if only yesterday
Sunday, February 17, 2008 1:34 PM
I'm happy. I've been in a good mood. The ketam masak kari did do me good. Very luscious, meaty and it came in a large package. Awesoommme (Y). But my brother played the 30 days of night DVD so uh, the grotesque gore killed the moment I had with my ketam masak kari. [caresses the bowl of crabs]
Plans for tonight : Finish up the characterisation table, and the essay on motherhood on D. Copperfield. Check fandoms. Eat. Stare at the empty spaces in my room. Oh, and plot an ambush on the enemy. (No cold blooded shit-coloured reptilians should live! I'll squash them and impale them on satay sticks, then grill them. Oh, sweet revenge. [throws fist into the air])I finally have pictures on this blog. Grrrrhh.Labels: daily life, pictures, random crap
work those magical fingers~
Saturday, December 1, 2007 5:28 PM
I'd want to say that I'm pathetic, but that's besides the point here.
There are many things I want to tell you blodders. No, blodders doesn't mean "blog readers" because the term might offend the prudes who'd think that blodders could mean a chunk load of swear word chopped and glued together as one whole lame cuss which reminds of a cow's udder.
But that's besides that point either.
The pokok of this entry is...
Or even,
Those three macros were wayyy overdue. In two previous posts I told myself that I would post them up, but laziness got the better of me. T__T
So yeah.
I kept saying that MD's guitar performance will suck, but he was there. WITH a guitar in his hands. WITH his own fingers strumming the strings. And good god, I would flail my arms making incomprehensible high-pitched noise of someone witnessing the divine essence of HOT, upon staring the sheer pelvic thrusts, flexing taut muscles as they strummed.
*__________*
*fans self*
And and, the FANBOYS! Who could forget the fanboys bellowing "C!!" which caused me to jerk up roaring "FANBOYS UNITE!! HOO-HAAAAAH!!"!
If I did not stupidly left the battery but brought my 8.1 megapixel camera only, I may have taken the screencaps frame-by-frame, as to best capture the oblique orgasmed expressions of every guitarists, especially him. And the hard pelvic thrusts. And the wet lips. And the constant stolen glances and ambiguous sly smile of interaction between him and this other awesome guitarist whose name I will not mention but I would tell if you asked.
What? I'm just sayin'.
Other things that made me not regret going for the perf :
- the "8 people in a band" orgy.
- the total and questioning buttsecks. BETWEEN TWO GUITARISTS.
- (...although the perf was completely not up to my expectation yet again) this one performance by a group of supposedly MD-ians whom I swear I've never seen before in my life. They own asses!
- A-and there were man --, I mean GUITAR grappling. *___* Who can resist not watching it?
Oh and since today is the last day of school some of us GDLs went out to the Mall. The guys went before us girls, because we had to wait up for this one particular person for an hour.
But all's good. Instead of watching a movie, we wasted time in the arcade, eating, watching Naruto, stuffs.
BACK TO THE STORY. Guitar performance was some awesome brain bursting mind flailing experience. Well for me that is.
Randomly, FANBOYS UNITE!! HOO-HAAAAAAAAH!! and bandorgies are nice.
Labels: daily life, fangirling, GDL, Maktab Duli
malay again?
Wednesday, November 28, 2007 4:36 PM
I'm really sorry for being such a moody bitch today, since today is a special day for someone. I was moody because of my VIP thing.I even escaped Socio class in my empty ELit class and wallow in frustration and sadness, and killed time by reading David Copperfield and as always I didn't get it. And I am very confused of Ham Peggory's gender.Being swallowed into this whole thing is all because of Miss Zari made me realise about myself : I bear zero confidence in me.Ironically enough(since she is a teacher) she told me to go out more at nights. (Y) She is awesome right? Being analytical that she is she sees that when I'm pressured, for example in an examination hall, everything comes to a standstill; I get mentalblocks. Thus my EAS paper was a cockout. She didn't expect me to fail the paper.All the realisation dampened my mood, and we both are working on getting solutions to my problem. But still I couldn't find any. So she said to me to go out at night more; socialize more; talk to your friends; gain confidence along the way.That's what she advices me to do : Socialize more and go out at night more.My academic-realted problem is not the only thing bothering me. There are some other things too.HOWEVER THAT WAS NOT THE POINT OF THIS ENTRY!!to dzariifah iskandar;selamat menyambut hari jadi -- and why the hell did I speak Malay?HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY DZAR the Catwoman. rawr?Too bad that my camera died before I could get pictures of the yummy cake. I will admit here that if I had the cake all by myself in my room, I'd smother myself with the chocolate and -- yeah.HAPPY BIRTHDAY DZAR!!Labels: birthday, daily life, Dzar, GDL, Maktab Duli
OMFG A GIRL IN A BONNET!
Friday, November 16, 2007 1:35 PM
Um. A-ha?Er, hello.How many days has it been not blogging anything leaving this already crappy blog dead?So I have two QotD's left overdue so maybe I could use those as a peace offering for the many days of not blogging; that with two of my new macros which I know majority of you BLODDERS don't find very fascinating but heck."If you're born a girl,
you're born a handicap."
"Some of my little friends are not here.
But don't worry, I will take my revenge."
Haha. Say to me he is not a funny man. Haha. TRY. Try and I'll blow up every entrails of your body, you wish you didn't just said that. I love this man's humour. LOVE it.
There hasn't been much going on in exception of some that are too personal to talk about here. Oh that reminds me, if you read my twitter a few updates back there were references about vomit right? I've been spewing out reds and greens and water out of my guts the time I was really sick.
And it got me thinking whether fate really hates me and loves me to get sick before any big exams of any subject I really hate. Once it was IRK - years ago, and now it was Sociology. People had been saying to me that it must've been the stress.
But what they didn't know was that I don't stress myself out of anything. Or do I? What the hell. I have a bad memory. And a bad tainted mind. And a big fat bulging tummy. Also an appetite that wasn't how it used to be. All thanks to the vomitsickfevermorehurling thing.
I've been eating less and have a tendency to wanting to hurl it when it got too much. And by too much it's just half a plate of plain rice. Or less. What is wrong with my tummmyy.
Just when I was so close to surreptitiously defeat Zimah's brother's unbelivably mammoth-like appetite. He doesn't know that I was competing though. Hah. Call me a coward and I'll eat your head whole.
I was so close to beating him. SO CLOSE. And Zimah being witness to it. So close.
Nuffuva that.
I had another bowl of Tom Yam the next week and ever since that vomitsickfevermorehurling thing I barely finished half of it. I was depressed since then.
Yesterday Zimah, Dzar, Mush, Fakhri, Nuar, Sin and I went out the afternoon to go to KFC. The funny thing was the journey to go there.
Let's just say some of the drivers would remember me in school uniform, and it is proven that no car hood is a way of disgracing yourself once you pop out of it. And it is a way of making people remember you for a long long time, usually talked about in a party in a social group where they'd laugh at people's stupid antics.
KFC can never be not good unless they ruin the gravy on the mashed potato.
[pictures will be put here once I get my grubby small fingers on Dzar's camera. Haha and there'll be lots of picture of a car bonnet with a person inside it who I will not mention who. Haha.]
Then we strolled around the Mall and entertained ourselves around the candystall, contemplating which sugar-filled snack to get. Was gonna buy something sour when the auntie who was selling the candies said that the sourness is only on the outer shell.
In the end Fakhri made me buy the Tongue Splashers. [Yet again there'll be pictures of our tongue if there's one in Dzar's camera]
One last word, you and me be effingly hot goths. Chillax~ Shoot me for being a retard.
Well I gotta go chumps. Wanna watch the Jeckyll CDs that Dzar lent me. Heard it's OHMYFUCKEN good.
Labels: daily life, Maktab Duli, MD, need my blackhole appetite back
in love with AnyBand
Thursday, November 8, 2007 9:58 PM
Right now I would love to post a hate entry about Sociology, but no. 'Cause people love the damn subject, and will write flames to me about their beloved subject.So no, no hate entries anymore. I've learnt my lesson to keep it as drafts or keep it password-protectd but since this is Blogger and not wordpress password-protected entries doesn't exist here not post any hate entries. Damn those times. Damn it and throw all the sorrowful memories down to the deep abyss of hell.So, an update about DBSK. Skip down if you're not interested in knowing about the fandom.*_______* AnyCall CF was uber awesommme! I -- I swear that godsent CF could make us fangirls go high for weeks!So you don't need your ovaries right?I MEAN, IT'S OKAY IF THEY EXPLODE.It was that good, I swear! Scout's honour!TPL (Talk, Play, Love) was -- I am too speechless to describe how much the awesomeness mixed with the hotness that is Junsu heavily dripped in every second possible! OH. MY. GOD. Koreans are just, just -- they're geniuses behind their masks of cute cat-like eyes of nerdiness!BoA was hot in there, Jin Bora was cute but Tablo... TABLO'S VOICE SCREAMS OHMYEFFINGGODIAMTEHSEXGOD!! His voice compliments a lot with Junsu's. And I cried watching it. Over, and over again. I love it that much.I am listening to TPL on repeat for the past 5 hours, and I am still marvelling the A;LDKSJFLGH-esque quality of it! Oh god, it gives me chills listening to it. CHILLS!!Junsu you are teh secks.END OF FANGIRLING.I had Sociology paper 1 this afternoon, and I came to school.Try debating against me that I am not a very very daft person. Try, and I'll win the case because I am daft. *headdesk*I mean I could've gotten more time to study at home, that way I could work up my way to collect more factual knowledge that what my already-flattened brain contains. I've wasted and threw away my chance to study during PS, EAS and Socio - and which the two classes were either cancelled or the teacher's off to invigilate - and barely read anything.Oh and mom accused me for not entering the AS. God that really hurts. It stings so much that I won't to engrave a spear through me instead of this feeling of mistrust. Ouch, woman. You're my mooooooomm for god's sake! My MOM.Random note to self : Practise on the card flinging throwing act thing. You totally suck at it. Get 'sin to re-teach you or sump'n.I'm not getting comments on this because I know this entry oozes lame boring from any angle. So I thought up something......Comment or I'll send this guy over your place and eat your nose.
Labels: AS exams, Brain not working well: A great time for randomness, contented, daily life, fangirling, Junsu
McD my love
Monday, October 22, 2007 6:38 PM
Sociology class has never been more interesting since Mr Simmonds took over. Sure, he gives me weird looks and has been pointing fingers at us two, but I can brush it off as one of his weird quirks.
Quote of the Day
I hallucinated. When I close my eyes, I see oranges coming towards me.
He was talking about how psychologically traumatized he was after having his worst summer job - watching over bottles of hot orange juice into a cooler and rearranges when they topple over.
This is why it's fun to have English teachers to teach us. During the 45 minutes of the lesson they'd concentrate on what they teach then wastes the fifteen minutes talking about their lives.
During PS4, the only words I remember saying most of the time, roughly, something like a;slskdjkfjghgnekve.
Who wouldn't spazz looking at those slender legs, that tight pants, that fair skin, that cat-like eyes, that mysterious sly smile. It sends shivers down my spine. Yet again, no, I am not a lesbian. I'm describing a guy over here for god's sake.
Just because the description screams the femininity, it doesn't actually mean that I have some weird sick hidden fantasy for females, and have some psychological mental disorder. I just like effeminated men. Because they're purrrty.
Maths. Maths begins with no words to describe how boring it was. ELit was too, but more painfully boring. I slept while listening to the tape about something close to incest, a blonde Italian, Mexicans, and a NewYorkan mafia living in the US. It's a thumbs up that this uncle is gay, and there'll be some not-so heterosexual scenes in the play.
The half and hour nap was goooood.
And a singing blonde Italian mafia is a great catalyst in a play, I swear. In Anis' words, "you were smiling at first and laughed, then your eyes opened wide." It's that good of a catalyst.
Oh congrats to Nadia in her new relationship which just started yesterday.
And Renee Yap which just began a few hours ago. But good god I swear if "you" break my friend's heart I will whack you senseless with my precious camera. Okay maybe not, because this camera is too precious.
Who knew being the wingmanwoman could be so much fun. I've been one since not so long ago.
I love Twitter.
And I like today. Why?
I ate three fillet-o-fish, three large fries, two large pepsi and an Oreo McFlurry, but I still want more.
Till then folks, look left and right before crossing the road.
Labels: daily life
EAS was fun~
Saturday, September 22, 2007 7:56 PM
As odd as it sounds, EAS paper was fun. As soon as the teacher in-charge said aloud START I scanned through the first question and my blue inked pen, once again, won over my mind and worked on its own. I wonder if I've written down more crap than I did on EAS paper 2. Oh how I dread the overall marks.
Prior morning's exam, Sally went home on a medical leave. She looked deathly pale. I wonder how she is now. Get well Sally!
The thing I'm worried for is Monday. Foooook. Seriously, I mean seriously the timetable-planner is an evil person and is out to get us. Considering that Maths P6 is my weakness as much as analysing poems and novels, I would certainly fulfill that heartless person's desire. Boo you. We no like you!
Anyway, the Chem students had their paper at 11.30 and I was suprised to see that there were many who took the subject, since before the exam started the front of the library was packed with people with frantic looks on their faces and black-and-white sheets of paper in their hands, and when they left to go into the audi there were only five of us left.
Fakhri, Zimah, Mush and Munir played some Transformers game on Yazid's laptop. Those guys... need to be away from that game. It was contagious, they were high because of it. I swear they could break the laptop apart from their vigorous and rough smashings on the keypads.
Oh, I kept on eyeing on him whenever I pass by his house. Hah. I feel so stupid. And I find it a tad bit endearing, adorable but annoying that he does not get the idea that my way of showing affection is... a whole lot a bit twisted. I throw insults at you 'cause I care. I say that I hate you 'cause I don't want you to know that I liked you.
Either that you played the role of "ignorance is bliss" or you're just plainly clueless, much to my twisted enjoyment. Your clueless-ness-ity-ish attracts me, very. But the more I know you the clearer it is that I ksdfjkhg;s;lsffdon'thaveachancekafa;fljalcoughskf like you.Labels: daily life
Five pages of crapidity
Wednesday, September 19, 2007 6:54 PM
The final examinations had just started today, and my subject for today was EAS(paper 2). Firstly, I'd be lying if I said it was great. It sucked. Badly.
I had a plot in mind when I saw the question I was destined to write, however due to the time limit my hand grabbed the pen and began to wiggle on the piece of paper. In other words, I didn't know what I was writing, despite a plot progressing in mind. Yes I am a loser. Beat me. (Beat me hard. *breathes*)
What I had written down on my examination paper was fulla crap. And I write like a sissy primary schooler. I used a lot of "I's", "he", "him", "the man" and such, which explains why my paper was five pages worth of (censored) crap.
"I punched Sam in the face, and he cried and begged me to stop bullying him. When I woke up - this was obviously a dream, because nothing so ludicrous could ever happen in real life - Sam was already standing there, because he can read dreams, and he beat my ass for the next three days. I have to say I deserved it."
That was supposed to be part of the story but bearing in mind the markers don't like violent humour, I didn't. I wanted to, but can't. Because I don't think these people wanted to know whether one of their students are capable of writing such black humour slash violence. Well, boo you.
I once tried, during highschool, and the teacher gave me a fat ugly D.
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair, and my piece of writing in the EAS exam. I mean it. It's that bad.
I want to cry... out of boredom.
I want to scream... out of fulfilment.
I want to kill... because Smint told me to.
Very frustrating it was the paper. I've written full four pages back-to-back and a few lines on a new one. And it was about a man who can see spirits and -- an exceedingly beautiful ghost, which was named "Boo" by the guy. Around the end, when Sam(that's the guy's name. Yes, I am very uncreative.) finally saw Boo's appearance when after months staying in his new apartment Boo finally materializes. I deliberately wanted to write boyxboy romance. But I had to jet to write section B which I haven't finished(most of us didn't.). I'm sick. I'm sick and twisted. And that's how I roll.
Upon the finish line I had a little accident. Twice. But thanks to Zimah and some others who helped, I managed to go home safely.
Tomorrow's gonna be hell for me. Sociology paper will waiting for me to scribble all types of accurate, correct, factuals facts that my mind could make up. And factually flunk the paper. Oh yes.
Oh right, you all know that the Maths paper(P1 and P6 together) is all on the same day, along with ELiterature. Both. In one day. Have I mentioned that it's both P1 and P6? And Literature too. On the same day.
Anyone wants to form an angry mob and protest in front of the SA office? Okay, form an orderly line, queue up and let me pencil you in.
Labels: daily life, exams
Aching for youu
Friday, September 14, 2007 10:42 PM
Okay, so maybe I couldn't make those oh-so wonderful icons made from heavens above, but I'm not one of those icon prodigies am I? Perfection is what I want in the icons I'm making. Speaking of icons, if I continue to make more icons later on and post them up here, the blog would look messy. So the detour? Of course, there's livejournal.In fact I do have an account there. As I've mentioned earlier before this entry, I do own one. And I use it for other purposes, other than ranting blogging.Pushing that aside, my back hurts. No. Somewhere around my hips hurt. It's aching and I feel old. I just felt the aching pain not so long ago after I stood up after many hours being a couch potato(but it's not a couch, it's a... chair. Well I couldn't help myself to explain further about this thing I'm resting my ass on) in front of my laptop.Oh you think that's bad? Well apparently at the same time the ache attacked my back I stood in front of the TV, checking out Ch25 for Music Station and at the moment my fingers lingered to my back.And guess what? My spine felt curved. That is not a good sign for an easy life at the age of 60 isn't it? Maybe I'm just paranoid. Because I know I'm bound to be disease-prone and have bodily aches(which I'm dealing with right now). This is great, just great.Oh right, today's sungkai was the best. And I am aware that I'm flaunting about that more than thrice to different people. Well you wanna know what I had? I ate three gigantic bowls of soto, and thank you to my maid who prepared a lot of hot chillis for my serve of soto, and another four ginormous nasi pusu; and actually finished it. Yes, I even amaze myself at times.Aagghh. The lower part of my backside aches so much whenever I move an inch. This sucks. I want to blog. But I'll be gone for weeks, in courtesy of late night and lastminute revisions then cry over the stupidity of procrastinating.Will be back till the exams end. Remember, chew and swallow. :)Labels: daily life
seaweed is evvviilll
Monday, September 10, 2007 11:05 PM
I haven't been anymore unproductive than I can ever be. For four days of holiday I've once again become how I was during the time we waited for the O level results...
...I've been idle.
Hah. Dramatic much~? During those four days I've spent majority of the time being a net addict and incessantly leeching files of the net. Especially anything JaeHo/Yunjae-related. :D Oh how I love akamejaeho @multiply so much. Kristina - the owner - is my life saviour. I love you, woman! Oh gosh, the videos and pictures. I... I love her.
Oh geeeeeez. I couldn't sit still waiting for the 19th! HAAAAAAAAAAAA. DBSK's latest Japanese single Ride On is at the most spot in my MUST-NOT-MISS list. The preview of the song was aired not so long ago and I fell in love with it. They sounded so hot and suave. Made me flushed listening to their uber knee-melting voices. Especially when someone sang the MMM~ bit. Oh dear god, I could die right there.
*jumps around* I just can't wait! I hope by then I still have the energy to squeal at the highest pitch I could muster during the fasting month. *claps happily* Jaejoong, I love you, you pretty sexy umma.
So after many days eyes glued to the laptop screen I finally went out. And my family dined out just a few hours ago at Fusion's. The atmosphere there is quite amiable. Very light. I liked it.
We sat at the balcony facing the jam-packed street and somehow it felt calming oddly. The waitress walked up to us and took our orders and I have to say that their lime green outfit is just... uh... let's say that the colour is very distracting.
I ordered the chicken ramen since on the menu it looked very scrumptious. And I hate how the food would look different than is displayed on the menu. The picture of the ramen had very few wakame(seaweeds) and when the waitress placed it in front of me sniffing the waft of seaweed smell could knock me out.
So I ended up eating half of the huuggeee bowl and two huge-ass glass of Fusion Lemon Ice Tea. Then went to the CD shop and bought Proposal Daisakusen and Liar Game! YAAAAAAAAAYY!! Finally!! But it was a waste that I've downloaded some episodes of ProDai. Feh.
On the way back home I've been feeling nauseous and dizzy. When we arrived I ran to the toilet and well, vomitted. Ugh. As I speak/type my breath stinks like a mixture of vomit and digested wakame. UGGGH. I still feel dizzy though. And a bit... nauseous, still.
Ooooh, I had a hunch that today was someone's birthday and I browsed around to find that it's Juzai's birthday~! Happy birthday!!
*plops onto the bed* Uuuuugghhhhh. I hate you, you green weed of the sea.
Labels: birthday, daily life, holiday
6/9
Thursday, September 6, 2007 8:51 PM
Have I told you? Have I told you that seeing even a flash of your old self the feeling of joy just pour out but at the same time I hear my heart crack little by little.
The small distance we have between us seemed so far I feel as if I could lose you in just a flash.
Did you know? That your laughter was all the sign I needed to see if you're okay. That playful side of you can be another. And those are I need to keep my sanity. My sanity which I need to keep in check once in a while. Losing it again takes up a lot of my energy to put it all back into the jar.
Not too long ago upon a dreadful news which I recall to be rather trivial - but shocking - something in me snapped and after that I thought I was broken. But I was wrong. I could collect and pick up the pieces and start from scratch. Then you began to pop into my mind at unlikely times...
You are my limerence, and no one can take that away from me.
I'll be seeing you again in a fornight. Be well by then.
______________
It's becoming a habit that during Block 3 the high feeling whenever he's around would just be crushed down like a fly when I see him walk out, without casting a last glance back. And now would be the last till next two weeks to come. Then during break I was basically emo.
Putting aside my emo crap, I found an intersting newsletter of some sort in the girls' toilet. At least reading the contents lightened up my mood for ELit class, but it quickly disappears as the very-dim-light-bulb-almost-to-the-extent-that-it-could-be-short-circuited opens its mouth. At one point I started to dislike coming to ELit class, not because the subject bores me however because of the heavy feeling floating around the room.
I couldn't shake off the deep depression from Lit class that I stupidly brought it to EAS class too. Jeremy, YeePing, Sally and Sa'aadah noticed(well duh.) and they made a right choice to leave me be. Bearing in mind that today was the last day of this term Miss Zari had no plans to kill us with tonnes of work but rather she suggested we play a game. Alphabetical game as she calls it.
Basically she tells the question only to say the positions of some of the alphabets to the answers, a runner or a representative from each group would zoom to the front table and snatch the marker to write down the answer. Aaand it's proven that I still have it in me. Yup, this gal still has her lightning speed in these fat legs of hers.
In the end I had some fun and Khalid's team won and ours were second. *shrug* We say eachother our goodbyes and then lunch.
During the 45 minutes of lunch I spent sitting around, recommencing the emo-ness and not be bothered if I die young out of starvation. I really couldn't be concerned. Only then when everyone was gone I found Sa'aadah and she accompanied to the canteen to buy foooood.
On the way to the canteen I saw Jeremy and being not in the right mind due to lack of food I waved at him like I was a lunatic out of an asylum. Yup. He looked clueless too, and he should be. HAHAHA.
Sa'aadah left me to eat alone when I was about to eat the mee goreng. Pffft. Imagine a teary-eyed teen eating alone at a corner facing the wall. HAHAHAHAH Damn, that is sooo sad an image.
Saf and Neesa wanted me to tag along to excapade for some sort of a last day term thing I DON'T KNOW I'M SPEAKING GIBBERISH NOW!!! But I declined, and only to find myself in Wardah's van when all of them combined powers and forced me to come. But heck, it was sooooo worth it.Look how evolves from hunger to hyper. :D
Haaa. This last picture amuses me so. Neesa looks like cute, perky and hyper. Hahaha reminds me of myself when I got my first bra. HAHAHAHAHA.
On the way out of excapade Fakhri wanted to surprise Neesa again as he did when we arrived. Her expression almost the same as the picture above but replace the perkiness with sheer horror. HAHAHAHAHHAHA. Oh then I bought Cornetto's. Nyum~
Went back to school and found like very few people there. I teamed up with Saf and Syaz to play can-footie against Munir, Mush and Qeelah. And we won. Then for some reason many people were in front of the library and played either Big Two or whatever card games they were playing that time. OH! And at that time out of coincidence they played one on one and.... I don't know how to explain but they were in a parallel line. They were like a gate making DL impassable to either the entrance or exit of the library. It was sooo cool.
After some long minutes of playing cards I was forced to join in the gane of Antu, where the loser would be doing a DARE. HAHAHAH once again I had the beginner's luck and Fakhri lost two times in a row which resulted to a shameless act of kissing the pillar. MUAHAHAHHAA. I love my mind at times. Then Munir lost and kissed the pillar.
Theeeen went home. Saw Jack Sparrow on the way out. Siiigh. I miss him sooooo.
Labels: daily life, last day of term
Emooo.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007 9:53 PM
Thank you Zuhri for talking me out of being emo. Although I'm not sure whether you did that on purpose or not, but heck, thank you so much. We rarely, no, never talked alone before and it's quite nice to have had that pointless conversation we had. I once promised a secret promise to myself to never shed a tear, and seeing that tears in my eyes forming around the end of Sociology class confirms that I can never fulfill a promise even to myself.Oh shit. I just remembered. Zuhri told me if it rains tonight he wants to see... my bum. And it did rain. That perv. Nu-uh I ain't gonna show em this piece of ugly meat.However I had made a promise with a special friend and I'm proud to say that I fulfilled and I miss him. Where are you now~? Are you doing okay? You have no idea how many buckets of tears I cried when I realised that I kept it. Even now, at rare times, when I couldn't bare the thought that I yet again broke a promise the promise we made I used as an excuse that it was okay, and things will be fine.I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry. I don't know why I'm saying this but I really do want to apologise to no one in general. Odd I am, I know. I hear that a lot. Pathetic aren't I?Is it possible that any one could get depressed without any reason? No reason at all. Is that possible? Or am I just tired? Hah. How can I be tired when I sleep many hours and do less work than a baby? So tell me. Just tell me if I'm tired and not depressing over nothing. Everytime when I think of any probable explanation of my previous state, my eyes would get wet and insentience plummet to the mauve fabric.Am I strange? If I am, tell me why. Tell me the why before his words would eat me up and break me down again.He couldn't stop acting so childishly maddening and... and... plain inconsiderate, thoughtless and insensitive. He's like a very very dim light bulb that its light flickering and battling to keep alive. Pfft.I don't wanna give a damn if this post offends you, man. But the many times your words pierced me through is as the many times I've forgiven you... hesitantly and after another round of your brusque talk I don't think I can forgive anymore and I'm tired of you. I'm sick because I'm tired of listening to you.Your head is just too thick to even get a simple math equation straight into that thing you have that's called the brain. Tactless you are. Am I a simple puppet that you can easily state whatever the things that's passed your head and never expect anything back. You're living a dream there, that can never happen, not in this cruel cold world.Jack Sparrow, I still worry for you except that the worry level had almost reached its peak. I'm very worried about you so much that thinking about you made it so hard for me not to... suddenly glomp comfort you. I hope you get better, since I know I don't bear the power to heal you.Maybe I'm just depressed because of you. Why? Why are you like this? Give me a hint. The vaguest if you want to. Just one to quench my curiousity. I'm begging you.Labels: daily life
you just gotta give martial arts some lovin'
Friday, August 17, 2007 7:25 PM
It started out with a feeling that has been long gone and lost. Today did. After all that, this Friday felt like ages I didn't have. I swear I hadn't had a proper rest this week and last. It felt like decades the last time I woke up late past noon. Now I feel refreshed just like this apple I just took from the fridge. :]Went online right after I showered and the house sounded so quiet. Not the peaceful type of quiet but cemetery-like. It was not one of the situations I'd like to be thrown into. Everywhere seemed to be scared and not utter a word. It's damn creepy, I tell ya.Around, well almost 3 mom wanted to go watch this Aikido demonstration at Pusat Belia by some black belts from Malaysia, Japan and some place else. Actually Dad wanted to watch it and mom only tagged along.On arriving there there wasn't a huge bustling crowd in the gym but quite a number came. There was not that many spectators at first, but that changed quickly when a crooked line of young bald army dudes marched in. I know I have a thing against these kind of men. First thing that came to mind about the military servants is that they're waayyy perverted for their own good.They came in a plenty and sat surrounding my family and I so upon looking at the stage I could see a sea of smooth round bulges. HAHAHAHA! Seriously they were bald and tall so I couldn't see much of the Aikido demonstration.It was scorching hot that my hair frizzed. GOD, everyone didn't had a comfortable time watching it with the oven hotness inside the Pusat Belia. But the demonstration was quite cool though that I might consider on taking part of it. 'Tis amazing that the beautiful grace could be so lethal... to the joints and muscles. Ouch. The thumps and thunks were really loud when the professional senseis threw the ukes around.And really when the guest of honour mentioned the three guys he'd combat with as his ukes cracked me up. HAAAAAAA~ I suppose that Zati and I could only understand the humour in that. He's the seme and the three youngens are his ukes. Yep, how interesting can martial arts can be.After that, we walked out and I bumped into Zul. He was there for his usual Wushu training, and he had a long stick in his hands. He once mentioned to me that the stick is quite useful to hit someone's ass hard to the point where he'd limp with an aching ass. HAH! Seriously, martial arts is just interesting. Period. :]]]] Stick, ass, limping. Yup. Very interesting.Then I got to watch some of the Kendo training held near the pool, and damn, I pity the trainees for wearing thick attires on such a windless, roasting day.Well I guess that's all for now.Bye-bye. Live, love, HUG. "The Universe touches you when you touch each other." HAHAHA! Fuuuck. Got that from hugdoctor.com.Labels: daily life
A mix of two utterly different emotions
Thursday, August 16, 2007 9:46 PM
Hey there,
Do you know that I'm kinda worried for you. Ever since Tuesday you seem lifeless and quiet. Quiet doesn't really apply to your arrogant attitude. Despite the fact that I didn't like it one bit, something in me kept on nagging the why you are not yourself now.
Your special ability, your sixth sense I know about it. I also know it's the Hungry Ghost Festival week, is it because of them? Is it because you see them and they see you and now kept on haunting you in your dreams?
Tell me. I don't really mind if you suddenly pop out of nowhere and talk about whatever that is bothering you. I beg you, please tell me. Whatever that has been bothering you I want to know.
That day, the last time I saw you without a sound I sense your discomfort. You didn't respond much and just did your work like any other diligent student that you are not. Hah. Oh god, don't be like this. I don't want to worry so much.
You don't know this neither did anybody else. But every day, every morning, every school day by the window I'd lean against the wall making my presence as little as possible, expecting you to pass by. Every day, every morning, every school day as more days pass, my heart thump for you harder and harder.
But now the small of your back is what I see, not your face. But I am thankful that I still see you, rather than not at all.
Now I hope to see your smile again, either devious or a sneer, I would not mind. I only wanted to see your real self again. Not the quiet reserved you. I want to see you back again even if it means I'd see your scowling face at me, glaring down at me. I don't mind as long as I see you back again.
Soo yeah. Too much emotions laden in there. With the downside done, on with the good news!
Just this afternoon, this wonderful wonderful afternoon, I saw Fray on the way to the canteen. Actually I wanted to "accidentally" bump onto him but for some reason the girl with the penis someone called out for him about his AS. I didn't mind, really. 'Cause I could see his soft fluffy hair and his height.
Haa~ I walked past him and continued my way to the canteen and bought my all time favourite drink 100 Plus. On the way, past the green notice board I saw him heading my way, but I looked soo cawiee with my wet baju kurung and tudong, all thanks to the spilt 100 Plus.
Initially I looked down, scrubbing the remnants of the isotonic drink then looked up to see him looking at me and without myself realising, I posed a smile to him. I did not expect anything back however he smiled back to me. Oh god~ I was high and on top of the waves, in the moon or whatever metaphors that could explain this joy I feel.
I had to bite my cheek to prevent myself from grinning like an idiot in front of the library and only loosing myself when I hid behind one of the pillars. I was all gushy and melty and fluttery. Ah~ I couldn't care less of what I'm typing now.
>_____________________________________< Thank you, Fray.
Labels: daily life, eyecandy excitement
O-ho-ho~ *does the horny eyebrow thing*
Tuesday, August 7, 2007 8:37 PM
Out of all other things I wanted to blog about, the first thing that came to mind was Desmond. Yes, I did blog about him before. Maybe about two posts or so? oh god just shoot me for being so obsessed of guys And so the point of this is...Desmond finally talked to me...
Okay I know I may be so saspen blogging about this. It's just that he used to be my eyecandy and after those months that's passes by he finally talked to me. Actually we didn't really talk but just merely a few exchange of words. Words that aren't really meaningful.
I don't like him. More than a friend. I don't plan onto crossing the line. However the fact that I always see him everyday even outside Maths class doesn't really help the "do not like Desmond more than a friend" mental note.
It's bad enough that I like two guys at a time. And I feel confused. But then why should I be confused? It isn't like I own them, yet. Siiigh.
So Desmond "exchanged a few words" with me. And I have to say that his BruMalay is kinda good. Better than mine, really. It's a shame to know that, but I answered back in BruMalay too.
Desmond : "Katanya jagakan barangNYA! Lagging jua anak perempuan ane!"Me : "Awuuu. Lagging bah ne, alum g makan bah! Manakan inda tetulus apa ia cakap!"
Seriously man. I was emotionally stung by his harsh words. But since he is hot and I am shallow I just forgave him. And that was the first and the last interaction we've ever had. Siiigh. Sad ain't it?
-----
Oh, and recently I noticed that Fray has been... around in my eyes. As in I've been seeing him a lot more than I did before. And gawd, he just can't be any more cuter!
Sad thing for me is that I just realised that Fray hangs out near my registration class a few days ago. Sigh. Can things get any better than that? And the answer to that is YES!! Haaa~ Ever since I've been seeing him a lot these days, whenever he passes by and glances at me he'd smile that darn cute shy smile I always catch.
Once when we bumped into each other just before EAS class, I saw him and he saw me. Actually he was plainly glancing around when he saw me. He glanced at me once then looked down. The second time he glanced up to me again and looked down with the said smile. It was too cute! His shy smile and his adorable bespectacled look that I rarely see was enough to make me happy for the whole day! HEEE~ Love love!
-----
Well that's enough of the eyecandies and on to the dailies!So during Elit we did an analysis on Night Sweats by Robert Lowell. And it wasn't much since my mind was practically high in the sky daydreaming of Fray Fray Fray and the latest eyecandy which I will call Prettyboy! Hah, I could just imagine you people roll your eyes at the "originality" of the name.And I also remember that Bahar and his Bihirian-shippers are those who I ignore in Lit class. They can be inconsiderate. Despite the misunderstandings and the troubles, they just kept on doing it. I don't really mind. But do they have to do it loudly and in front of my face??!! Damn bitches.Oh man, EAS class was the freakiest moment today. Zimah yet again got herself into trouble with her registration teacher and attending classes. And now Miss Zari listed me in her black list. She repeatedly asked me where Zimah was and I kept on answering her the vaguest I could muster at the very moment. Damn.We switched seating positions and I sat between Jeremy and Sally with Sa'aadah in front of me. Miss Zari asked one last time where Zimah was and I turned around the slowest I could get to "try freaking her out" but failed miserably. She was unflinching. Damnation.She looked rather skeptical when I answered yet another vague excuse for Zimah. O dear god. She then told me to tell Zimah that she has to come to tomorrow's class in the most threatening voice I've ever heard from her.Phewh. She realllyyy freaked me out.During break was a memory that's a blur, so was during Socio. But one thing that I realise doing during Socio was that I count the time I stay awake during the class and I broke my own record of 30 minutes awake DURING Socio class!! Hah! I was awake for 45 minutes and I didn't even force myself to keep my eyes open!PS was just like another day of PS. Boring, dull, quiet. Very quiet. And during PS I notice that I usually eat during that period and I could feel all the food going to my arms and stomach. Cehhh.Wait.I just notice that I got the chronology wrong. Todaaayyy is... Mon-- TUESDAY!! Oh god I even forgot the day today! Today is Tuesday! So there's... 2, 1, break, 5, 4... I DID get the chronology right! What the hell.So anyway, after that was LUNCH BREAK. Spent it doing, well attempting Maths homework. Gah. How I hate box plot. I don't get how you get that to be like that! So out of the three questions I finished one, which took me around 30 minutes. Oh god, I am stupid and daft!Then after that spent it with Fai, Mush, Ani, Qeel, Muai, Farhan(the YDP), Deylah, my EAS friend whose name I really don't know but damn good in debates. I hope I didn't miss out anyone. Anyway we were laughing our asses off about stuff especially the four girls and to guys were "by coincidence" struck poses much alike any other typical Korean dramas.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!! They DO look like one of DVD covers for Korean dramas! Look at it! Four girls awaiting for the guys to give them an answer.
But after that Zimah pop out of nowhere and I began to tell her of our little make-up story. But her theory was that the guy at the back is actually gay since after we secretly took the picture he walked away from the group and "emo'ed" while staring longingly at the guy at the front. HAHAHAHHA!!
Not soon after that the gay guy who's a friend of the guy at front pulls him from the group of girls and we kinda witnessed the jealous friend pulling him possesively to himself. HAH!! Coincidental much~?
Then had Maths. HOWEVER we didn't learn anything new since the teacher had the VIP meeting. So we're left to do our work, which is making a helluva ruckus.
And during that time was when Desmond interacted with me, for the first time. HAH! Why do I sound so pathetic here?
After we were bored of the things in class we packed our stuff and left the class. Went in frot of the library to tease Zimah more for being one of the handlers of the oh-so-called "automatic door". But then Karma butts in. Zimah had to go somewhere and I, who is not a prefect, ends up being one of the two people becoming the "automatic doors". Then no longer after that, the other guy prefect deserted me! CEH! So only half of the sliding doors is open.
Then took pictures of the VIP and some from the Khatam rehearsal. Both boring and dull. But the highlights from both were the good food from the library and the pretty bright yellow lights from the audi!
I've done a sin today. During the VIP meeting that's held in the library there were food in thr small classroom just near the exit. And I smuggled food outside, and ate there like a famished refugee who's never eaten food for weeks.
But I wasn't alone! Mush the prefect, Munir the prefect and Fakhri joined in the smuggling! And I'd have to say that it was worth it! The food was GOOD~
Around 4.15-ish went home. Well no. I was picked up and my mom and I went shopping. I just bought a weird article of clothes! But sexy at the same time! HAH!
Oh and I'd like to end this entry with something special. Something that happened today just before the topic of the so-called Korean DVD cover thing ever popped up in the conversation.
[EDIT]
Anis made me put down this hilarious picture of her so no laughs in this blog. Ani, you party pooper. =p
Labels: daily life, eyecandy-related, school
OMG you perv
Saturday, July 28, 2007 5:38 PM
Oh dear God. Why?! WHY???!!! How could I not notice the first place?!Now I feel so violated, dirty, used and molested.That guy... How dare he. He used my innocence and "trust" on other people against me. Wait, that came out wrong. Let's not think about my bad vocab. Point is I was sexually harrassed.Yes, I was sexually harrassed, as in a perverted guy just took advantage of his customer then feeling up her chest! Oh geez!! What the hell??!!Oh god. Today is just a bad day. A bad bad day.Firstly I was sent to the SA. Just because I skipped a class just once. Just that once wasn't really reason enough for the damned teacher to send me to the SA. Damn him.Twas then during break my mood was down in the drains, and I threw my things to the floor quite loudly which attracted a lot of queer eyes. Meh. Didn't care that time. Dragged myself to Fai, Sa'aadah, Diyana and the others then curled myself to a ball then hit my head against Fai's knee.I've just gotten the Message Slip from Miss Ernie that morning but on the slip it read that I was supposed to be meeting some random teacher two days ago. Siigh.I was curious as the others who saw the slip in my hand. We didn't know what the slip was for. We didn't know what wrongs have I done to deserve that.Then after that, I didn't have the mood to go for Maths class but I had to since... I had to. But though I did attend the class my mind was away somewhere around JaeJoong and Yunho. XDDDDDDThen the afternoon went home around 1 as I've said earlier on. Bleh.Labels: daily life, trauma
don't be misunderstood
Saturday, July 21, 2007 9:11 PM
Ah.By every passing minute my heart gradually races, thinking of the mini typhoon that'll strike the nation by large-scale. HAHAHA. Okay, I'm sorry. I lied. Not by large scale. That'd be scary.So Joanna just told me of the mini typhoon. And really, I'm nervous. A whole lot. I just hope the others knew of this and are well-prepared about it. I tried telling Zati but she kept on ignoring my IMs. Actually all the people I chatted with are ignoring my IMs. Haiyaa.Let's just hope that no one will get severe badly within the period of the destructive eye. And let's hope no homes will be demolished to rubbles.Be prepared everyone in Brunei. Keep your doors locked tightly. Screw the hinges, if you might.
I'm deathly scared now, hearing the start of the pitter patter raindrops.
*
But though I am pretty sure that I don't have Alzheimer's (since I'm not that old) I kept on forgetting today was a Saturday, and thought that today was Monday. So I kept on going to wrong classes. =.=
For example, Block 5 I went to my EAS class. Well almost. I was at the stairs when I come to realise that it was Saturday. Curse my forgetfulness. Then after break it was suppose to be Block 3 but I stayed in front of the library, thinking it was my PS. *facepalm* I can be so stupid.
I really don't know what's with me today. Usually when I forget a block, I'd instantly remember about it and go to the right class of the respected block. But now, I'm not sure.
*
Since this morning till now I had been so unbearably thristy. Every minute I'd be thirsty. What's wrong with my body today? A forgetful mind, a thirsty throat, imbalancedness. Yes there were times I lost my balance about five times.
There is something wrong with me. I need a check-up. But I don't want to tell my mom.
*
Zimah had been disappearing from time to time. I wonder what she's doing during that time. There has to be some problems. Well if she doesn't want to share and wants to keep it to herself, I won't interfere. It's her decision, not mine.
*
Joanna's birthday's coming up in 5 days~ YAAYY!! Actually I don't have any idea what to get her. Ah darn.
*
I knew that there were some good-hearted people living inside this wretched world! The "plan" finally went as planned. Thank you, Juzai. I finally got to watch em. But what bothers me till now is I think the misunderstanding. Oh god geez. I just hope he didn't think otherwise. >.<
But overall 'twas good. He was good. Except for the fact that everyone could've been roasted inside the gym. Plus the girl in charge was being a bitch harshly telling people off to shut the damn door. Yep, she's destined to be a bitch.
Labels: daily life
Secret Garden - Gackt
Friday, July 13, 2007 8:54 PM
Everytime I listen to any Gackt's song, I feel so moved despite the fact I don't really understand a single Japanese word.His voice is just enough for me break in tears. A waterfall of tears cascading down my face shamelessly.Gackt deserves to be called the King of JRock. His songs, his voice and the lyrics to the songs he wrote are enough to send my soul to be in a whirlpool of emotions and drown in the situation. That way I feel most relaxed.Currently I'm listening to one of his many good singles, Secret Garden, and I resisted my eyes from letting tears fall. Oh god, his voice sends involuntary shivers down my spine.Right now I wanted to express my love towards Gackt and his Jrock music, but since I need to keep things at the very least decent if not professional I write this with all my emotions imprinted with it. Every single syllable written down here are all my emotions, feelings and thoughts. Though 'tis hard I need to practice to keep myself intact from going berserk thus scaring away you readers.O-ho. Some of you might think As if another fangirl can scare me away. Well maybe yes I couldn't but there are times when I get a bit too hyper to the point where this girl I was chatting with practically ran away from her laptop-- well okay not her laptop but her cousins since at first I was chatting with her cousin before her - and my friend(the cousin) told me that I scared her away and I was the first fangirl to ever scare the bloody wits out of her.(Y) Ain't that cool?Hahaha. I know that's not something to be proud of but really, it's better than nothing no?*HAHAHAHHAHAHA I saw this post from an LJ comm and I'd have to ask myself whether Japanese are crazy when it comes to fandom! 'cause I mean really, if you saw A HOT AND FAMOUS celebrity walking down the pathway of a public market what would you do?Well my answer would most probably be harrassing coming up to him and do whatever my cracked brain might think of at the very moment.
Here is Pi a.k.a Yamashita Tomohisa~ The second love of my life! HAHAHAHHA exaggerating much?
And check that bod, man. It's what every girl would die for touching it.
>_____<>
Anyway don't you think it's rather odd that the people didn't seem to care that a hot, talented, delish, famous actor/singer is starkly in front of them and didn't react as any fangirl would do? Don't you think that's just crazy! HAHA!
Imagine this : Your mom asked you if you'd accompany her going to the market but you declined, saying that the market is stinky. Then after she came back you asked, "So was there anything good in the market today?" She answered, "Oh nothing much, just this." And she took out her phone and showed you a picture of Yamapi in a singlet!!
LOL. I would die regretting I didn't go with her! >__________________________<
Labels: as normal and okay-ish as can be, contented, daily life, fangirling
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