this was no chicken. this was evil manifest.

I cried "corn beef" in a demonic voice in front of people I'd just met. If that tells you anything about me...
Other than that, the name is Nabilah Johari who goes by her days embarrassing friends with her shameless antics.

my eyes as it is rimmed in red

Sunday, August 26, 2007 7:56 PM

There were times when I disliked your actions and that will only cease after a day. But just two days ago you and her wanted to talk to me, you said things at your usual rude trying-too-hard-to-be-cold-but-you-simply-suck-at-it voice, while she just sat there like an idiot staring quietly at you then me then you, only to come up with the things you already said. She's just repeating you, and I find that very annoying and I find her stupid.

I didn't want to hurt you further even though I am fully aware that my lies were evident in my words. I feigned a smug smile, looking at you and held back my tears as long as possible. At the corner of my eye I saw her glaring down at me as I faked that sneer.

You don't know my inner turmoil as you spat at me, only attempting to think of Jaeho to calm myself from snapping back at you and hit the bloody face of yours senselessly. You have no idea how crazy I can get when I crack. You have no idea how much blood trickled as I clenched my fist tightly. You just don't have any idea, at all. Because you never seem to care.

You're not aware that as I type this my eyes are filled with tears that's been begging to fall. I lied sprawled on the floor not caring about the tears that's been rolling down into the blackness of my hair. You made me feel guilty.

Then the next day, you abruptly cut off what I ought to call as my life support. You deliberately tried to kill me. I snapped again. And you broke me. I wailed and screamed without a sound with tears that never seem to stop by my own will until my eyes were rimmed in red. I hadn't slept til dawn.

Just kill me, I know you want to. Kill me now so I won't have to suffer more.

And I loathe you to the very core of my heart. Blood means nothing to me, in any sense. You're just bloodthirsty, but you don't want it either.

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