Special translation
Friday, August 31, 2007 12:46 PM
I know I should've asked permission to get this translation posted here but I just couldn't get in contact with the person who made the translation. So I will credit them after the translation.And because of this, it made me cry and made me love Youngwoong JaeJoong more.Long time ago, somewhere in Korea, a 15 year old boy bid goodbye to the city that had raised him, he gathered up a few pieces of luggage, said goodbye to 8 sisters and 2 parents who loves him deeply, he got on the train to Seoul, his family cried at the sight of his back walking away, the boy heard his loved ones crying for him, but he was afraid to look back, because he knew if he looked back, he wouldn’t have the heart to leave, but he didn’t want to throw away his dream, plus he didn’t want his family to see his tears. Just like that, with a very thin jacket in a freezing winter, for the sake of his dream, the boy left his home town for the first time in 15 years, to a big city he’s only seen in his dreams.Finally, the train has stopped, the boy got off of the train, as he looked at this strange yet fancy city and all its glory, busy streets, limelights, he’s never seen anything like this before. He felt his heart grow weak because it was so overwhelming. Really.. can he really find his place in a city like this? The boy hesitated, his faith was shaken.But, the dream he has in his heart can’t die, if he just goes home like this, he’ll never forgive himself for being such a weak coward, so, without any help or anyone, the boy found himself an apartment the size of a tuna can.. and call it home.SM Entertainment, the biggest music entertainment company held its second singing contest, the boy went, in the lobby, he saw so many other boys are that just like him, hoping to get picked through his contest so they can be on their way to a great singer, all the boys were well dressed, they were wearing the hippest clothes, with high-end mp3 players in their ears as they practice. The boy looked down on his plain grey tshirt and jeans, he felt like he has already lost half of the battle.He was contestant number 12, he walked into the audition room, there sits 5 stone cold expressionless judges, he was a nervous, until a judge asked him to open his mouth and sing.Just like that, his voice touched everyone in the room, that voice, was by the far the purest, the softest they’ve heard, when you listen to his voice, you can’t help but feel this sadness and tons of emotions, but even so, you want to continue to listen to his voice, forever and forever, just be loss in the sound of his voice. But still, his voice was too soft, too weak.The reason the boy won the contest because he has a flawless face, perfect skin, long eyelashes, delicate features that are even prettier than a girl’s, big watery eyes, pouty lips, and that white as snow skin. They said his face was born to be in the entertainment business.He got signed by SM, with a 7 year contract, two years of training, he has to pay for all of his music, dancing and other classes. The next five years he would actually become an entertainer, seeing himself that much closer to his dream, the boy signed the contract, knowning in the next two years, his life will be extremely hard, hard like he’s never experienced before, but he knows this is his dream, so he can not give up.So he begun those two grueling years, he knew his family isn’t well off, so he’s never asked his parents for a penny, everyday he jumped in between 3 different jobs, when everyone else was still sleeping, the printer will drop off a stack of newspaper that are as heavy as he is, he would ride an old bike and deliver those newspapers door by door. In the afternoon he would jump from construction site to construction doing temporary work, that gorgeous face is being covered those pounds of cement and dirt, he had to suppress his beautiful voice because he wanted to be liked by his superior. After his music lessons early afternoon, in order to save a few dollars, he walks 3 hours to his waitressing job at a restaurant, he quietly does his job, quietly takes on everything a 15 year shouldn’t. quietly doing everything he can to get through these two rough years. All for the day he will be surrounded by bright lights.The boy did everything he could, but he still couldn’t manage three meals a day, every time he gets his salary, the first he does is pays for his lessons, even if the left over isn’t nearly enough for him to eat or buy any clothes. Finally one day, the boy realized he didn’t have any money left for food, he had been starving for two days, his weak body shouldn’t even be walking, but with the pressure of he has to pay for his classes, he still went to work. That night, when he was cleaning a table at the restaurant, he saw a customer has left more than half bowl of his noodle soup, it was still hot, he couldn’t take the hunger anymore, his hands were shaking.. he picked up a spoon and started to eat the left over noodles.. huh. He wonders why it starts to taste so salty.. then he realized it was his tears.. has dropped down in the bowl w/o him realizing.One the day, the boy got sick, he was running a high fever, he laid in his tiny little apartment for three straight days, thank god he already paid for his lessons, but he’s short 3 days worth of pay, so once again, the boy dragged his fragile body, walked three hours to his restaurant job.On the way back, he saw a blood donating booth, his stomach growled at him, the boy once again did something he didn’t want to.. he walked inside.. after an hour, he came out with a few bills in his hand, dragged his lifeless body into a store and bought the cheapest pack of cracker there is.Finally, he got through these two years, he was chosen to be in a group of five, the company have announced that this is going to be one of the best group of all times. Even though the five boys are very different, but the company believe that together, they will be perfect. The boys thought he was so lucky to be chosen in such a group, at the same time, being the oldest, he got four younger “brothers” who adores him.When they put out their first EP, even though there are only two songs on there, they topped the charts in Korea, also broke the fact that EP doesn’t sell well in Korea, the boy finally got a taste of success, as he sees more and more fan letters everyday, he knew everything in the past two years was worth it.But nothing’s perfect, good times are always short, it’s cruel actually. The first time they held their fan meeting, the people that came were fans of other members, watching lines of fans lined up in front of other members, there’s not even a single soul in front of him self, he wanted to scream and cry, The crew members didn’t want to make things weird, so they dragged a few fans in front of the boy. The boy held his sadness, starting talk to the female fan girl. But the fan girl coldly threw him “ I was forced to stand in your line, I don’t even like you”.. his heart was shattered again. But he didn’t cry, he rather bit his lip and let it bleed, but he doesn’t want to cry in front of anyone. Esp himself. The boy didn’t know why the fan didn’t like him, but what he doesn’t know is that his fans were still waiting outside the building b/c the meeting room was full.. their hearts were shattering along with his.Once he found out online that it’s not that others don’t like him nor he did anything wrong, but because he’s just too pretty.. even the girls are jealous.. reading this silly gibberish, the boy chuckled. He never gave up, everyday he puts on his sincere smiley face to public, hoping and praying that others will see him for who he really is, hear his voice. But the harder he try the more pressure he felt. Whenever he makes a mistake during performances, it makes him nervous, because he’s scared that others will dislike him even more b/c of it. So little by little. The boy stopped smiling in front of the camera, watching his every action and words.But because of it, the fans were chatting he’s pretending to be too cool, so the company should consider switching him out.. he was seriously scared, he didn’t want leave this place that was practically his 2nd home, but he understand that he’s just a "body" that makes money for the company, if the consumers are tired of this body, then the company must switch the body out for new one.He didn’t get switched, he found out that his fans roamed the streets in his honor for days, begging the company to keep him in the group. Also, the maknae of the group, changmin, despite what the manager forbids him to do, begged in front of the camera, that if the company takes the boy away, he will tear up his contract and go back to being a high school student.The boy cried, he knows that everyone in this group has a passion for music, Changmin the youngest, just like him, has gone through hardship to get to where he is today. The boy cherished everything he has even more, he begins to practice harder and harder, to thank his fans, also he wanted to show his best to his fans that loves him. During concerts, the boy always looks around in the audience, the director said that looks funny when he sings, the boy said it’s better for the singer to stare at one particular spot when he sings, but he can’t do that, because he wants to see the face of every single fan out there, even if the picture captured of him was ugly, he doesn’t care.Once during dance practice, the boy fell.. he thought it was normal to fall when dancing. But this time he couldn’t get back, his knees was hurting like crazy, he balled up and started shaking in the corner of the room, the leader, Yunho, w/o saying a word, carried the boy on his back and took him to the nearest hospital, at the split second that the emergency room door was closing, the boy saw four familiar figures on the other side of the door. Worrying for him, praying for him.The doctor said his right knee is pretty much gone, he needs surgery asap and it’s a major surgery so he needs to rest for a long time post-op, but the boy refused, the 2nd day after his surgery, he arrived at the Seoul Olympic stadium with the rest of the members, like his schedule, he met with his fans, before the meeting, Yunho was by his side all the time, didn’t leave his side for even a second. During the fan meet, they asked what does Changmin want for new years, Changmin’s answer “ I wish for hyung to get better soon”.The boy hates crying, he looked down, tried his hardest not to let his tears fall, he finally looked at the fans, he saw them crying for him, his heart was breaking, he picked the microphone and said “ I’m not hurting at all, really, please don’t cry for me, let’s face each other with smiles, please?” this is the first the boy has lied to everyone, it was within 24 hours of his surgery, how can it not hurt? But he toughed it out, for the love he has for his fans.He finally recovered, he celebrated with his friends, on the drive home, he was pulled over by the police for drinking and driving, Yunho came to pick him up at the police station w/o a word, but the boy knew he has disappointed Yunho and others.The boy was kept in silence by the company for two weeks, he knows that this is actually the lightest punishment for his foolish actions, and he knew his member have begged the company many many times, so that he’s not going to get kicked out. Because of it. He insisted in the next fan meet, he will apologize to everyone. That was the first time the boy has shed tears in front of his fans, .. when his fans said that they forgive him and they still love him.The boy started to get more and more popular, people started seeing him for more than just a gorgeous face, he’s a passionate musician with a beautiful voice and he’s a brave soul who isn’t afraid to face his mistakes. Three simple words “ we forgive you “ from the fans gave him all the faith he needed to carry on.This boy, is Kim JaeJoong, a member of the hottest group in Korea. DBSK. The company gave him the stage of name of YounWoon Hero JaeJoong. So whenever the boy wants to cry, he reminds himself he can’t.. because he’s Hero JaeJoong and a Hero doesn’t cry.. a hero will fight 'til the end and win the battle.Once a DBSK fan said that the first time she saw JaeJoong, she thought his name couldn’t possibly be Hero because it didn’t suit his fragile image, but she knows now why his name is Hero, because underneath his beauty, lies the soul of a true hero.Purely fictional, really. Although there are some facts of his past here, like JaeJoong did live a life of a poor young street boy with no educationa and only a dream. It's just a dramatic way of describing his life.And this one below is an extra bonus translation and I do have respect and salute to Yunho very much other than the time he stood up for his fan who was accused of stealing. *salutes* *cries* I love you, Yunho!Bonus translation : Yunho's top 10 most unforgettable moments.
1. 2004 DBSK got into a car accident. A sedan hit DBSK’s van, the driver was pronounced dead on the spot, the van was completely crushed, each member was hurt in different ways. Yunho’s neck was very injured.
2. 2005, Nov 18 to 19th, he was running schedules non stop. The minute the camera shuts down, he fainted.
3. 2006, before his concert, his wrist was injured, but he removed the cast for the sake of the performance, during the performance he was bleeding, but he kept on singing. After the performance his hand was completely swollen.
4. 2006, march, barely 20 years old, fainted due to dehydration. His stomach isn’t strong, members always stick little reminder notes in his pocket reminding him to eat. Whenever he was trying to care for other members, they would say “ you should be the one resting right now”.. they flew between Korea and Japan every week.
5. For the sake of having a better pitch when he sings and a better, more mature image, he got procelin veneers on his teeth, PV needs to be changed every 10 years, he has gone through numerous discomfort and pain after his procedure. May of 2006, because he was in such pain (his teeth), he was rushed to the hospital right after his performance one night. June, he experienced eve more pain because of it, he could barely eat, his face was so swollen he had to start wearing a mask
6. 2006, July. Concert in Malaysia, knowning his fans have waited forever for him, he gave a perfect performance that fooled everyone, no one could tell that he was trying all his might to hold the pain that was caused by dislocation of his ankles. He insisted on performing for his fans, he had to be carried out after the performance. That performance caused him to be away for one month so he can rest.
7. 2006, October, around 10pm. Something horrible happened, emergency room, different hospitals, cleaning and pumping out his stomach. The suspect has turned herself in. Yunho said “ she’s about my age, I have a sister, so I hope she will receive forgiveness. As for me. No worries. I’m fine. I’m sorry I’ve made you guys worry”
8. At an award ceremony, all the members were crying their eyes out, Yunho stayed strong, he held his tear in, he smiled, he kept thanking everyone, but backstage, he shed more tears than the rest of the members combined.
9. At another award ceremony, everyone could tell his eyes were watery and red, but once again, held in it. He bit his fingers.
10. The famous 18 continuous bow. After the MBC dance battle special, he was sick, but he held himself together for the show, backstage, he bowled to every single performer and crew members, the fans captured the total number of times he bowed. 18 times.
Credits to I Like Jelly @ Soompi + Baidubar
Labels: DBSK, Jaejoong, Yunho
one by one they go
Thursday, August 30, 2007 8:40 PM
I've lost some control of myself three days ago and the lid to the gourd somehow had gotten loose, revealing bits of what I wasn't supposed to show in public. I'm sorry that I scared you guys but Aniii brought it up and well, it happened suddenly. Them other than them had known the jist of what went wrong but whatever. I'll just leave it at that.
Oh and thank you to you guys who had, purposely or not, distracted me from my current problem. 'Twas fun.
- - - - -
People had come and go, our friends who were once there now gone, for the goodness of their future. Who are we to stop them from letting them earn a good life? If we love them that much we would choose to let them go to pursue to their future and take a step higher than where we are. I mean, we are friends. Even I'd die sacrificing anything to let my closest friends explore what is hidden within her. I would do anything for them. Even if it means I should sell my soul to the very Lord of Darkness himself.
And no, I am not a sentimental but however feeling sentimental. I hope that answered half your question.
A friend of ours left for UK to study at Oxford's not so many hours ago. I didn't had a chance to say my goodbyes, and I sorta feel slightly... uh... how do you say this, uneven? Imbalanced? I just don't feel right.
Without saying a final farewell it would leave this feeling that you might see that person the next day, no? Or am I the only one feeling this way? My mindset is a little different than any other people. I'm an oddball and people know that very well. So if I had said my last goodbye most probably this uneasiness would never be here in the first place.
Well, Deylah, even if you don't know I own this blog or even I had a blog, that would not stop me from saying this final farewell.
Hello Deylah, you know actually I just knew of you leaving us when Anis mentioned it in her blog and I feel bad not saying goodbye or even a simple hug would do. I've only known you for only... three years. Simply seen you around school and exchange mere Hellos and nods.
But now that the number of STPRIans in MD had been narrowed down also many had separated due to their timetables, many of us had stuck with our own kind and somehow in one point bonded us more.
You looked lonely during the few months in MD, until you've finally hung around them Anis, Muai, Qeelah and others. I hang around with them at times so we did talk for a bit. But I'm one who takes in every moment and not forgetting everything, albeit I do forget things most of the times but I know those memories had been shoved into a deeper side of my mind and will only pop out to the surface out of the blues.
But anyway, the last time I saw you was during the closing ceremony of Pesta Sukan. You cut your hair! I thought you were... Okay, let's go past that now. Oh and congratulations on being together with Farhan the YDP himself. Haaaah. Congratz, babe. ;D
And now finally I want to say sorry if I've ever wronged you in any way. Offended you, maybe? 'Cause I know I can be ignorantly blunt with words and actions. If it makes you any better I'll give you bribe money stuff to let the ugly past be there. Also I wish you lots and lots of luck in Oxford. I hope you'll do well there.
When you're there, don't you try forgetting us here okay? *sniff* Oh dear God. I'm tearing up writing this. Ngah. I'm a lameass. *headdesk* Oh and visit us some time too.
Moving on to the very very last bit, fare thee well friend. I hope to meet ya in the near future. I know I've said this whole thing to be the last goodbye but try not making it as one. We'll dearly miss you.
You chose this path, you better not mess it up. Who knows whether one small mistake could mess up your future. Haa. I know that sounds so farfetched, but what the hell.
Back straight, chins up and smile up.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007 5:24 PM
Happy birthday Zatty~!
I'm sorry that I didn't greet ya earlier, but it's never to late no? Hmm, I wonder how old you are now that never crossed my mind though. If you've turned 18, it won't hurt to give some of us a ride huh? xDD
Ngah. Seeing Jack Sparrow walking with another girl during his PS just crumbles the remaining piece of my poor little heart. I remember a friend telling me that he once saw JS with another girl. But then it was expected, really. After many times of the same occurence happened, I got used to it. Sigh. Whatever. I'll just focus my eyes on JaeJoong, Junsu, Yoochun, Yunho and Changmin.
Oh in Sociology class we've ended with research methods and moved on to race and ethnicity and surprisingly I understood plus concentrate more than I used to be. YAY.
Then one of us had a surprising breakdown. It's very worrying. I mean tears poured out like water from a big jug. It just didn't end. Hope you're okay, man. I feel bad for not be able to help you since you've helped me a lot when I was... in that state.
I feel bad. Really.
my eyes as it is rimmed in red
Sunday, August 26, 2007 7:56 PM
There were times when I disliked your actions and that will only cease after a day. But just two days ago you and her wanted to talk to me, you said things at your usual rude trying-too-hard-to-be-cold-but-you-simply-suck-at-it voice, while she just sat there like an idiot staring quietly at you then me then you, only to come up with the things you already said. She's just repeating you, and I find that very annoying and I find her stupid.I didn't want to hurt you further even though I am fully aware that my lies were evident in my words. I feigned a smug smile, looking at you and held back my tears as long as possible. At the corner of my eye I saw her glaring down at me as I faked that sneer.You don't know my inner turmoil as you spat at me, only attempting to think of Jaeho to calm myself from snapping back at you and hit the bloody face of yours senselessly. You have no idea how crazy I can get when I crack. You have no idea how much blood trickled as I clenched my fist tightly. You just don't have any idea, at all. Because you never seem to care.You're not aware that as I type this my eyes are filled with tears that's been begging to fall. I lied sprawled on the floor not caring about the tears that's been rolling down into the blackness of my hair. You made me feel guilty.Then the next day, you abruptly cut off what I ought to call as my life support. You deliberately tried to kill me. I snapped again. And you broke me. I wailed and screamed without a sound with tears that never seem to stop by my own will until my eyes were rimmed in red. I hadn't slept til dawn.Just kill me, I know you want to. Kill me now so I won't have to suffer more.And I loathe you to the very core of my heart. Blood means nothing to me, in any sense. You're just bloodthirsty, but you don't want it either.
Pesta Sukan
4:58 PM
The Sports festival thing in the outdoor stadium was fun. Prior going on the bus, some of the AJKs of photography club - Syaz, Jerold, Zatil, Mira and I - tagged behind Zazu minutes before we went to our buses with our respected BEs. An impromptu meeting, strutted up and down from the dining hall to the Admin block to get Cg Munah's signature of approval for our EPs.And we found out that Cg Munah can make lame jokes too puns. Hah. But I have to say that her pun was good, really. Lame but good.So we had used the time the other students used to get energized and their attendance taken for getting all prepared for the EPs and whatnot, therein we didn't have time to eat only a mere 5 minutes to eat before we were set to go. Siiigh. Nonetheless it was fun walking around and earning a sprained ankle during the process. I've been having a lot of sprained ankles accidents this year. More accident-prone, as Sammy calls it. :DIn the bus, us of BE10 were combined with those of BE9 and Jeremy was in the bus with us and coincidentally he sat beside me. HAH. Then we had a nice chat. We insulted the one or two prefects who sat behind us chattering around at their loudest and lewdly and also paedophilic in the most subtle way we could in English.Haaahahaha. Thanks Jeremy for making the journey entertaining. And yes, NOW you know why "some Malay girls are afraid of some Malay guys"! xDDDD Shit, man. I love your black humour!Stayed with Jeremy for a while until he decided to ditch the place. HAH. I love this man's guts. I would've wanted to if Jack Sparrow wasn't there. And Mira, please, I am soooo not in love with him. I just think I'm falling for him, but I'm not quite sure about that too. But one thing's for sure was that us from Ph club didn't sit down from the time we arrived till the closure of the whole ceremony. Phewh!And that is why I didn't manage to blog about yesterday yesterday. But then... there were other reasons too personal that it might break me again.I had my moments with Jack Sparrow around, quite short moments though. I don't mind that but what I do mind and will hit myself again is the fact that I so fucken missed my fricken chance to watch him all wet under the pouring rain, with rainwater trickling down his face to his chin, his nose and his... liipppssssss. All drenched in all mighty power of sexiness of the heavy rain! Oh RAWR! xDD Oh damn I'm feeling horny! Haaaaa~ This part should not be viewed by underaged children.I... am calm... and I am... not fangirling. Need to remain calm. Need to stop thinking of Jack's chest rising and falling as he heaved in the humid air and his deep dark orbs scanned around and not to forget how wet hair that sticks to a man's neck could be so sexy. Damn, yo.Too bad that he had to go down to get covered. But still nonetheless the remaining ranwater still continued to trickle down from his hair so the sheer sexiness still remains. :DIt rained twice but the second time he didn't choose to stand under the rain. Ceh. Too bad. This gets me thinking whether he has other "secret admirers" excluding me. He has got to have other rabid fangirls secret admirers! That sexiness is not there for nothing ya know!Okay enough for Jack Sparrow's hotness and moving on to the story. Oh yeah, there were other hot guys too. Like when Zazu, Syaz, Adib and I went down to the field but couldn't since it rained and the sports event was temporarily held back till the rain subsides, as we passed by I caught seeing some... few hot guys there. Very few. But they were too young for meeee. Some were young but at least they were taller than me.Back to the genuine story, Zazu being the president and held the responsibilty of his other minions slaves comrades he soon found out that we were lost. We couldn't go back up. The path we used earlier ago was impassable due to the rain. But eventually after a few failed attempts we finally found the stairs. Then we took more pictures~The second time it rained we were moved to Gate 2 where there was the roof thing. And by then all of us we drained and almost lifeless so us from Ph club didn't take much photos of the closure. The sky grew grey as the rain won't stop, then when everything was put to an end we were to go to find MD's buses.Unfortunately for Mira, Jerold, some two random guys and two girls and me we were lost. We couldn't find the bus at all. We walked around half of the stadium and another half again searching for the damned buses. However eventually we did and by then I thought fate hates us since the MD buses were full and I sprained the muscles around my thigh after some... fangirling incident. Yes, I finally saw Jack Sparrow wholly wet dripping everywhere and simply hot slash sexy. HAAAAAAAA~Then Mira and I got to a bus which was nearly full and had Zimah and her new gang with us. So along the way us who were at the back of the bus almost had our stomachs bursting out the insides cackling and laughing at their lame jokes. Yup, that was a good closure for the day. But too bad I forgot most of their names though; I could only remember Zul wushu Zul, Zul PGGMB & Nuar and the other two's names cannot I remember.Haaah. Then I fell asleep after I got home. Dead. Like a log. Or something more dead than a log. A carcass? Naah. I'll leave it at that. BYE!
SATAKUKIDA
Friday, August 24, 2007 9:21 PM
Haaaaah.Cookie Day's tomorrow and most of the GDL girls are baking em. Zimah baked a fricken 1000 cookies, Wardah baked some fricken 400 cookies, Zils baked too and is competing with Wardah who bakes more! Izni baked too!Aiiiiiiii~ Hearing all that makes feel so little! Sure, I baked. But it's only a little sum of it! >____<The only reason I stopped making more is lest of some food-poison-turn-massacre if I continue to make more. Ceeehhh. I'm a hopeless baker! I bake baaaad, but cook fair enough.But DUDE, the thought of them baking lots more cookies than the sum I made at such ease is just... depressing!EDITSorry I got some things wrong. Wardah and Zimah baked 1000 cookies altogether!
[FICLET] Jaeho UNTITLED
Thursday, August 23, 2007 8:08 PM
Damn. It's been a long while since I've last written anything. Well, anything that's not against my will and for my own entertainment and yadaa yadaa.Firstly, it is yet again a... yaoi-ish, shounenai-ish fic. Plus this is a new fandom and pairing I'm making. JAEHO of DBSK. *prances around*And as always I suck at thinking up for titles thus I'm leaving this one once again, titleless.Title : (untitled)Genre : A mixture of angst and fluffPairing : JaehoSummary : Jaejoong's knee injury has created an inner turmoil within himself. When he felt the walls of his world crashing down, the other members was there to keep them up. One-shot.He watched, consumed in regret and bitter hatred for himself in the shadows. The man who had been chosen to replace him danced in sync with the others, playing his role as part of the team. One half of his face was painted white, the other black, in an attempt to symbolize the co-existence of teamwork like the ying yang.
“Dong Bang Shin Ki can not be broken so easily.” Yunho had voiced in determination at one of their press interviews.
Jaejoong had believed him for a while but bickering arose among the members, verbal and at times, almost physical fights on disagreements of performance changes, and who was going to cover Jaejoong’s part. He had sat silently, eyes downcast, his throat working to voice the words that he didn’t want to say out loud.
Please don’t fight because of me.
His knee throbbed, a dull reminder that he had been standing too long.
They don’t need me. He thought to himself as he watched them perform flawlessly.
He was tired. A mental anguish that had consumed his mind was slowly consuming his heart.
As if sensing his thoughts, Yunho glanced over his shoulder in his direction before sliding into the final steps of the song. The audience automatically reacted in a thunderous applause. Fangirls sobbed in joy, their voices straining as they continued to scream shrilly.
The group gazed on, eyes blinded as the bright spotlight shone onto them before slowly dimming. Jaejoong smiled slightly, seeing the slight tremor in their tired limbs, their shoulders heaving as they collected their breath, and the sweat coating their face and neck.
They put their souls into their performances.
Slowly, he moved away toward backstage for the dark solitude it provided. In mid step, the energy suddenly rushed out of him and his knee buckled. Jaejoong clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, dreading the pain that would follow once he hit the floor.
Strong hands grabbed him, one on each arm and two around his waist.
“Hyung!” Four voices cried out in unison and Jaejoong stiffened in shock, eyes snapping open to see Changmin look up worriedly from the floor. His hands were outreached, just below his knee to cushion his impact if he happened to hit the ground.
The hands around his waist moved across his stomach, circling as he was pulled upwards into a warm chest. He looked from side to side where Junsu and Yoochun were standing as they released his arms and knew automatically that Yunho was embracing him.
“The audience…” Jaejoong croaked. He cleared his throat before trying again, composing his voice to be calm. “The audience is calling you.”
“Hyung, the audience is calling us.” Yoochun corrected.
Jaejoong blinked and felt Yunho’s chin rest on his shoulder, his arms tightened a bit in reassurance before loosening slightly.
“Us?” Jaejoong repeated. The four members exchanged exasperated looks.
“Yes, Hyung.” Junsu said, cheerfully.
“Do you need your crutches?” Changmin asked, looking around for them.
“Crutches?” Jaejoong repeated in confusion. “Oh no, I don’t need them.”
“Are you sure?” Yunho’s quiet voice next to his ear startled him and he knew the taller man had felt him jump. “It’s okay.”
Jaejoong knew he wasn’t referring to his crutches but rather his internal struggle.
That dancer is only temporary. We can’t exist without you.
Everyone’s eyes were on him, recognizing him and his flaws.
You’re not a burden.
Accidents can happen.
No one is perfect.
Learn to lean on us a little.
Smiling brightly, Jaejoong let out a joyful laugh that made everyone backstage turn to look at them.
“Let’s go before they scream themselves into a heart attack.” Jaejoong joked. Yunho loosened his arms slowly and stepped back, grabbing his hand. Their fingers entwined unhurriedly as they moved back onto the stage.
Dong Bang!
Dong Bang!
Dong Bang!
“Sorry to keep you waiting!” Yoochun called out while grinning into his microphone. “We had a small incident backstage.”
“What kind of incident?” Junsu asked, in mock confusion as he turned to Micky.
“Oh, our leader had a problem keeping his hands to himself.” Yoochun sighed.
“Hey! I thought that was my job.” Junsu complained.
The audience erupted in approving screams.
“Please don’t take them seriously.” Changmin commented. Yoochun and Junsu glanced over at him in amusement.
“Yunho-sshi, why are you holding hands with Jaejoong-sshi?” Yoochun remarked as if finally noticing the two of them.
Like the ying yang whose light and darkness can not exist without the other…
…Dong Bang Shin Ki can not exist without Youngwoong Jaejoong.
“Why?” Yunho met his gaze with warm eyes. “It’s because I want to.”Labels: angsty, fanfiction, fluff, Jaeho
Tuesday, August 21, 2007 10:50 PM
Oh god. Supernaatuuraalll~
How can a Father be so hot~?? HAHAHHAA.
And god, Sammy how cute can you be??
S : "So there's no such thing as unicorns?"
D :"Heh. Cute."
Oh the brotherly looove~
I know this one is pretty random and useless~ But hell.
yeah I slapped ya. so?
6:30 PM
Okay I want to say one thing to get it out of my chest.She thought that I had a relationship with him. O_____________________OOh wow. That really lifted a whole of the weight off my chest. *wipes off the beads of sweat* I'm so sorry, girl. I knew that there was something wrong with what I told you. I just knew it. I wanted to tell you but you kinda... sorta... seem to be... always cutting off my lines, girl. I didn't wanna be rude but you just... kept on talking and asking and theorizing and... asking a wholuva questions.So if you know about me bloggieh, I'd wanna say I, unfortunately, am not in a relationship with him! >______<I'm sorry!For the first time this year I've been able to skip the goddamned subject Sociology without being ticked as escaped. Since Block 2 till Block 1 my nose had been blocked and usually in a case of bad flu either one of my eyes, depends on which nostril is blocked, would hurt like hell. Barely could open my eyes without feeling the sting. It's just a bad day for me okay?Plus I forgot to bring my contacts to school! Neither did I bring my glasses! I usually wear them contacts in school. So I was partially blind for the day. I had to squint my eyes so hard to get one single word outta the too-damned white of a whiteboard. And the teacher's handwriting just had to be so darn ant-sized.But hey, at least the incident with the guy I worry for after Block 1 cheered me up. He was so goddamned close to my back. I remember feeling dizzy during that. Hah, now I feel my heart flutter.So I've spent two whole hours inside the sickbay on the stiff bed, sleeping soundly but thankgod I didn't drool on the pillow xDDD with a slightly blocked nose, cuddling to nothing under the warmth of the blue blanket. I wasn't the only one inside the room, there was another girl too.From the looks of it, she had some sort of stomach pains. She stayed till lunch like me. I had the bed, she didn't, so she had to sleep on the ore stiff chair. I feel kinda bad letting her sleep on the chair directly in the current of the aircon. Oh well....I know I suck in the test. 'Cause I know. If you have a blocked plus runny nose which during a test which requires some concentration and focus. Fuck. Screw the test. Or at least give me some mercy Miss Yongggg... A makeup test would be nice too. =]Maths was... okay. And that's all I'm gonna say about afternoon's class.SO there was some shocking incident, well to them not for me, and I guess this'll cover up the crapiness I just wrote above.There was the prefect meeting this afternoon, and Zimah just had to act pessimistically and confidently said that she will be demoted. While the prefects had that, the others had either gone home or spread around the college or just stayed in front of the library. And I spent the time with my cousin and YeePing.Hours later or less I couldn't keep track of time because I'm a total loser in reading analogues the prefects finally came out, one by one and two by two they showed up. Finally Zimah came with Wardah and Mush.She looked so frustrated and sad that time so I figured what she's been pessismistically said came true. Tried to comfort her and yadaa yadaa. Talked with other prefects but I felt so kepo being the only non-prefect/MP in the whole conversation.Then out of nowhere Zimah pulled me near to the exit of the library, fishing out something out her pocket. Turns out that that damned woman wasn't demoted and I was worried like an over protective mother. And you know what I did to her~? XDDI slapped her in the face. FOUR times. FOUURR. Two on the right and another two on her left. HARD in the face. But it was meant to be playful though. And light. But for some reason, as said by her, I hit her too hard.Well Zimah I have my reasons why I slapped you. But thank me for not slapping you across the face, since I had restrained a lot of strength from hitting your face across the front of the library, man. HAHAHA. But I'm sort of regretful though.So on to the first slap, I slapped you because...You fricken made me worry so much that I feel as though I'm an old woman or more likely as though a mother.Second slap is because...You fricken lied to me, dammit. And during a critical moment lagitu! Siiigh.Third slap is for...You making meAnd lastly the fourth slap is...for no reason at all, really. Since I know I won't feel at ease leaving it at three and need to make things even. I just couldn't leave it at three okay? I know I'm weird! >____<Yes, don't mess with me, man. HAHAHA. But I'm still sorry okay?Oh yeah, good luck Dean! xDDD I hope you'll make it to the student exchange! I wanted to be in it you know! Oh and thanks for the cake. And thank you for being the first fanboy of DBSK I've ever met. HUAHUAHUA And now I'm in the process of making him a fanboy of Gackt!I know I have a charm of manipulating people to be fans of whichever. I've made Zati a fan of KAT-TUN, NewS, a bit of Ya-Ya-Yah and almost a fan of DBSK. I've made Joanna a crazy fan of DBSK. Basically I know how to spread the loooove.
The King and the Clown is a must-watch!
Sunday, August 19, 2007 11:15 PM
I wanted to come up with a flowery sentence to explain my state right now but I don't wanna give a fuck. To simply put it, I'm damn fucken lethargic, and crantakerous if I might add. All thanks to the Udin's Family Reunion in Dewan Suarah, Miri.
Once again my SLR let me down. I seriously suck in indoor photography, in exclusion of conceptual photography - like macro for instance. And with the use of my SLR, the colour suuuucked big time. GOD, it frustrates me seeing the greenish colour of people's skin in my camera. It's a miracle that I haven't died, bludgeoning my head to the nearest wall. So now my wish to own the Nikon D40X burns more fiery than the huge bonfire we had that time. Feel the untamed raw will I emit, you scumbags!!
Er, huh. Went overboard there. *slaps self*
So I awake around 5 and we left home at 6, roughly. There wasn't much during the drive except that I've spent the two hours watching The King and the Clown. And DAMN, did it make me bawl senseless in the car with two full snot-filled nostrils, sniffing ever once in a while.
Therein I soo recommend you to watch this movie! REALLY! The story is just, so... *starts snivelling* It's so touching that I can't help to describe the despondence and all that in a well reformed review. Everytime I think of it, I cry. Just like how I am right now, and listening to a sad song does not help the situation.
So, please, watch The King and the Clown. PLEASE. And so we can form a circle and cry with each other.
Upon arriving Miri, my eyes hurt terribly due to all the crying and mind you that the silent weeping in the car started around the first few minutes of the movie then turned to wild sobs just before the climax. DAMN!! >.< I love Lee Jun Ki.
He potrayed as a androgynous-looking pretty bumpkin boy and a jester. And was once in a while pimped off to some perverted lustful men. Oh god. Jun Kiiii~ Noooo!
See that! I can't make a good review if I'm still riled up about the uber sad and emotional movie. But I have to say that this movie is quite extraordinary since it's modestly featured, with a cast of no A-list performers. Quite anticipated by many who knew last year when it was unleashed to the world. Oh geez, I hate a few in there for being so-- *shuts up*
Anyyywayyy... my cousins noticed my red puffy eyes and I told them about the movie and they seem very very interested. I hope they wail like how I did in the morning.
We arrived to the Dewan Suarah and I have to say, I'm relatively blessed to have some number of sizzling hot next of kins. Hah. I couldn't help to control myself from not gawking at their fair skin and flawless hair. And those lips. And the bridge of their nose. Oh yes, nose and lips turns me on, baby. Especially straight noses and rubious pouty soft lips. *groans*
HAHAHA! Oh dear, I've made this entry somewhat horny nose-and-lips fetish'ed lustful. Why am I cursed/blessed with such weird fetish?
Okay, okay, okay. Rewind and delete what you remembered of what I've written.
To the real story we go, the reunion thing was a huge bore at first and it only heated up after lunch. The seniors danced the Long Dance while wearing weird hats and nice colurful glittery jackets. I want one, really. It looks... nice. Yup, it was at the very least entertaining to see how flushed the seniors looked dancing shamelessly. And I am aware that it sounds rude.
And then another entertaining thing was, while I was taking pictures in the dim-lit hall there was one Chinese guy around 19 or 20 at most, approached me and talked to me in Chinese. I paused looking at him, smiling. He was cutttee, man. Another one of my long lost cousins and another one of those who look dashing. Yup, I am blessed. But really, do I look Chinese to you? I merely wore T's and jeans, nothing frilly or too short.
HAHAHA. I really hated to break the news to him that I could not understand a single word coming out of his pretty red pouty soft-looking lips that I had tempted to touch so most. *groans* O_____O *slaps self* What the fuck is wrong with my hormones??
I said "Um, I'm not what you think I am." I smiled.
He didn't get what I was implying at first 'cause what I said sounded so suspicious. So he asked me in English "Are you a guy?" O_______________O OUCH. Do I fucken look like a dude? But then again, a pretty dude with boobs and uneven bodily curves. Is that a good thing or bad?
We were standing at the side of the stage so my cousins and mom saw what went on then I was at loss for words, man. He thought that I was a guy disguising as a girl. HAHAHA. At day I am called Nabilah however at night I am known as Nabil. Okay, not funny. But it'd sound hilarious when said in Malay.
"But I'm a girl. And I'm Malay." I said to that hot cousin of mine. It took him a while to register it in his mind when he only uttered a long "Oh". That was so cute, man. The uber cuteness practically killed the CUTENESS chart. Accordingly, those were the only appealing incident today. Right when one of the seniors karaoked, I slump down to an empty chair and fell asleep for a few something minutes.
We headed towards Parkson soon after we left the building and shopped. And surprisingly for me I shopped too. I bought clothes and such. Then had lunch in KFC at Boulevard. I didn't like it there 'cause they totally botched-up the pepper in THE MASHED POTATO. God, they SOILED the goodness of MASHED POTATO.
Mashed potato rules all potato, next to Cheezy Wedges. That KFC branch should be sued! They soiled the taste! the heavenly taste that could make me moan in pleasure and make me horny. Not only the pepper in the mashed potato was sullied, it also tasted bland! Ugh. Then I ended up not finishing it. Oh the wretchedness!
My family, cousins and I shopped again, for a few hours then called it a day.
Aqil gotten sick. Well actually he was sick since yesterday but he kept on vomitting when we got to the Brunei immigration. He then slept throughout the journey back home besides, he was weak after vomitting. Then we got around Gadong at 8.45PM and arrived home at 9.
The time I stepped foot into my room, I switched on the lights and flopped to my bed and snored silently in my sleep. Mom kept on pestering me and my bro to shower, and I was the last. I showered for a usual 30 minutes. Then got dressed and slept more and now here I am typing for another stupid meaningless entry for the blog. :D
Well it's 1.20AM right now so I gotta jet. Ah fuck, I haven't even done any of my homeworks. Fuck.
football can be a gay sport too
Saturday, August 18, 2007 10:08 PM
Well, well, well who knew that warmups before a footie match could be so hot. And at times, very gay. HAHAHA! The final match of the MD League started around 3.30 at the field. It's a pity that I only came to know about the finals today as I would have brought me SLR to school. But I only sat at the most front concrete seat which was so hot that it could have cooked my ass, by then.During the warmup the guys from Bio hold onto eachother's hands and... formed a circle. Yeah, and I thought football was supposed to be a manly sport. But noooo, they made a circle and twirled around!Okay I was only kidding and obviously exaggerating the gaiety there.Back to the story, I'm not really a footie fan and I didn't root for either teams so I only supported whichever team that's leading, and which was Bio. Hanze was just a group of aimless and gormless players acting sans a strategy in mind. A shake of the head for you, Hanzes.While I was still there, Bio led on with 2 - 0. Quite good for a simple college football team. And I thought Muizo, Mudz, Yush and the other Hanzes were good players but was proven wrong. They dissapoint me.Okay, putting aside the football stuff while I was alone sitting and I kept on looking at the back in hopes of seeing anyone I know so I wouldn't feel awkward being the only girl sitting in a circle of guys. However I saw him who I worry for. And oh DEAR god, he looked so radiant in light beige. I envy his fair skin. But I couldn't care less for he looked better. He was himself now, just a tad bit though.He talked with his friends, all smiling and such, sitting at the upper row. I was slightly taken aback when I saw him there and I was more taken aback when he sat three seats from me with his friends, later. Not long after that I found him sitting a row behind me! Damn, that man moves real fast. But hey at least I'm happy. He was so near that I could touch him if I reached out my hand.*slaps self* Nab, snap out of it! Phewh, needed that.Till now I coudn't get over the fact that the guy I worry for was so close! >____<If I come back to reality, the situation I was in was quite scary in my point of view. When Munir left at 3.50 I was left sitting alone and groups of guys surrounded me. Back, front, side and side. I was cornered. Damn.But thank goodness none of them were hot minus the guy I worry for and if there was by any chance that God wanted me to die early, hot guys instead of sweaty scowling men surrounding me I'd die and gone to Bishie heaven.I went up alone, I'm sorry Fakhri for not telling you 'cause it didn't really cross my mind to tell ya I went, and my bag was the only thing in front of the library. Haiyyaa. But thankGOD that there was still some people around.During that time I saw him. Another him, not Fray or the guy I worry for but him. I figured that he might be staying back late for the Cambridge Uni talk. He didn't notice me who was at the RC relishing the coolness of the wind.No sooner then, mom came to pick me up. We went to check out Palm Garden Hotel and the Fitness Zone and both buildings are quite... tasteful. Quite nice. If it were not that the hotel is located in an almost secluded place in Kiulap, I'd think that the hotel would receive much better response.I liked it. Especially the pool. It's been a long time I haven't gone to one.Tomorrow I'll be waking up before the sun even peeks onto the horizon. Gaahh. We're going to some family reunion in Miri and the thing starts at 9. Meh. So I'm planning on bringing my laptop and watch either The King and the Clown or 1942.I love DBSK's remake of The King and the Clown~ Jaejoong as Notsu is the most hilarious slash adorable part of roleplay ever known. HAHAHA They way he tripped on the hem of his gown thing and pushed the "Emperor" off his footing and they all fall like dominos. Ahh~ I wanna watch that remake again.And so I shall leave you to this. See ya. Cheerio. Sayonara. Bye.Gaaah. I'm not even sleepy and I need to sleep!
you just gotta give martial arts some lovin'
Friday, August 17, 2007 7:25 PM
It started out with a feeling that has been long gone and lost. Today did. After all that, this Friday felt like ages I didn't have. I swear I hadn't had a proper rest this week and last. It felt like decades the last time I woke up late past noon. Now I feel refreshed just like this apple I just took from the fridge. :]Went online right after I showered and the house sounded so quiet. Not the peaceful type of quiet but cemetery-like. It was not one of the situations I'd like to be thrown into. Everywhere seemed to be scared and not utter a word. It's damn creepy, I tell ya.Around, well almost 3 mom wanted to go watch this Aikido demonstration at Pusat Belia by some black belts from Malaysia, Japan and some place else. Actually Dad wanted to watch it and mom only tagged along.On arriving there there wasn't a huge bustling crowd in the gym but quite a number came. There was not that many spectators at first, but that changed quickly when a crooked line of young bald army dudes marched in. I know I have a thing against these kind of men. First thing that came to mind about the military servants is that they're waayyy perverted for their own good.They came in a plenty and sat surrounding my family and I so upon looking at the stage I could see a sea of smooth round bulges. HAHAHAHA! Seriously they were bald and tall so I couldn't see much of the Aikido demonstration.It was scorching hot that my hair frizzed. GOD, everyone didn't had a comfortable time watching it with the oven hotness inside the Pusat Belia. But the demonstration was quite cool though that I might consider on taking part of it. 'Tis amazing that the beautiful grace could be so lethal... to the joints and muscles. Ouch. The thumps and thunks were really loud when the professional senseis threw the ukes around.And really when the guest of honour mentioned the three guys he'd combat with as his ukes cracked me up. HAAAAAAA~ I suppose that Zati and I could only understand the humour in that. He's the seme and the three youngens are his ukes. Yep, how interesting can martial arts can be.After that, we walked out and I bumped into Zul. He was there for his usual Wushu training, and he had a long stick in his hands. He once mentioned to me that the stick is quite useful to hit someone's ass hard to the point where he'd limp with an aching ass. HAH! Seriously, martial arts is just interesting. Period. :]]]] Stick, ass, limping. Yup. Very interesting.Then I got to watch some of the Kendo training held near the pool, and damn, I pity the trainees for wearing thick attires on such a windless, roasting day.Well I guess that's all for now.Bye-bye. Live, love, HUG. "The Universe touches you when you touch each other." HAHAHA! Fuuuck. Got that from hugdoctor.com.Labels: daily life
A mix of two utterly different emotions
Thursday, August 16, 2007 9:46 PM
Hey there,
Do you know that I'm kinda worried for you. Ever since Tuesday you seem lifeless and quiet. Quiet doesn't really apply to your arrogant attitude. Despite the fact that I didn't like it one bit, something in me kept on nagging the why you are not yourself now.
Your special ability, your sixth sense I know about it. I also know it's the Hungry Ghost Festival week, is it because of them? Is it because you see them and they see you and now kept on haunting you in your dreams?
Tell me. I don't really mind if you suddenly pop out of nowhere and talk about whatever that is bothering you. I beg you, please tell me. Whatever that has been bothering you I want to know.
That day, the last time I saw you without a sound I sense your discomfort. You didn't respond much and just did your work like any other diligent student that you are not. Hah. Oh god, don't be like this. I don't want to worry so much.
You don't know this neither did anybody else. But every day, every morning, every school day by the window I'd lean against the wall making my presence as little as possible, expecting you to pass by. Every day, every morning, every school day as more days pass, my heart thump for you harder and harder.
But now the small of your back is what I see, not your face. But I am thankful that I still see you, rather than not at all.
Now I hope to see your smile again, either devious or a sneer, I would not mind. I only wanted to see your real self again. Not the quiet reserved you. I want to see you back again even if it means I'd see your scowling face at me, glaring down at me. I don't mind as long as I see you back again.
Soo yeah. Too much emotions laden in there. With the downside done, on with the good news!
Just this afternoon, this wonderful wonderful afternoon, I saw Fray on the way to the canteen. Actually I wanted to "accidentally" bump onto him but for some reason the girl with the penis someone called out for him about his AS. I didn't mind, really. 'Cause I could see his soft fluffy hair and his height.
Haa~ I walked past him and continued my way to the canteen and bought my all time favourite drink 100 Plus. On the way, past the green notice board I saw him heading my way, but I looked soo cawiee with my wet baju kurung and tudong, all thanks to the spilt 100 Plus.
Initially I looked down, scrubbing the remnants of the isotonic drink then looked up to see him looking at me and without myself realising, I posed a smile to him. I did not expect anything back however he smiled back to me. Oh god~ I was high and on top of the waves, in the moon or whatever metaphors that could explain this joy I feel.
I had to bite my cheek to prevent myself from grinning like an idiot in front of the library and only loosing myself when I hid behind one of the pillars. I was all gushy and melty and fluttery. Ah~ I couldn't care less of what I'm typing now.
>_____________________________________< Thank you, Fray.
Labels: daily life, eyecandy excitement
Pretty much meaningless
Sunday, August 12, 2007 12:27 AM
Right now I'm blogging with my phone and I just knew how limited the fonts are, sadly.
But anyway, wanted to tell that it's 4 hours before I wake up and get ready for the Gua Niah trip.
Just now around an hour ago my eyes and nose hurt so much. I thought I wouldn't be able to go to the trip. :'p
But after another hour of warming myself by hiding under the warmth of my blue Tweety blanket I am recovering.
All I need is your warmth. Hahaha. Ew. Well I guess that's all. And I need my sleep or else I wouldn't be able to wake up at 4.
[QUIZ] DBSK romantic date
Wednesday, August 8, 2007 7:33 PM
[QUIZ] The DBSK boyfriend quiz
7:30 PM
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