you innards have a pleasant aftertaste.
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PROFILE ►
I cried "corn beef" in a demonic voice in front of people I'd just met. If that tells you anything about me...
Other than that, the name is Nabilah Johari who goes by her days embarrassing friends with her shameless antics.
Sometimes the best man for the job is a woman.


I don't usually do book recs, but meganbmoore pointed my attention to the YA fantasy novel Graceling, by Kristin Cashore, and I am UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH IT. The heroine is a sharp, sarcastic, bad-mannered supernaturally-gifted teenage assassin, and the entire book is like this:


“I’m not going to wear a red dress,” she said.

“It’s the color of sunrise,” Helda said.

“It’s the color of blood,” Katsa said.

Sighing, Helda carried the dress from the bathing room. “It would look stunning, My Lady,” she called, “with your dark hair and your eyes.”

Katsa yanked at one of the more stubborn knots in her hair. She spoke to the bubbles gathered on the surface of the water. “If there’s anyone I wish to stun at dinner, I’ll hit him in the face.”


And that is exactly what she does to her love interest. It's how they bond. They beat the shit out of each other, laughing. It's a game. It's their playtime. He's a funny, observant prince who is completely unconcerned by the fact she's faster, stronger, and more capable:

When she came back minutes later with a great, fat, skinned rabbit, Po had built a fire. The flames cast orange light on the horses and on himself. “It was the least I could do,” Po said, drily, “and I see you’ve already skinned that hare. I’m beginning to think I won’t have much responsibility as we travel through the forest together.”

“Does it bother you? You’re welcome to do the hunting yourself. Perhaps I can stay by the fire and mend your socks, and scream if I hear any strange noises.”


One of Katsa's sore spots is that she doesn't want to get married, or have children:
If she took Po as her husband, she would be making promises about a future she couldn’t yet see. For once she became his wife, she would be his wife forever. And, no matter how much freedom Po gave her, she would always know that it was a gift. Her freedom would not be her own; it would be Po’s to give or to withhold. That he never would withhold it made no difference. If it did not come from her, it was not really hers.


Even when they finally get together, she doesn't change her mind, and he doesn't want her to. They become lovers and partners, trekking through blizzards and defying kings and TAKING ON GODDAMN ARMIES, and at the end of everything Katsa does not get married and become his princess -- instead she starts a worldwide effort to teach girls how to swordfight. How fucking awesome is that shit?

I should know better than to read Amazon reviews, though. "Po was a spineless doormat!" "He loved her so much! And she refused to marry him! That was bad writing." a;lfs;djlfl;jkfl;dfjsdf


I've been neglecting my blog, yes, I'm completely aware of that. But won't you hop on the happy bandwagon with your beloved blogger? No? Okay. Po can just fuck your shit up. Po! Po Po Po. (No, for some obvious reason I cannot take his name seriously.) BUT YOU'D GET USED TO IT. I SWEAR. His real name is Greening Grandemalion. YOU WOULD CALL YOURSELF PO TOO.


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