Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008 7:18 PM
Don't defriend me once I say this. Don't hate me if I say this. But flames I can take because they're fun to read.
ESUK INDA RAYAAAAA! HAHAHA yay! I betcha most of y'all would be groaning and cursing under your breath because of the news. Devastated are you?
Oh, don't mind me being spiteful. It's fun. You should try it once in a while. Nope, I'm not acting like this because of the scorching heat radiated from within my room - by reasons I'm not sure of - and I am not acting like this because I feel that there are remainders of senseless, brainless, tactless beings still continue to exist and roam in this world. Nope. Not that. I'm acting spiteful because I want to. Mind you, being evil and not happy is hard work. It's like charity work where you don't have to receive anything but just to give, though you exist to piss people off.
In that kind of mind set I think therefore I am giving charity.
Do you.. ph33r me? Disgusting ain't I?
Well. I'm sorry. But hey, let me remind you again, tomorrow's not the start of Eid in our part of the world. Boo hoo.
Feel frustrated? Good. I'm happy. (:
Till then kids, don't pick your nose. Especially not just hours or minutes before breaking your fast. It not only makes you look disgusting and stupid, it makes you labelled as stupid.
Lastly, the word supposably is not a word fyi. Can you process that into your thick skull?
---
I'm sorry about that. I just.. felt like it. And I.. I'm sorry. Those dark feelings are usually kept inside. But it festers and I explode. Sorry sorry.
Thank you for that tangent. Back to cosine and sine.
And no, I'm no girlie girl.
Anyway! Bullet time!
- Doc told me I should start drinking milk. That was srzlay.. not something I wanted to hear. So I reasoned her out of it. But backfired saying that my lactoseintolerance is all in my head. =/
- Watching Maou and it is destroying my soul.. stylishly. Because it's Maou. It's evil and delicious.
- Cuculs are up and draping in front of the porch like colourful seaweed blinking at a romantic pace. AND I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF. Okay, maybe with dad's, brother's and cousin's help.
- I smell smoke. Y'know those kind of smell after you burnt stacks of useless papers which afterwards you realise are your precious collection of UTOPIA mags.`
- This bullet thing is addictive.(fixed it!)
- I just want y'all to know that.
- But, okay, okay, I am done, and to wrap it up!
Dear idiots outside my window,
It is not raya yet or the fourth of July. Those fireworks had better be for something good or some kid's birthday or I will shove the loud, explosive manifestations of your festivity into your spleen and leave you bleeding red, green, and blue on the sidewalk.
Kthxbai :-*,
Me and my fully-loaded pistol.
/ps
Longest post I remember writing. I is proud! My socks feel rocked.
And if there's anymore typos and the likes.. don't hesitate leaving a "tag of concern".
I'm sorry you've got the wrong number.
Saturday, September 27, 2008 12:38 PM
There's that news coming out regarding the melamine contamination in most - or all - products imported from China.The whole of Africa, Asia and Europe had banned and recalled all milk products from China. And now this year they're growing more alert after the milk scandal, they found more products to be contaminated with melamine.Aw man. That musta suck for their economy. It's bad enough that the number of those who doesn't have jobs is.. wow.I admit that when I first heard it I thought wtf so what melanin kali ah, makin itam kulit biar tia. But it's actually melamin, so.. yeah. Pffft, in order to make the protein content seem high. You're killing thousands here and all you think of is your business. WTF? Despicable beings. A;LSHF;LASHLSAG GRRRRH!!And I received an email of the list of melamine contaminated products, and for once I'd like to say HAH! I told you it's not a bad thing to not like Vitasoy.Other than Vitasoy.There's.. Dove the shampoo? We don't consume shampoo. WTH. OH THAT CHOCOLATE?! NOOOOO I LOVE IT! Aw poop.Dutch Lady. First Choice. Ginbis. Kraft. OREO(;ASKDGH;KSADHD). M&M. Meiji. Mentos. Nestle. Those.. uh.. whaddyacallit white rabbit milk sweet thing? Snickers.By the way those names I listed weren't detailed because I'm lazy to type the specific items.Nyearrh this post is ugly.
Jalousy: Jealousy while riding in a jalopy
Friday, September 26, 2008 12:35 PM
A little somethin' to do before the familia go to KB. Besides it's such a waste to put this post under dust.Answer these questions with only a photo or other graphic, NO words allowed. The pictures when uploaded were all mixed up and I was too lazy to rearrange them according to the questions, so the questions are all songsang(sp?) too.
1. What did you do on a Sunday?
2. What is your favourite network TV show?3. Describe yourself.
4. What is your favourite candy?
5. What is your favourite band/singer?6. What is your current mood?
7. What's your current relationship status? 
8. What kind of pets do you have?
9. What is your favourite movie?
10. Who do you look like?
11. Where do you work?
n/a
12. Where do you live?
13. What is your favourite movie?
n/a
14. What do you drive?
n/a
15. What did you do on a Saturday?
Boring aren't I? Feel free to play along (:
And by the way, it's a bit late but congratulations to Jirah for winning category 'B'. I just flipped through old newspaper until I saw a familiar tabam-ness. (: Congrats, cuz'. And a belated birthday to the other cousin who also doesn't know I exist in the same college as he goes to.
Few pictures for some questions are missing. So will get back to that later.
He who lives his live for nothing other than money is simply a whore of the system.
Thursday, September 25, 2008 1:44 PM
to.
Nurul 'Izzati Haji Nordin
Happy birthday Zati!
I hope the text was good enough. Mind you, I was feelin' pretty high that time hence the spastic birthday greet. Haha.
This post will most definitely be edited to be nicer and longer. Screw English right now 'cause I feel like my whole body is against every biological system in it. My back hurts when I lie down. It feels like something is weighted down on my chest and it hurts, duh. My stomach feels funky. And my jaw -- I think my jaw slightly moved from its original position but it doesn't bother me the slightest bit. Well not yet.
For now I will fly off to.. wherever-else-land!
*wingardium leviosa*
[pixie dust for dramatic effect]
Labels: birthday
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode
Friday, September 19, 2008 8:57 PM
Yeah, I had sungkai out with Azim.
I thought it was going to be fun, seeing that it was his birthday today and all.
Sweet god.
vksajdjfsdkl I hate it when karma happens. Well, that was fun exercise in sobbing my eyes out and wishing for the dark comfort of death. I never thought I'd live the day when sending my own relative would be this heartcrushing and soul destroying I want to run under the rain and pour tears of overwhelming despair.
Labih tia.
Then, because I wanted to cheer myself up before he steps in that door (hissss), THAT WENT WELL. The worst kind of goodbye conversations took place..
Me: Weh, have you watched Jackie Beat punya video? Haha, yang pasal big balls.
Azim: (weak smile) Yeah. Ada ko watch Texas Ranger? Atu wah, babu just had a slashy realisation.
Me: OMFG apeh? I haven't watched it!
Azim: It went like this Walker and Trivette shared a "manly heterosexual" grin.
--
Azim: You know, they definitely had something going on the side.
A's mom: Dul! They're Texas rangers!
Azim: Yeah, I know, they're Texas rangers.
A's mom: ....
A's mom: ......
A's mom:
A's mom: ..you know, when Walker first met him he was in a little tiny speedo.
Azim: (incoherency)
A's mom: (growing excitement) And they're always together, and --
Azim: (incoherency)
A's mom: Seriously, it was a little tiny speedo. It had a buldge.
Azim: Maybe Walker took him over a pool bench right then and there.
A's mom: Oh my god. (awed) Oh my god, Walker's girlfriend has no idea.
--
Me: (in pain in attempt to muffle laughter) Shit!! (muffled laughter) Minjam eh the DVD -- CD -- WHATEVER!
Azim: Inda buuuleh~
Me: Next year can?
Azim: ...I can't. I'll be staying there for three years.
Honestly, I felt.. betrayed in a way. He lures me in with supposedly gay rednecks and his mom's inner gay coming out, then SLAMS ME INTO A BRICK WALL OF ANGST OVER AND OVER UNTIL I'M A RAGDOLL LIMP WITH DESOLATION AND DESPAIR.
Jim, you ass. Happy birthday nonetheless. You're growing old so try to grow up as well.
p.s. Just want to clarify that Azim's not a homo, but is into them. Just like me. I'm as interested in lesbians as much as I do with ghei, but it doesn't make me one of the LGTBs. I'm sure some of you idolise someone of the same sex a tad too much.. right? D:/:D?
Current mood: 
MY OWN TEARS. Get your mind out of the gutter! Grab mine while you're there, please.
Thursday, September 18, 2008 3:32 PM
To Zimah: Yeah, I know this is kinda late but I'm finally done. Better late than never kan?To Zati: ...Dude, I hope you score better in this one because if you do not.. *mengasah kapak*To my cousin, Ipih: *stares* Whoa, you've grown woman! You almost look like Bungsu Jitun, only shorter! You didn't show me your kid! D:So here's the new one, made to be more sensible and of real facts.
Create your own Friend Test hereI know I just posted yesterday but this test had to be made. And I have a feeling I might have fun sobbing my eyes out and wishing for the dark comforts of death tomorrow. That was an exaggeration - okay the last bit is.
Mark my words.
Current mood: 
asd;lfhslkdfj
I care for you too much
Wednesday, September 17, 2008 3:53 PM
I woke up and found myself looking up to see the tiled floor, turns out that I slept upside down and one of my arms dangled on the floor, the other stuck in the gap between the mattress and the floor.
I had two dreams - two messed up dreams.
----
but in the meanwhile I just want to say that Azim is bittthh. He's leaving for AU on his fugging birthday! What the hell man?! Iiish. I didn't get to see you weeks before, when you flew back to Brunei. And now you're leaving me without a word!
You, me, sungkai out. Please? With a cherry on top, or else I'll hurt.. your cats. You don't know how much I mith you, man. ;___; And you have no idea how much I want to hurt you right now.
----
anyway, I'll edit this later when I'm not really feeling depressed and angry at a certain someone. (glares at Azim)
Speacial skeel: thyping
Tuesday, September 16, 2008 9:07 PM
For the past two days I've done the true friends test off of Anis' blog and Zee's. So now I just thought of making my own too. Don't worry I won't de-friend you if you get less than 50%.. or will I?I kid.
Create your own Friend Test here Actually I couldn't give a care about making a real test, so I did a test just to screw with your heads. Try it. I'ma give you like a week or so then I'll put it down 'cause this test is lame.
Pffft testing who's your true friends. What a laugh!
Remember, 24th that thing is down the gutters. I just want to see who would headdesk themselves, and I cry in your phailz.
DUN DUN DUUUNNNN.
I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.
Saturday, September 13, 2008 7:23 PM
A-up me duck youfs!It's an absolutely nice feeling to be appreciated and thanked for the littlest things you've done, for a friend.*sways to Love Like Oxygen*Thanks that was fun but don't forget, no regrets - except maybe one. Made a deal not to feel.God, that's dumb.Sound of Your Voice
I let you down and fell right off of your good listI hope each day you find peace and forgivenessThe alarm clock rings, what a lonely noiseAnd I long for ...Cheers, and you're welcome.@edited; 14th Sept."Consider yourself highfived. Remember me.. when you shave your legs."Oh my god, want.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Thursday, September 11, 2008 3:10 PM
Everything was vivid to me - right from day one I met them. Listening to their voices synchronising sent me to tears of joy. That was one year ago, when I first knew of DBSK. And now this.. I'm crying much harder because their voices absolutely took my breath away.They're called SHINee(pronounced 'shiny'). So young, so handsome, so... MMMM~I'm not kidding. At first I'd thought they were just another fresh boyband so I took no hhed of them. But just yesterday I listened to them to give a chance. A;LSDGA;DLSHG They're THAT good!Their debut was not long ago, and now here they appear with a whole new shiny album made of pure awesome. I recommend this to those who're open to language differences, RnB, hip hop, or anyone interested to melt in your headphones.The album - SHINee Vol. 1 The SHINee World - not only unraveled the knot, it handcuffed it, bent it over a table and made it cry daddy. Definitely going in my top ten kmusic.I am proud to say that I will not be called pedo since the boys are aged within 16-18 but their voices made my heart flutter. I'm in love~I will not rest until you listen to them!Take it or I will throw sliced lemons to your eyes:D :D :D :D too happy for words
RANT POST RANT POST RANT POST
Tuesday, September 9, 2008 1:09 PM
Join in the new game that's sweeping the country. It's called "Bureaucracy". Everybody stands in a circle. The first person to do anything loses.Neesa told me about something near-to politics and my face was disgusted and scowling. But then that could be my imagination that I did.Before I go any further, I'd like to warn you that this'll be a rant post. Filled with nothing interesting or even related to your not-boring life.RANT POST RANT POST RANT POST - TO BEGIN NOW!To put it delicately it'd be that I've been less "coloured". I'm sorry for worrying you people, but I'm completely fine to begin with.I'm sorry for yelling. On the phone, spitting out incoherent cusses and wails. Haha you might not have heard it Zatty but on the phone I was also banging my head against my window. HEGEGE it's a good thing my forehead isn't temasuk or anything.I'm also sorry for yelling again. When IM-ing with Fakhri. Angry for no solid reason is stupid of me. Sorry for acting all pissed four days three nights ago. Sorry for not being an eligible - if not most - bachlorette. If only you could see me roll my eyes right now. I'm sorry I couldn't chop the onions and potatoes properly. Hahah plus about how your clam chowder didn't taste as good that day. <:pI'm sorry for pretending to be a complete oblivious sack of old potatoes.I'm sorry for not being to able to be.I'm sorry I couldn't get the right halal chocolates.And everything else I would mention but couldn't remember most.Lastly I'm not sure whether this is something worth apologising for, but I'm sorry for the past few "deep" posts. I like angst. Therefore my penmanship reflects who I am, and I say it with much hesitation.END OF RANTI might put up some photoshopped pictures soon - pictures of 6th last week. Because the colour and other factors really bothers me. But then I might not post them up.Hmph. This is why I don't like blogging with no topics in my head. Everything random finds their way on the drafts - being ugly, un-neat and all. I'm a sad sop who needs to entertain her days with colour pens. Call me crazy but looking at the stars sends me to fits of giggles and laughter.Oh oh I've developed a new collection! COLOURFUL STRAWS! HAHAHAHAHAHA currently have four of them - green, yellow, pink and blue!So I've collected fridge magnets, hair clips, straws, beads(from broken bracelets =_="), bracelets, keychains and something else I can't quite remember. Ohh I'm liking polka dots now! Because they're cute!Speaking of polka dots, I might paint one little wall in my room near my toilet lime green with little cute-sized colurful polka dots! :D :D :D HAHAHAH I feel girrrlly.Don't laugh at me, man. I like colourful stuffs as much as your little sister would!Ohhh also also I might purchase *something* HEGEGE but you shan't know now, since it ain't confirmed yet.I LIKE COLOURFUL BUTTONS! :DAh darn it I should shut it. I blame the sudden confessions to hungerrrr, because of hungerrr I am hyperrrr. hahaha it rhymes omg coolness! blond much!i saw these clocks which were uber cool! But they both cost nearly two grand! EACH! haiyaa.i like pens. i like post-it notes. i like dots. i like straws. i like kah-me-rahs. i like ... --ohmeghad i do not have a dirty crush on anyone zatty! Not that person who lent me their white shirt! not that person!I am so sorry for writing like that. It's ugly. But at the very least I feel happy now! I shall end this ugly rant post and go downstairs to poke my brother's kena sengat penyangat eyelid. Because I am the older sister! >:)Labels: hesitating very much to publish
You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything.
Sunday, September 7, 2008 12:54 PM
My feet are cold, but the coldness is harsher when they meet the tiles. My whole body is cold, but the scorching heat is unbearable to others. I am not sick however. Everything I touch and feel are cold to my senses. It could be of fasting without sahur, it could be of fasting without eating yesterday's sungkai and today's sahur. But I'm not fasting because I can't, still.- - -The room is empty like you are.
You came in looking for an answer to a question, but you realise now that it was never a question. It was merely a statement you have always wanted to confess.
You don’t need an answer, you need him.
Alone, sitting against a wall, you think that if you had swallowed your pride, as bitter as it was, got down on your knees and begged him not to go, maybe, just maybe --
You drum fingers against the wall before turning to face it.
You cup your hands around your mouth and whisper to it (not a secret, a declaration), I still love you, you confess. The words you should have said. You get onto your knees, and raise your voice. I still love you, you say, and it’s not a question.
You press your lips against the wall (not a kiss goodbye, never that), and his face flickers into view behind your eyelids then dulls like a dying flame.
The wall tastes like loss, abandonment and the slow gradual rusting of a heart.
Well.. that was decent for something written in less than half an hour. It felt different too, since it's the first to be inspired from real life experience. Uhuh I lack life.
I'll be going now because my tolerance towards dizziness might take its toll, and I might edit this post when ... I'm not feeling dizzy and weak, or I want to.
I is strong. I can take it - be it heartcrushing and whatnot. I can live through this smoothly.
I miss London - that place where no one knows who you are and where you can be whoever you want to be.
le pretty chandelier, ground floor of the old people's apartment we stayed in
second floor, near the stairs of Dickens' house.
those were 7-8 days of our breakfast and supper, and we lived through it without a grumbling stomach. :D I looove the instant noodle cup - the BIG blue/green one!
just outside our window. In the early morn', and the snow prettily(vocab of mah wurld, let me show you it) flew.
Don't y'all love lomo? I'm loving the lomography~
Labels: pictures
It wasn't my fault there's gravity - I voted for velcro
Saturday, September 6, 2008 2:26 PM
Life does not require us to be consistent, cruel, patient, helpful, angry, rational, thoughtless, loving, rash, open-minded, neurotic, careful, rigid, tolerant, wasteful, rich, downtrodden, gentle, sick, considerate, funny, stupid, healthy, greedy, beautiful, lazy, responsive, foolish, sharing, presured, intimate, hedonistic, industrious, manipulative, insightful, capricious, wise, selfish, kind or sacrificed. Life does, however, require us to live with the consequences of our choices.A major rule you forgot, Roles. Every game we play, we slip into a role, a game identity with which to play. We decide we're rescuer, victim, leader-with-all-the-answers, follower-without-a-clue, bright, brave, honorable, crafty, dull, helpless, just-trying-to-get-along, diabolical, easygoing, pitiable, earnest, careless, salt-of-the-earth, puppetmaster, comic, hero... we choose our role by whim and destiny, and we can change it anytime we want.We wait all these years to find someone who understands us, I thought, someone who accepts us as we are, someone with a wizard's power to melt stone to sunlight, who can bring us happiness in spite of trials, who can face our dragons in the night, who can transform us into the soul we choose to be. Just this afternoon I found that magical Someone is the face we see in the mirror. It's us and our homemade masks.It is by not always thinking of yourself, if you can manage it, that you might somehow be happy. Until you make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and lost...Apparently I can't make it to Wardah's, because my mom said no. Meh. And I just received a text saying that there'll be nasi goreng cornbeef! Instead we celebrated my brother's belated birthday! With thick chocolate cake(which Aqil had chose to buy)! AND SOTO! But I ... didn't.. eat anything.Haiyaa, my mom never told about celebrating his birthday. Selalunya bagitau nya aku dulu. Apaniiii geng :( haha who the heck calls their mom "geng"
Anyway! Bullet time! 
4. What is your favourite candy?
7. What's your current relationship status?
9. What is your favourite movie?
le pretty chandelier, ground floor of the old people's apartment we stayed in
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