[FICLET] Uh... First JaeHo fic?
So... um. Yeah. Another fic. It's amazing how long I can write when I'm in a sad state than I were in any other. Of course, JaeHo.I'm not sure how to summarise this. Okay lemme try the summary.Summary : They said it was just a temporary fix. A way to pass the time until they got girls of their own. It was just something to fill the empty space in their beds. Jaejoong was lying. Yunho wasn't.Ngah. Listening to DBSK's Begin isn't making my mood any better. Why do I have to be so... emo?Small drops of brine fall
unto this purple fabric;
Against the pillar
at the back
I show you this
Only you and I know
The only ones
This secret is meant between me and you
A secret shared to bond ourselves
You know that.
I told you.
Everywhere I go
I'd always end up at that place
where no one wanted me
where they put up fake smiles
where I feel most hated
As if I had nowhere else to go
As if I'm in a maze;
caught in a dead-end, that place.
But that place is the only place
where I won't feel lonely
despite the isolation.
That place holds me back from dying inside.
But it hurts not to hate it.
I want to despise it, and myself.
Because I had nowhere else to go.
And they're just my only choice.
Bad one. Bad, bad, bad. This is one thing I really didn't like about writing poems. The idea just pops back in my head and came out to be soo bad and still in draft form. A spur of the moment kinda thing.
Well at least I got some out of me. I felt like my head was gonna burst, thinking about it.
Oh right, on to the fic. And again. This one is a spur of the moment kinda thing like the poem. So there might be some errors. Bleh.
I.They said it was just a temporary fix. A way to pass the time until they got girls of their own. It was just something to fill the empty space in their beds.
Jaejoong knew from the beginning that he was lying right through his teeth. He had gotten so good at lying; sometimes it almost felt like the truth. He had always just assumed Yunho was equally deceptive. Lying about wanting nothing but a warm body to tide him over, not specifically Jaejoong’s warm body.
II.They carried on this way for years. The secret smiles and careless touches, brushing against each other, furtive fucks in closets and bathrooms and hidden corners. Jaejoong doesn’t remember when it stopped being just a fuck. Maybe it never was to him. Jaejoong doesn’t remember when he started to kiss Yunho. He doesn’t even remember if Yunho wanted to kiss him back or not.
The arrangement never was ideal. But then what of a clandestine homosexual relationship between celebrities ever is? But it was enough. They would keep lying about only needing a warm body for as long as this lust held their bodies together- hopefully forever, however naïve the notion. Or at least Jaejoong would.
III.The girl is beautiful. Not nearly as beautiful as Jaejoong mind but she was attractive in her own right. Jaejoong is all long limbs and sinewy body, hard edges pressed up against flat lines. She is petite and cute, curvy hips and ample chest. Both with silky fair hair and a pretty pink pout, long fluttery lashes and big dark eyes. But she giggles in ways Jaejoong is unused to, swings her body cutely in ways only adorable on a girl. She calls Yunho oppa with the drawn out syllables and girlish soprano.
When Jaejoong lies empty in his bed he forces his mind not to question why. He knows why. Hates that he knows why. But they always said it was only a temporary fix. Perhaps this temporary fix became a craving and an addiction, drunk on sex and heat, but all vices are curable. Perhaps only in eventuality and painstakingly so, but all in all curable, Jaejoong reminds himself.
IV.Heechul presses a cold beer against Jaejoong’s hot cheek. There is a silent understanding between the two boys. Once a rivalry of beauty and talent, vying for the affection of the same boy; but now it’s a silent understanding between two boys who know what being scorned by love for a woman of all things feels like.
Yunho dances close to the girl, practically panting in her ear and she doesn’t seem to mind in the least.
“Does it ever stop hurting?” Jaejoong asks quietly between sips. Heechul smirks, on the surface it seems merely mischievous, but Jaejoong knows the crude shape of the smirk comes only from the bitterness of heartbreak.
“Jaejoong. You and I are nothing alike.” Heechul says haughtily and gets up. Jaejoong takes that as a “no”. Heechul can flirt all he wants; throw himself in front of the camera, arms and legs tangled around nameless boy after nameless boy, harmless kisses and extravagant hand gestures every which way. But his eyes tell a different story.
Heechul is right. They are nothing alike. Jaejoong cannot hide his pain so easy, even if he merely brushes off the angles at which the camera catches his sadness as simple shyness.
V.Slowly Jaejoong begins to edge away. Turn his head towards Junsu and away from Yunho. To smile at Changmin and spend his time with Yoochun. Yunho is so wrapped up in whats-her-name he doesn’t even notice until it’s too late. Until he’s staring at Jaejoong across a chasm.
Yunho asks the others sometimes what’s wrong with Jaejoong. Junsu gives him a pitying look. Changmin shakes his head at him exasperated. And Yoochun slaps him upside the head.
VI.Jaejoong smiles with sad eyes and walks away.*Heechul's this really reaallllyyyy hot guy in Superjunior, the first Korean group I fell in love with. Sadly I don't have any pictures of him. But he's really divine-looking! siiiigh. I love being in a fandom of hot guys with fangirls fawning over them.Labels: DBSK, Jaeho, Jaejoong, shounenai, Yunho
[FICLET] Some...Yamabu fic. Untitled.
I seriously can't get enough of PIN~ YamaPi + Jin = rabu rabuSiiigh. This one is a draft, so it ain't finished. It is finished baru tadi. But I don't think the ending is good. I suck at it. I suck at description. I can't even write a good kissing scene!
Ah well. Title is... unknown. Ah yeah, I suck at making titles too. I'm a failure~! And it's rated um, I don't know how to rate too! *emos somewhere* But it has rough Pi and a clueless Jin(as always). And Pi dominates!
TONIGHT WE WILL DINE IN HELL!!!!
Err that was just plain random. Couldn't think of anything better to end an introduction.
*
"YES!" 14-year-old Akanishi Jin cheers as he watches the last basketball fall into the hoop flawlessly. He turns to his best friend who is currently pouting, a basketball still in his hands. "I win again," he says, smirking at the younger boy. He walks over to the stand next to it and picks out a stuffed animal (a panda) and adds it to his bulging bag of prizes he had won that entire day. It must be my lucky day, he thinks as he lugs the bag home with him, walking alongside a quiet Yamashita Tomohisa.
Jin animatedly recounts most of the day's games, his voice not hiding the excitement he was feeling from having won so much in one day when usually he's the loser at the end of these games. Beside him though, Yamapi has not said a single word in reply.
"Pi?" Jin asks, when he realizes that the boy appears lost in his thoughts.
"Hmm?" Yamapi grunts out, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his head staring down at the ground. He looks up, his eyes slightly dulled over and Jin frowns.
"Ne," he says, stopping in his tracks and rummaging through his bag.
"Jin, what are you doing?" Yamapi asks, his voice curious as he stops beside his best friend.
Jin finally finds what he's been looking for and picks out a plushie of Tuxedo Mask. "Ne, you can have this! I know you think he's cool and all and well, I have too much already."
Yamapi stares at the plushie in front of him and then looks into Jin's anxious face. However, the reaction from the younger boy isn't exactly what Jin is expecting. He glares at Jin as he snaps, "Taking pity on me? Just because I lost today doesn't mean you have to act as though I'm so pathetic I'll take the scraps from my best friend."
"Wha?" Jin starts, his heart pounding as he watches Yamapi's glare get darker. "That's not-" he starts, but is cut off.
"I don't need to take this from you," he snips, turns on his heel and then dashes away, leaving Jin frozen in his spot with his arm still outstretched and the plushie in his hand.
Jin's shoulders droop as he puts the plushie back into the bag and lifts his bag up and clutches it to himself. He hadn't meant it like that, not in the least. He had just thought he'd do a nice thing, like whenever Yamapi won, he'd always give one of the prizes to Jin and thought he could finally do the same. He trudges all the way home, kicking rocks and little puppies alike, minus the puppies, of course.
He enters the house, muttering out a weak "Tadaima" and rushes up into his room to avoid any questions from his mom. He can hear a faint "Jin!" coming from his mom, but he promptly ignores it.
Throwing open the door to his room, he expects to be able to toss the bag aside and just flop onto his bed, but he's extremely mistaken when he finds Yamapi sitting on top of his bed, staring at a spot on his wall while eating some popcorn from a bowl on his lap. Jin promptly drops the bag in front of him.
Jin stares for a long minute, blinking and then goes "Pi?" a second later. The younger boy doesn't react to the comment at all, and Jin knows that he's just being stubborn again. The older boy sighs, moving to pick up the bag and tossing all the fallen plushies back into it.
Crunch. Crunch.
Looking up, Jin sees Yamapi casually plopping in the popcorn into his mouth like this is nothing and that he's not in Jin's room, getting on Jin's nerves with his little silent act.
Crunch. Crunch-crunch-crunch.
Jin manages to put the bag aside without attacking Yamapi at the irritating sound of crunching popcorn in his mouth, but when he goes "Pi?" a second time and Yamapi doesn't react, he snaps. He moves to grab the bowl, his hands tugging on one end of the bowl.
Quickly, the fury in Yamapi's eyes comes back as his hands automatically move to take it back. The two struggle a little with the bowl, making it into a mini-tug of war battle when the bowl slips from both their hands and lands all over Jin's bed. The buttered-popcorn scatters onto his sheets and onto the floor and the two stare at each other for a long minute.
"Now look at what you did!" They snap at the same time, identical glares on both of their faces. Jin grunts a little, lying back on the rug in his room and he tries desperately to hold himself back from strangling the younger boy.
Yamapi grunts in reply, falling back onto Jin's bed and ignoring the crunch of the popcorn beneath him when his body hit the bed.
It's silent between the two for a long while, to the point that Jin could've sworn that at least half an hour passed without any dialogue being shared between them.
"I'm sorry," Yamapi mutters out, breaking their silence and then he leans over to his side and still not looking at Jin at all.
Jin sits up abruptly, not sure if he was hearing things or not. "Wait, what?"
Yamapi purposely keeps away from Jin's gaze, trying to look at any spot other than his eyes and mutters again, albeit a little louder this time, "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry; I can't hear you." Jin snaps, crawling over to his bed and trying to get closer to Yamapi.
This time, Yamapi turns his head and faces Jin, eyes on eyes. "I'm. Sorry," he repeats, this time loud and clear.
Jin stares and then a smile grows on his face. "It's okay, Pi." He turns over, leaning back on the side of his bed. "You're a sore loser, I understand."
Yamapi growls behind him, "I am not!" he exclaims, smacking Jin in the head with one of his pillows.
Jin is laughing when he falls back against the floor, ignoring, as Yamapi did, the crunching of the popcorn underneath him. "Who'd've thought you'd be such a brat when you lost?"
Yamapi huffs, "Shut up." He moves to lie beside Jin and the two lay next to each other, the silence in the room more comfortable than it had been in a long while.
"...Still want that plushie?" Jin asks, one arm behind his head.
A pillow smacks him on the face in reply. "Not Tuxedo Mask, baka. I never said he was cool," Yamapi snaps with a roll of his eyes.
"Ahhh, must be mixing you up with someone else." Jin leans over to his side so he can look at Yamapi and the younger boy moves to do the same. "But you can definitely take any one that you want."
Yamapi's smile is comforting to him. "Thanks, Jin. I appreciate it."
Jin smiles back, "No problem."
The smile changes to a wicked grin as Yamapi says, "But next time, I won't have to take one of your plushies because I'll be winning my own and you'll be the one asking one from me."
Jin hits Yamapi in the face with the pillow and the two collapse on the floor in laughter.
*
"Akanishi-kun!" A girl's voice coos as he walks down the street with his best friend.
Jin, now at the ripe age of 21, flashes her one of his best smiles, giving her a small wave as well, and she turns to her friend, squealing in excitement. A block later, it happens again. Only this time, it's two girls and this time, Jin actually knows them. He can hear Yamapi "tsk" and can just see the male rolling his eyes as he listens to Jin flirt with the girls. It's a common enough occurence for Jin that he's surprised when Yamapi curtly excuses himself and heads off without giving Jin any heed.
Jin stares at Yamapi's departing back, biting at his lip as he looked from the girls to Yamapi, then back to the girls. "Yamapi!" he calls out, but the boy doesn't turn around. Jin's eyebrows furrows together as he continues to stare at Yamapi walking away. He turns to the girls, his face with apology written all over it, "Sorry, I should go see what's the matter. See you tomorrow?" He runs off before hearing their apology, but he's sure they'll agree. (He was Akanishi Jin, after all.)
By the time that Jin has caught up to Yamapi, the male's already inside of Jin's house, sitting on his bed... With popcorn in his lap. Jin blinks for a second and then tries to keep calm, assuring himself that this does not mean what he thinks it means. (And how'd he get there so quickly and cook popcorn? Did he have some hidden supply somewhere that Jin just didn't know about?)
"You know, I could definitely hook you up with one of the girls," Jin says casually, tossing his back-pack wherever and throwing himself against the floor, leaning against one of the sides of the bed. "I know you have a thing for girls with big breasts, and you have to admit that Sakura does have them. I'm sure she'd jump at the chance to date the famous Yamashita Tomohisa." Jin leans back on his elbows and tilts his head back far enough so he can get a good look at Yamapi's face.
He only finds Yamapi still crunching annoyingly (a sound that never ceases to piss Jin off) on popcorn and is still staring at the wall blankly.
"Tomohisa," Jin calls and Yamapi just pops another kernel into his mouth.
"Yamashita," he snaps, turning his whole body around to get a good look at Yamapi. "Will you stop eating and talk to me already?" The male still doesn't react and Jin always did have a short fuse.
"Damn it, Pi! You keep doing this!" Jin picks up a random plushie from the floor and throws it at the younger male on his bed. "We're not kids anymore. You have got to stop giving me the silent treatment whenever you're pissed at me!"
Yamapi's glare almost causes Jin to lose his nerve.
"No, Pi," Jin snaps, his glare matching Yamapi's. "For once, you're going to have to say something and not stay silent for over half an hour."
Yamapi huffs, snatching the pillow he had been lying on and throws it at Jin's head. Jin ducks to avoid it and looks back up only to find Yamapi had moved in front of him. He leans forward against his hands which rest at Jin's sides. Jin arches back slightly, feeling his back ache from the uncomfortable position. Yamapi whispers softly with a tinge of darkness to it, "Do you really want to know what the problem is, Jin?" His breath mixes with Jin's and Jin takes in a deep breath unconsciously, inhaling all that is Yamapi.
"Yes," Jin murmurs. They lock eyes and the world freezes for Jin. All he can focus on is on the male in front of him, who is breathing on him and whose warm breath is tickling his nose. His eyes dart to focus on Yamapi's and he follows the line of his nose to his eyes which haven't blinked once and the thought causes Jin to blink. In that one second, Yamapi pounces, his lips press against Jin's and Jin falls back on the floor in shock.
Yamapi is persistent though and he presses against Jin's body as he leans forward, trying to keep their lips from separating. Jin's hands move to push the boy off of him, but when Yamapi's tongue pokes at his lips and Jin gasps in reaction, causing Yamapi to plunge his tongue into his mouth, his hands stop trying to push and instead are tugging at Yamapi to get closer.
They separate and Jin opens his eyes to find Yamapi still on top of him. He suddenly acutely aware of the fact that his hands are clutching at the front of Yamapi's shirt and Jin just blinks dumbly. "Um," he says after a long uncomfortable pause.
"That's my problem," Yamapi whispers, his eyes looking more vulnerable than Jin thinks he's ever seen them. "And I can't help it anymore." He moves to get up, but Jin doesn't let go. Instead, Jin tugs him forward and when Yamapi collapses against Jin's body, Jin throws his arms around the younger male.
"Then, don't worry about it any longer," Jin mutters into Yamapi's hair, his hands tangling in the black hair that he always found soft and was pleased to find that it actually was. "This is one thing that you definitely won't have to throw a tantrum over." When he feels Yamapi's hands gripping at Jin's shirt, Jin looks down to find Yamapi staring back at him. Jin flashes him a smile and the younger male snorts and rolls his eyes.
"I guess not," Yamapi says, leaning his head against Jin's chest and listening to the sound of his heart beat. "I guess not."
Labels: bein' stumped with homeworks and still blogging, fanfiction, I love PIN, Johnny's Entertainment, shounenai, yaoi
Bakanishi Jin smiles because he likes Yamapi.
Yamapi smiles because he knows Bakanishi Jin is thinking of stupid things again.
Jin thinks of stupid things like: fish, the road, and toes.
Yamapi thinks of intelligent things like: humans, the air, and minds.
Jin thinks Yamapi is sexy so he tells him so.
Yamapi thinks Jin is crazy, but he replies that he is humbled.
Jin wishes Yamapi would respond with a, ‘Ditto that.’
Yamapi wishes he could be less uptight.
Finally Nishikido Ryo gets sick of the two idiots.
Nishikido Ryo sets out to straighten everyone up (minus Hiroki Uchi since Ryo thinks he is already perfect.)
Jin looks at Yamapi.
Yamapi looks at Jin.
Ryo pushes open the door.
Uchi wanders in good naturally.
They all stare at one another.
One another stare back.
“Hi!” Bakanishi greets.
He waves. His eyes twinkle.“Yo,” Yamapi greets. He does not wave. His eyes droop (but not like Ryo’s.)
“Uchi,” says Ryo.
“Yes?” Asks Uchi.
“Do you know what’s wrong here?”
“What, Ryo?”
“These two idiots love each other but they’re both ruining their chance to be like us.”
“Like us?!” Uchi cries out. He feels his heartbeat accelerate.
Yamapi rolls his eyes. He stands up and pushes Ryo and Uchi out the door. He leans against the cold metal and looks at Jin. His eyes are serious.
“Akanishi Jin, I love you.”
“Jin? Bakanishi? Where are you? Hey, what are you doing with paper? You know how to write? Let me see!”
“No, meanie!”
*
I just felt in the Pin lovin' mood~ GOD I love these two guys~Labels: amused..., bein' stumped with homeworks and still blogging, fanfiction, I love PIN, Johnny's Entertainment, mild yaoi, shounenai, whatever
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