There, I see you again.
There, my fast-beating heart aches.
There, you were far yet so close.
And looked unwithered while I looked weak.

I see you as came out the room
Accidentally I saw you
with your camera, hung below your shoulder

The weather was good, it drizzled.
The soft pitter patters usually calms my nerves down
I felt so peaceful and recollected
Then you came in sight

Five girls ran along the corridor
across the building
I saw a figure that I assumed was you
And it was you
Stopping behind a pillar
my whole facing straight other than your way
Knees shaking, quivering, giving way

Tried to shake it off but as I took a step
I fell
to the floor
It didn't hurt
I only fell.

Looking up at the grey sky
I thanked god that you went inside already
Didn't see my weak state
My eyes stinging with tears
My ragged breath
My despicable state.
But I got up and walked away like nothing happened.

*

Yet again I stood beside a pillar
Having no care of the soft rain drenched upon me
I was numb, or at least I wanted to feel numb
Looking at nothing in particular
Everything was grey and dull
The sky, the road, the buildings, the shack...
Everything was grey except for the bushes and grass.

Soon upon hearing someone calling my name
I realised that I wasn't on a pillar
but sitting in the middle of the corridor
still staring yonder

*

Flashes were in the corner of my eye
I never bothered to look
I knew what it is, where it came from, why it was there and from whom.

A handful of people came hovering
with inquistive and worried expression played on their faces
All asked, hungry for the truth
I dodged and slipped under the grasp, saying 'I'm alright. Nothing happened.'

I was tired, emotionally.
Even myself, inside, didn't even bother to protest my words laced with a lie.
I'm alright. Nothing happened.
Bite me.
Of course I wasn't alright.

Those people were empathic, I could tell.
They left in understanding.

I was tired, physically.
Even my lungs didn't want to suck in the air
My knees trembled
I could've fallen to the high bush in front of me if it wasn't for the pillar

The more flashes I see in the corner of my eye
The more I tried to fully submerge my body behind the slim figure of the pillar

I was glad.
He went home.
I only cast a mere glance and no more.
I finslly plopped down to the concrete floor,
unmasking my false strength,
closing my eyes in defeat and inertia, letting a tear roll down my cheek.

As if nature could read me, the rain poured slightly more stronger
and yet no harsh winds
At least that could dry up the trace of the lone tear.

Why am I still despondent?
Huh, I don't believe in 'that'. Then why...?
I'm not emo am I?
If I am should I mutilate myself to rid the sadness and hurt?
Do emos do that?
Should I become one?
I'm being stupid again.

You...
I hate this.
Oh god please let them reject my application as a PRO prefect.
Then I don't have to see his face...
But then...
I won't see Manhunt.

Yes I know I'm confusing myself. That's what I very good at.
I'm talking to myself now...and at times I talk to someone else.
Someone inside me.

The only thing I could do is to divert all my attention of that to something else.
Something like, the JE boys. And their accidental similarities.
Similarites on clothes, shoes, accesories... belts. Especially the belts. :] Okay I'm alright now. I'm fine. It's pathetic that I cheered myself up. Hah. Siiiigh.
I find myself to realise that my knees are bruised and stinging in pain due to that incident.

Well I have to go now.
Oh for no reason. I just wanted to end this because I seem to can NOT stop typing and talking at the same time. Bye bye-cycle~ ;]