How could one little information crush all the happiness of today? How is that possible?Even though today I experienced so much; so much that it wins against that little evil news in a scale I still... feel dejected. *facepalm*If Zati hadn't shown me that video I wouldn't be writing anything right now and instead shedding tears incessantly. These small orbs of watery brine is bland on my tongue as it cascades down my cheeks and into my mouth.Today should've been a chipper day because I didn't bump into that freaky dude.It should've been a chipper day because JM had been glancing to his side which had been my side. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN!!Sigh. *deep breath in and out* I can't take this anymore. All these assumptions and notions racing into my mind, they tend to hurt me.What if he knows that I stalk him?What if he hates me now that he knows I stalk him?Why didn't I see him after class? Did he avoid me?I'm sorry, forgive me. Please just forgive me. I promise that I won't bother you again. Just please let me see you once in a while.How did your friends know I stalk you?Why? Why halting my stalking missions? You want to come straight and blunt to you?
Today afternoon...
...was the worst of the day.
Some of the GDLs were still there. I was there. Zimah was there; so were Izni, Juzai, Mush and some others. Wardah wasn't there. She went to Bio with JM.
Just after 1.30 pm...
Zati and Zaf left to go home. My feet crosslegged, my eyes randomly looking elsewhere, my heary beating at a normal pace. But that soon changed just as my breathe hitched.
He was there. At the boys' shelves.
He went past me, behind me... I looked at him indirectly through the glass of the displays in front of the library. I saw him giving a fleeting look at us, the GDLs. Then he looked at Wardah. They talked for a bit then left. Him before her.
Mush smiled at me with intent; his eyes from him then to me back to him and me. That goof. Hah. Not only him who gave me that intentional smirks that I just wanted to wipe it off their faces for it made grin a lot like an idiot than a any other moronic morons ever stepped on earth.
Then... the bad news came.
I was being amai and was feeling amai so I fiddled around my Zimah's phone. And I guess that what Rabs told me was true. She said to me : "It's better to know it from someone else then finding out by yourself."
Zimah had one unread text message on her phone and since I was being amai, I violated her privacy and pressed onto the Read button.
After reading that the gears in my brain froze as if it had been sent to Antartica for decades and sent back in my head(I know it's not that funny but I'm still in the state of shock here.) I was like...
0.0
o.0
x.X
TT.TT
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