you innards have a pleasant aftertaste.
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PROFILE ►
I cried "corn beef" in a demonic voice in front of people I'd just met. If that tells you anything about me...
Other than that, the name is Nabilah Johari who goes by her days embarrassing friends with her shameless antics.
Friends. You sometimes can't have them.


The afternoon was hot and tiring.
There was a slightly swift flow of the seniors heading towards the auditorium. For a motivational talk...
...I think...

Along that long streams of seniors she saw him again.
Hurting her, again.
Maybe she was thinking her situation exaggeratedly...

He was heading to the auditorium too,
with the principal in front and another colleague at his side
(thankfully wasn't her)

His sister acknowledged the principal in which she got a nod from the latter and a sneer from him.
He had that adorable face when he smiled and sneered at the same time.
The one that could make her breathless.
The one that could make her eyes sting.
The one that... she misses the most.

Upon not seeing the rarity
she was both happy and angry...
His movement...
His distance so close and yet so far...

Looking down she hid the tears of frustration
Then looked up, watching his back facing her...
It's the only part of him that she could stand seeing...
Then he was gone into the auditorium.

*

She sat alone at the rebel's line
thinking... actually trying to relax.

She was tired, hungry and sleepy...
So she sat alone, looking yonder the horizon.

Then was accompanied with another lonesome and mournful stranger.
She was... leaning against the pillar, also staring yonder
with those empty eyes.

Even though her features showed none,
but actually her thoughts were a mess.
She could feel it.
Just like how she was right there.

Then her friend came and sat down with the stranger.
Asking her, pursuing her and caring for her...

She could only listen to their worries of the stranger,
but they were met with silence. They didn't give up, never did.

Suddenly she felt a pang of jealousy.

The stranger's friends were her friends too.
They just didn't notice her presence.
But she was a bit jealous to see their bond, friendship.

Her friend was there too,
sitting leisurely, talking annoyingly loud...
That friend never took notice of her sudden quietness.

Huh. A soulfriend, indeed. What a load of shit. Shit always come up from her mouth.

That friend and her were close, but I guess that they weren't close enough to have that friend to care of her friend's condition. Unless it was critical.

She was jealous...
Jealous to see how the stranger and her friends cared for her
Jealous to see how those friends are hard to find
Jealous to see how their bond was.

She looked away in utter annoyance and pain,
continued to stare yonder...
Then looked down to hide her tears again.

Another group of people behind her saw that...
They began questioning why...
They didn't bother because...
they weren't her friends.

Unlike her soulfriend
she was her 'friend'.
But she didn't know that she cried.

*

Two lonesome and hurt people
sitting beside each other...
They were the same
and yet, different.

The stranger had caring friends
while she... did not.

Maybe she wasn't meant to be related to him or that friend in any way.
She couldn't be happy.
She was constantly falling down
and got to her feet
and was pushed back down.

Don't I deserve to have those kinds of companions?

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