..those shy eyes!! HEEEE!!!!
And and then you looked at him and he looked at you!! OH MY GOD!! What the hell do you people have in secret?!! A secret relationship or something??? NOOOOOO!!! I mean, YAAYYY!! But no, you're too young!! HAA!!! I'm talking crap again!!! I must stop fangirling and waste the blog with my fangirliness!!
[NOTE : NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH, AS THE VIDEO ABOVE CONTAINS IMPLICIT SAME GENDER HINTED FLIRTS. AND ONLY FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY SHOUNENAI AND YAOI. AND BASICALLY FOR THOSE WHO LOVES/KNOWS YA-YA-YAH AND NEWS.] Thankyou. OH OH OH!! HAAAA!! One more video!! There's SHOON in it! As you Ya-Ya-Yah fans who might be reading this, you know you hardly see our beloved Shoon being all high, on crack or just plain hyper. I know this video you've seen but hey I just love it and I adore Shoon. You can say that I'm practically heads over heels in love with him.
Oh my god. Today was a blast! Maktab Duli's Sports Day turns out to be a whole lot of motivational shouts, screams and a bunch of fun~
Came to school at 7.11 then got weird stares from this group of people for I dont know what reason. But hey, my supposedly admirer was there with his people. So I think I might have an idea why. Then one of his friends who's kinda my friend. You know Morning Dude. Yeah, him. He was being nice.
So I'm in a rush right now and I'm gonna things quick and jipper.
Where was I? Ah yeah, so I met up with Sa'aadah on the way and went along to our merry ways to the field. Gone hunting looking around for our respective tutor group. Then Zati and I lost Sa'aadah.
We sat at the top most left and I was squirming around because of the heat. Then took some random shots with the H5 and Zati took some with the T-100.
Hahaha~ In the first picture Mims' expression is just hilaaaariouuss~! So in the first picture : (from the left) Baz, Azzah, Mims, Rabz. PUTERA PANTANG PUTUS ASA!! And then Mira went up to us and asked me to go down with her to take more photos of all the track and field events. And I'm sorry that the pictures aren't upstraight. Gah. This bloody entry is so rushed. GAH!
And~ this is Jiji and her friend... HAH! What a way of describing people in an eloquent style. *rolls eyes*
DAAMMNNN!!! He's pretty good. Actually this is taken by Zati, with my T-100.
Hahaha!! This one kinda makes me laugh! I'm not sure why. But I'm having a great guess that it's maybe his posture... or his body. Heh. Too bad it's too dark. Ah well. Today was all rushy-rushed-rush. Even my cameras were dying on me and it wasn't AN HOUR!! GRRRRR!! I knew I should've bought spare batteries! *pulls hair*
Ooo~ I like this one. Although colour sucks. Not vivid enough as I wanted it to be. But hey the posture is enough to satisfy me. She looks like an eagle no? Or a bird? Gah. I know, I'm making senseless comments.
So then I was taking more shots at the competitors doing javeline. And I have to say that so far I saw two guys who were awweeessoommmee in javeline. And Artie was goooood. I saw his and his throw was the furthest. Then Mira, Zati and I went to the Putera camp to take more shots. And unexpectedly Azzah came up to me with a very worried face and practically begged me to join the marchpast since there wasn't enough people in it. Siiigh. How could I refuse? I'm a sucker for desperate requests.
So I was one of the marchpast-ers. And I became more tanned. Guuhh. WHY?? Why me??
But then despite the tan, the spirits of the Putera marchpast-ers were high. It was a good experience. Fuad and his friend were the life of all the ruckus.
Who are we?! PUTERA!!!! What are we??!!! PUTERA NEGARA!!!! Will we give up??!! NO!! Will we EVER give up??!! NEVERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! And and Fuad and his friend made the one below :
I don't know what you've been told! Putera! Negara! Is in dis house! (Yes, it's "dis" not "this")
And for the rest... yeah. Stood in front of the stand and on the grassy field for an hour? Guuh. The spppeecchh. I could've died in dehydration right there if I didn't convince myself that there's one more minute left. One more. And then another speech. one more minuttee. Yeah pathetic.
PUTERAAAA NEGARAAAAA!!! WOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD THAT LOOKS SOOO COOL WITH THE FLOWY BANNER THING!
Mims and Baz. And in the background, to the left you'll see : Zimah, some random girl, random guy. And if you squint your eyes closer to this picture there's a group of three girls posing behind Mims and Baz. And that's Fiza, Izni and Dzar~
And here they are! HAHAH and OMG when I saw this I saw the dude in BLUE!! And I was shocked to see his new haitcut which is a total bleerhh!! MUIZ!!! WHY DID U CUT IT?? IT LOOKS SOO UGLY NOW!
And yes, for the people who knew what happened, I know that I have a picture of him in here. Grrh. I'll just forget about that he-b*tch. I still hate Nazim no matter what.
So anyway. After the medal was presented to the respective winners I was wondering around since both my cameras were dead. *attempts to clobber cameras* Ngah!
So there were more shouts and screams of victory, joy, anger, sadness and frustration. And Syaf taking pictures. And damn I want his camera. Wait no. I want Syaz's camera!! >____<
Ngah. Can't think of anything right now so will end now. Sorry that it's a bit rushed.
ring the surprise. Because as we sang the birthday song Muhdiyah who had the cake on her hands kept on appraoching me, smiling. HAHAHA. I've always thought that her smile was, at times, creepy. While she kept on advancing towards me I backed away, not caring if I stumble and fall onto the concrete floor.
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