People don't change, they lie.
Blog! I've been neglecting you, sorry! Life just got really busy all of a sudden. (Perhaps most embarrassing is that my reaction to the sudden craziness wasn't "oh, my social life!" but "I AM FALLING BEHIND ON ALL MY DRAMAS, WHY, WHYYY").
Anyway, here comes another drama season! I'm amused to see the cross-dressing heroines from last season have grown up. This time it's all about middle-aged women and the wide variety of ways they become BAMFs. (I should mention that this is just about jdramas. I know we're all swingers for other countries now, but am in the middle of rediscovering jdramas)
- A housewife as mysterious problem solver
- A housewife who is secretly a spy
- A housewife becoming a detective
- An heiress becoming a detective
- A flight attendant becoming a bounty hunter
Apparently the theme for this season is "bitches getting ALL shit done." I APPROVE.
And now for something completely depressing!
As of late, I've picked up a disturbance in the force... and an obliquely directed hate-fest on me. There are a lot of things I could say about these things, but what consistently bowls me over is how hilariously belated they are, and "you" become a codename. But firstly I admit severing all ties with the closest of people sans warning is harsh and too abrupt... and plain stupid. I have no real explanation, just that I've been in a slump in general. I don't know! I keep trying things and find myself swirled into mild depression. Due to that I needed to be away from people. But I get it - I'm a jerk (doesn't bother me though).
From my side of the story, I snapped into a hermit phase after a lot of adverse episodes built up in too little space and time. A hermit was I; along the way I inadvertently sever ties, and I never tried to patch things up.
Taking that into account, let's count the ways it is impossible to be back where we once were:
1: We'll be as much as a band of strangers after reconciliation what before.
2: Considering the many times y'all bemoaned over the unfairness of my stupidity then it's pretty obvious which way the pendulum swung.
3: Hold your horses and think. I severed ties. I broke your trust on purpose. Which brings me back to...
4: We'll be as much as a band of strangers after reconciliation what before.
5: Talk me down all you want about cynicism and pessimism but don't you think things're gonna turn out awkward?
I'm just gonna come out and say it. Seeing the impossibility of reconciled friendship, the least I could do is to lend a hand here and give you some advice. Whether you choose to take it or not, it's simply up to you. I'm just helping out as a fellow being.
1: You can soften the blow life delivers, but once you find friends along the way, no matter how painful that situation may be, eventually you can survive it.
2: Take in the fear and the pain. Because pain makes you stronger and fear makes you braver. So do one thing everyday that scares you.
3: When people walk away from you, let them go, your destiny is never tied with anyone who leaves you, doesn't mean they are bad people, it just means that their part in your story is over.
Someone taught me that when you feel like there's no more and nothing left but the life you've broken, no regrets, no turning back and tell people that you're being you. Then I learnt that there's no point in crying over yesterday. Remember that always. Never apologise for being you. So I am not apologising for what happened.
(The friends I have now are all friends from years past. Don't go snappin' around sayin' new equals to ne(ver) w(ere). Now that just pisses me off. They're still dear to me.)
PS
If y'all are hell bent in trying, I'd like to know at least five valid reasons as to why we could, else save the both of us the heartache.
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