appreciating what I have

People don't change, they lie.

2011-10-23T15:37:00.012+08:00

Blog! I've been neglecting you, sorry! Life just got really busy all of a sudden. (Perhaps most embarrassing is that my reaction to the sudden craziness wasn't "oh, my social life!" but "I AM FALLING BEHIND ON ALL MY DRAMAS, WHY, WHYYY").

Anyway, here comes another drama season! I'm amused to see the cross-dressing heroines from last season have grown up. This time it's all about middle-aged women and the wide variety of ways they become BAMFs. (I should mention that this is just about jdramas. I know we're all swingers for other countries now, but am in the middle of rediscovering jdramas)

- A housewife as mysterious problem solver

- A housewife who is secretly a spy

- A housewife becoming a detective

- An heiress becoming a detective

- A flight attendant becoming a bounty hunter

Apparently the theme for this season is "bitches getting ALL shit done." I APPROVE.

And now for something completely depressing!

As of late, I've picked up a disturbance in the force... and an obliquely directed hate-fest on me. There are a lot of things I could say about these things, but what consistently bowls me over is how hilariously belated they are, and "you" become a codename. But firstly I admit severing all ties with the closest of people sans warning is harsh and too abrupt... and plain stupid. I have no real explanation, just that I've been in a slump in general. I don't know! I keep trying things and find myself swirled into mild depression. Due to that I needed to be away from people. But I get it - I'm a jerk (doesn't bother me though).

From my side of the story, I snapped into a hermit phase after a lot of adverse episodes built up in too little space and time. A hermit was I; along the way I inadvertently sever ties, and I never tried to patch things up.

Taking that into account, let's count the ways it is impossible to be back where we once were:

1: We'll be as much as a band of strangers after reconciliation what before.

2: Considering the many times y'all bemoaned over the unfairness of my stupidity then it's pretty obvious which way the pendulum swung.

3: Hold your horses and think. I severed ties. I broke your trust on purpose. Which brings me back to...

4: We'll be as much as a band of strangers after reconciliation what before.

5: Talk me down all you want about cynicism and pessimism but don't you think things're gonna turn out awkward?

I'm just gonna come out and say it. Seeing the impossibility of reconciled friendship, the least I could do is to lend a hand here and give you some advice. Whether you choose to take it or not, it's simply up to you. I'm just helping out as a fellow being.

1: You can soften the blow life delivers, but once you find friends along the way, no matter how painful that situation may be, eventually you can survive it.

2: Take in the fear and the pain. Because pain makes you stronger and fear makes you braver. So do one thing everyday that scares you.

3: When people walk away from you, let them go, your destiny is never tied with anyone who leaves you, doesn't mean they are bad people, it just means that their part in your story is over.

Someone taught me that when you feel like there's no more and nothing left but the life you've broken, no regrets, no turning back and tell people that you're being you. Then I learnt that there's no point in crying over yesterday. Remember that always. Never apologise for being you. So I am not apologising for what happened.

(The friends I have now are all friends from years past. Don't go snappin' around sayin' new equals to ne(ver) w(ere). Now that just pisses me off. They're still dear to me.)

If y'all are hell bent in trying, I'd like to know at least five valid reasons as to why we could, else save the both of us the heartache.

The "bishop" came to our church today. He was a fucking impostor... never once moved diagonally.

2011-03-06T22:17:00.005+08:00

Virtual gift

To: nxxxxxxxxxxo

You're kind of an ass. Don't ever change!

DEAR ANONYMOUS:

My love for you is so deep I can only express it in freeverse poetry.

Can't understand how

Awesome you are—

No, not only awesome

But

Excellent!

No!

Indescribably amazing, that's what you are!

Joke.

And I'd just like to say--

Orgasms

Often, my love.

♥

c a l l m e y o u;

sexy beast.

s I n CERly,

~Nacchho~

So I started on my pursuit of happiness! (queue BG music - 'I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold~') It's been going on for a couple of months but I'm getting there.

AND NOW I'M ALL 'TAKE CHANCES' AND 'LET'S HUMOUR OURSELVES AND COUNT THE STEPS TO SEE HOW HUGE TIME SQUARE IS'. And of course, by ourselves, I meant company and myself. Psssh! Gone are the standalone days.

On life, I was lectured a coupla days ago:

"There's more to life than winning trophies and studying for exams -- those things don't last forever. If you're happy with what you've got in the end, the ways and means mean absolutely nothing, hon."

A few hours later, I thought that her statement about happiness in the end is absolute bullshit. Flowery, Oscar Wilde-worthy bullshit. It's easy to say that the middle means nothing if you're enjoying yourself as it occurs, laughing as the present unfolds. If you're enjoying yourself in the present, surely you're going to be happier in the future than if the situation were reversed. That's just logic.

And as far as I can see, everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. I know that I am not supposed to believe everything I see, but as someone who's trying to master the art of capturing what is seen, well, I hope that seeing is believing. Somewhat.

Your heart is empty, empty, empty-y-y-y

2010-10-22T19:25:00.005+08:00

Aaand I'm back! Again.

So I'd just like to preface this entry by beginning with my philosophy, because I think the reason people are so uncomfortable about the idea of unconditional love is because we grow up expecting this from the world, but the truth is that the love the world offers is full of conditions. We keep running around asking do you love me? and the world says, yes, I love you if you're pretty or yes, I love you if you're well-educated or yes, I love you if you're fucking rich and wild.

Yes, it is about that glorified L word.

When someone comes along and says I love you we keep waiting on the "if" and when it never comes, we back off, confused as hell because there are no conditions. People can't stand the thought of a love bigger than what the world has told them to believe in, so they turn on their heels and run away.

And then? you may ask. That's it. My genius has run its course for tonight.

All deep love-related philosophy aside, tonight I actually have a dinner to go to and since I still live with my parents, they get to decide whether I could go or not and painfully obviously I'm stuck at home. Ngh. I was really looking forward to Shabu-Shabu.

(I wish I knew how to make food other than appetizers. I whoop asses in soup-making.)

Okay, my blogging skillzz is rusty considering more than five times I've been stuck writing the next paragraphs, and what with tweeting on Twitter ever since the last entry I'm so used to think in 140 characters. To start slow, my muses in a nutshell:

You have to be careful with what you wish for.
Life events have become slightly colourful ever since I enrolled in MIC. Among other things, I've learnt that the excuse of being naive ~~(feigned naivety and a touch of elusive)~~ will only work for so long. Heh.
It would be nice if my arms tighten with lean muscles like it used to.
I am still contemplating, in all seriousness, whether to buy this self-help book: "How To Get Along With People". I'm still weighing the pros and cons.
My condolences goes to you and your family. Al-fatihah.

I don't dislike Cassie. She's like Jesus. I like the person, but have quibbles with the fanclub.

2010-03-09T20:05:00.002+08:00

Either I'm slowly spiraling into a constant state of paranoia as a result of repressed war trauma and memories of child abuse, or my room is haunted. :-?

I hear footsteps when lights are out. Hushed whispers outside my room. The door to my bathroom drift shut on their own. There has always been something stomping on the ceiling, thudding on the wall which in any case is not by a tree because there is not tree nearby for at least three stone's throw.

I'M GOING CRAZY. I'M SURROUNDED BY GHOSTS. NEITHER ONE IS PARTICULARLY APPEALING. :))

Although in its defense, yesterday I locked the door and I made sure of it then went to work but as I got back the door was ajar open. This morning it was past eight I was running late and I don't flip any switches off in my room but I did make sure my door was double locked. The door was still locked when I got back but the switch board was turned off. The exhaust fan too. But my room felt degrees warmer. Whatever it is I'm not sure its intentions but it sort of cares about the electric bills. A lot of times I drift to sleep without the lights and fan off. I wake up everything's turned off except the A/C system.

AM I GOING CRAZY? SLEEP WALKING? I ain't gonna put a hidden videocam in fear of something alike to Paranormal Activity! HELL NAAAAAAAH, MAN.

unseen unspoken understood

2010-02-26T15:24:00.004+08:00

At no point of my life had I been chirpy about meeting new people, intended or by chance. New people would result to having to open up and opening up really takes up bodily energy. I am not fond of pleasing one, wearing a mask to hide your true self from a new stranger. To please them. To please their eyes and ears. Pleasing with another thin layer of skin of fake smiles, empty laughter, meaningless conversations, a whole attitude that was never labeled your own. It's disgusting.

I want to live an honest life. Where I wouldn't have to be obliged to smile or laugh. Living free in sync of my heart and soul. We have as much rights as any person has and politeness is a conspiracy.

But our selfish nature would not be human if we aren't hypocritical. There's always a situation, a catalyst or a person where these do not apply. A clay model with limbs within ourselves sensitive to other more-than-soft-clay beings they call special, a heart so soft and vulnerable any more-than-soft-clay people could crush, mold and steal easily and so heartbreakingly. Heart, soul, body. These things would suffer less if the heart is stone.

That would be a wish too far fetched but a wish to read minds wouldn't be so hard. I want to live an honest life but I do sometimes wish to be a manipulative conniving sneaky jack.

In the end none of this ever matters or makes sense. I'm just a plaything. I'm only talking to thin air. I'm only just not the right material.

I like cats too. Let's change recipes.

2010-02-14T22:23:00.001+08:00

Hey! You! Do you like Thai music?

Bodyslam is one of my favorite Thai bands because their videos are completely incomprehensible. Apocalyptic futures, singing animals, travels down the bloodstream, underwater CGI, people made out of clouds... ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. By the time the ocean sprouts a giant eye, you're not even surprised.

The beautiful bromance between a blue squirrel and a green buck-toothed guitar-playing rabbit. Absurd? Absurdly ADORABLE.

I WASN'T KIDDING ABOUT THE TRIP DOWN AN ARTERY. Then the lead singer rides an airport luggage belt and de-ages into a baby... then he disintegrates a plane with the power of his mind... I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

A revolt against the police by a bunch of people made out of clouds. Then the girl starts flying and explodes into birds. Yes, into birds.

This one is actually pretty normal, by which I mean they only hallucinate once or twice. Have I mentioned how much I love this band? Because I really, really do.

LOLOL the things you find by accident.

Have you ever typed shit in Google just to see what searches are suggested?

LADY GAGA IS ONLY ONE STEP ABOVE THE ANTICHRIST!

A day for firm decisions! Right?

2010-02-13T22:58:00.004+08:00

WHO ELSE WATCHED THE LOST PREMIERE? My reaction was pretty much one prolonged scream, sometimes orgasmic, sometimes in denial. I don't know how you people did this for five seasons, I'm already going crazy.

DO NOT BE AFRAID! IT IS A MAGICAL LAND OF SHIRTLESS MEN AND SEX IN ANIMAL CAGES! SOMETIMES THERE'S EVEN PLOT!

I swear, the only thing better than watching LOST is watching other people watch LOST.

(Sawyer never learns the value of a shirt. It's wonderful.)

TRUE LOVE IS MADE THROUGH PHOTOSHOP

2010-02-12T21:54:00.008+08:00

I left this blog to dust didn't I.

There is a reason as to why Twitter is a mini-blog in theory, and without you realising you've become attached to "tweeting" instead of blogging. Secondly I recycle pieces of paper with my ramblings -- when it gets too long I find myself writing on my diary planner.. which is totally an awesome thing and is not a diary, but a planner. SWEAR.

Imma take this chance to congratulate my homie - Zee Rahman - on her flying colours! Yowza!

My cousin called on a Monday afternoon and said, "Hello, you have half an hour to make yourself presentable to me before I come and drag you and my annoyingly indecisive younger brother to the movies. Do not attempt to resist. Afterwards, when your ribcage is bruised from the aforementioned brother's insistent pokes in an obvious attempt at assassination, I will take great delight in forcing you to accompany us to Melda's and making wayward comments concerning your health and weight because I am convinced you have an eating disorder. You will try to sway me with your fancy words, your claims that you have already consumed a meal prior to my spontaneous arrival, but I know better! I know the truth! Eat a fucking brownie, child!"

She doesn't know what she's talking about, I mean, c'mon, I eat like I have a blackhole for a stomach.

That was a good segue right? :>

Oh cool, I've just been retweeted thrice! What a day. Yes, my friends, what a mundane dull braincell-reducing life I lead. Next post I will be updating you with my misadventures in ITB! Or better, a failed match against a newbie in squash!

Spoilers! Spoilers!

2010-01-14T23:35:00.003+08:00

[CAPS SHOULD BE UP SOON WHEN INTERNET DOESN'T ACT UP]

God, it's been hours since I finished and I am still wrecked. WRECKED. The ending went beyond tragic and into this horrifying emotional bleakness I can't even begin to fathom. It was so overwhelmingly hopeless -- usually with sad endings I'm able to think "if only they'd done X instead of Y" and I can imagine happy AUs in my head -- but here there was nothing to change. IRIS was always going to win.

From annebeans:

I cannot help but think and replay in my head what will happen after the last minute of the drama. Seung Hee waiting by that lighthouse, eager and happy and slowly getting puzzled and worried not seeing him. And calling his phone and nobody picking up, and growing more and more panicky. And then driving off, to look for him, and seeing his car on the road, and finding him there, dead, with a ring for her.

My God.

That is horrific.

Losing him a second time, knowing it was her defiance of IRIS that got him killed -- honestly, I would've preferred a double-death or even suicide. Anything rather than this hanging knowledge of what's waiting for her in the car. I can't even... it just makes me so depressed.

God, I keep scrolling up to his face and seeing the weariness there, the helplessness of only being able to watch her from a distance as he dies.

When you think about it, they pretty much never had a chance -- Seung Hee was the NSS founder's daughter, Hyun Joon's parents were nuclear physicists working on the wrong project at the wrong time -- their paths were inevitable from the moment they were born. They couldn't even have been pig farmers if they wanted, not with Baek San puppeting their strings. This is a whole new definition of doom. This is a whole new stratosphere.

Other thoughts on eps 16-20 (I'm trying to stay coherent but I reserve the right to burst into tears and start wailing "HYUN JOON!!!!" at random intervals):

Sa Woo managed to break my heart in the end. I started crying (and then never stopped) when he redeemed himself and tossed Hyun Joon that clip and smiled -- there was so much joy in it -- taking on the bad guys together like old times. I should've known as soon as they started smiling in a gunfight it would end in tears. ;________; It killed me how he finally took responsibility in the one moment it would've been okay not to. He'd always justified and rationalized and blamed others for his fall from grace, but it was his last moments, when he could've allowed himself the comfort of happy memories, that he finally owned up to what he'd done and how he'd hurt his best friends. It was the slow slide that really got me -- happy BFF funtimes, then the building resentment, remembering them kiss while he looked on, then flash after flash of all the horrible things he'd said and done. Choking on blood to get out "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Oh, Sa Woo.

Sun Hwa, as always, was pure class. I loveloveloved the goodbye between her and Hyun Joon in ep 17. I'm used to secondary women as ruthless harpies who don't care if the hero is crying blood by the time they get him (as long as they get him). I thought it was very refreshing and adult that Hyun Joon and Sun Hwa parted on good terms with mutual understanding. It seemed clear some part of Hyun Joon did love her (or at least could have) but they both understood that with Seung Hee back in the picture it would never happen, so Sun Hwa gracefully took her leave and Hyun Joon didn't try to insult her with empty platitudes or promises. You go, guys! Look at you acting all mature like real adults.

I know it's terrible of me but I kinda lol'ed at T.O.P killing tech girl. It was just another moment of IRIS realism, so rare in other dramas -- no, the handsome assassin isn't really in love with you, he's a sociopath who will snap your neck when you're of no further value.

One of the things that stuck with me is how Hyun Joon consistently refused to become a monster, yet it didn't actually help him sleep at night. There were so many solemn warnings about slippery slopes and gazing into the abyss and etc etc but Hyun Joon always rose above it and you'd think karma would cut him a break every once in awhile. CLEARLY THAT WAS TOO MUCH TO ASK. Even when he did everything right, it still hurt. Turning the other cheek only haunted him. Sparing Baek San's life was only fodder for future regrets. Even when the terrorists were dead and Seung Hee was alive and everything seemed to go back to normal, he was still PTSD'ing on a bustling street and clinging to Seung Hee like a lifeline -- it broke my heart when she disappeared for less than a day (a day!) and he called her over and over and when she finally reappeared he was almost shaking with relief. Even if Seung Hee soothed the nightmares, love alone couldn't fix him. He was so incredibly, incredibly messed up, and it was all the more heartbreaking because he stubbornly refused to become what everyone predicted. He was a good man, and it still wasn't enough in the end.

(I'm pretty confident he was only killed as a message to her. He'd been all up in IRIS's business and they never came after him, not even when he was plotting revenge on one of their own, not even when they knew he had access to their secrets, like their member list on the USB drive they sent TOP to retrieve. They had two years to go after him but didn't. He was only killed after Seung Hee refused to join/didn't follow orders. That screams message to me.)

I keep coming back to the inevitability of everything, how things were pretty much set in stone after IRIS moved on them. Because there was only ever two choices there. Refuse, and suffer the consequences, or be kept under IRIS' thumb and keep living the nightmare they were so desperate to escape. They should've just killed themselves, they were never going to have peace. I should stop watching so many samurai movies.

Musing on it... I keep saying "IRIS" like it's this faceless borg (I can't help it, it's just so much like the mob, THEY NEVER FORGET), but what if the sniper order came from Baek San?? He was only ever hospitalized, right? And Hyun Joon said himself that a man like that would never change, he should've killed him when he had the chance. What if Hyun Joon was prophecizing his own death? Maybe it's not the mysterious black cloaks of IRIS who wanted Seung Hee so badly, maybe it was just Baek San using them as justification. What if it was Baek San ordering a hit on his quasi-daughter's soon-to-be-fiancee??

I admit, when we first learned Seung Hee's connection to IRIS, I kinda snorted and thought "that's it?" I mean, Baek San paid for your college education so if he asked you to kill Hyun Joon you'd be in a real bind? Seriously? Buy him a fruit basket and move on.

Then I thought about Baek San's original order in ep four... how it would've gone to Seung Hee if Sa Woo hadn't taken it. Knowing what we do about the relationship between BS/SH/IRIS, if Sa Woo had been a loyal friend and refused... we might've been watching a much bloodier romance between Hyun Joon and Seung Hee.

Something pointed out by Mousie -- all these people died for the unification talks which may or may not come to anything. Even Hyun Joon didn't think they were worth it (if his conversation with the president is anything to go by). It reminds me of Capital Scandal, where you-know-who died to keep a secret that was made public in the very next episode. The futility and bitterness is just boggling. They didn't die for a noble cause and they won't be remembered except by those who knew them. It was just politics.

I want to believe Seung Hee will do what she did last time -- pick up the pieces of her life, rejoin NSS, and move on. I want to think if she can recover from his death once, she can do it again. Except I honestly don't believe it. Last time she had to be hospitalized. Last time she still had Sa Woo's shoulder to cry on and Baek San looking out for her. And last time she didn't think it was her fault. How do you recover from that?

I kinda wish the sequel would be about Seung Hee or Sun Hwa, or even both, getting mercilessly, passionately, implacably furious and bringing hell to IRIS's door. No redemption story or power of love or moral message about the real victims of revenge. Just one of them -- or both -- deciding to take IRIS the fuck down, and god forbid anyone standing in their way.

Wouldn't that be awesome?

I'm going to end this entry on that thought, rather than linger on Seung Hee waiting to find the car.

2009-11-10T20:46:00.001+08:00

I've been reduced to the most primitive form of communication.

Email.

Well, email and Twitter, but there's no way to say "hey, if you want to talk, comment and we can catch up" without sounding like some kind of attention whore. So, my inbox is actually being used now. Make it feel less lonely?

Why the Vampire Diaries will delight you to the very depths of your twisted black heart.

2009-10-31T23:15:00.003+08:00

alf;lsdfjkl;sdfjsdff so I kept promising people I'd post "a few quotes" of the most egregious sections of The Vampire Diaries, and I'm sure everyone is surprised that I went overboard and started recapping. In my defense, these books are like pringles. Pretentious, overblown, crack-coated pringles.

Please be warned of spoilers for the entire series, spoilers I'm sure will appear in the show sooner or later.

First: Elena is awesome. Let's get that straight right away. They completely lobotomized her for the TV series, so just ignore that version. It's like the scriptwriter looked at the books and saw ELENA SNARLING AT AN EVIL IMMORTAL SHAPESHIFTING VAMPIRE and then said, hmm, we could go with that... but instead let's have her read quietly in the corner!

In the books Elena is a pretty, popular, ruthless blonde with no qualms stepping on other people to get her way. (Much like Caroline of the show, interestingly enough.) She rules the school and everyone knows it. Her outfits are perfect. Her minions are devoted bootlickers. She reduces other girls to tears as she steals their homecoming dates right out from under them -- during the homecoming dance.

Here's her take on things:

After all, what was more important than boys? They were the mark of how popular you were, of how beautiful you were. And they could be useful for all sorts of things. Sometimes they were exciting, but usually that didn't last long.

Most boys, Elena reflected, were like puppies. Adorable in their place, but expendable.

This girl is like the Xena of social climbing. She demands respect from her clique, fully expects the attention of everyone in the room, and routinely pulls these Jedi-like POW psychological tricks to keep her flunkies in line:

Frances's eyes were blazing, and her cheeks were flushed with color as she approached the three girls at the table.

"Oh, Elena, you've got to hear this!"

Elena smiled at her, polite but not too intimate. Frances ducked her brown head. "I mean… can I join you? I've just heard the wildest thing about Stefan Salvatore."

"Have a seat," said Elena graciously.

Is that not fierce? You have to admire a bitch like that.

So Elena is strutting her stuff and making other people cry, only to meet her match in the school's mysterious new hunk, Stefan Salvatore. Stefan has a "lean, flat-muscled body, faded jeans he probably had to peel off at night, tight t-shirt, and a leather jacket of unusual cut" (not to mention "dark hair like one of the roiling storm clouds behind him" and "a mouth to keep you awake at night" and oh my god I can't go on). Stefan proves his cool by backtalking the history teacher.

As queen bee, Elena instantly decides she must have him, even -- especially -- because he doesn't seem to want her back.

Elena watched him as he went. He'd deliberately turned away from her. He'd snubbed her on purpose, and in front of Caroline, who'd been watching like a hawk. Tears burned in her eyes, but at that moment only one thought burned in her mind.

She'd have him, even if it killed her. If it killed both of them, she'd have him.

Stefan can move like lightning, hypnotize people to his will, and only venture in sunlight wearing a special ring, but Elena can't understand why he's such a brooding, moody enigma.

She tilted her head far back to look at the trapdoor in the ceiling, and heard a soft, distinct intake of breath. When she turned, his gaze was fixed on her exposed throat; the look in his eyes confused her. But the next moment his face hardened, closing her out.

I mean, what on earth could he be hiding?!

Fun fact: she doesn't realize the truth until the end of the book, when she walks in on him literally GNAWING ON A BIRD, BLOOD DRIPPING FROM HIS MOUTH. I'm all for romantic escapism, seriously, but is there ANYONE IN THE WORLD who could walk in on their boyfriend EATING A BIRD and not think "wait a minute, maybe I need to rethink some of my choices"??

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Before the munchies, there is true love.

Elena felt Stefan's lips meet hers.

And… it was as simple as that. All questions answered, all fears put to rest, all doubts removed. What she felt was not merely passion, but a bruising tenderness and a love so strong it made her shake inside. It would have been frightening in its intensity, except that while she was with him, she could not be afraid of anything.

She had come home.

This was where she belonged, and she had found it at last. With Stefan, she was home.

They've known each other a month, by the way.

Then she saw the thin strip of silk, folded over and over on itself neatly in one corner. She drew it out and ran it between her fingers. It was the apricot ribbon she'd lost the second day of school.

Oh, Stefan. Tears stung her eyes, and in her chest love welled up helplessly, overflowing.

That long ago? You cared about me that long ago? Oh, Stefan, I love you…

A MONTH.

What she hadn't known in the beginning (FOUR WEEKS AGO) is that Stefan never meant to shun her -- he was actually just hiding his deep emo pain because she was the spitting image of his first love, Katherine -- the vampire who sired him hundreds of years ago in renaissance Italy.

WHO ALSO SIRED HIS EVIL OLDER BROTHER, DAMON.

Who can turn into a horny crow.

I hope you're following this.

friend who wants to be shrouded with much anonymity: Do you mind spoilers? I'm reading the Wiki and it's just. a sdl;fkja;slkjalkjs
Me: tell me, tell me!
friend who wants to be shrouded with much anonymity: It's talking about how the fight between Stefan and Damon got started. "In Renaissance Italy, the brothers both fell in love with a young vampire named Katherine, who later committed suicide after the two brothers turned against each other. They fought for her love and she decided to choose them both as lovers and exchanged blood with them, turning them both vampires. Fueled with rage, the brothers killed each other but woke up as vampires."
friend who wants to be shrouded with much anonymity: I LOVE IT. I love that she was like, hmm, I could choose one... but, no, I'll take both instead!
Me: fsdhfklsdjfhsdklfjsdf LOL
friend who wants to be shrouded with much anonymity: as;ldkfjasl;kj oh my god some of this is coming back now
friend who wants to be shrouded with much anonymity: Do you mind more spoilers?
Me: *greedy* tell me everything!
Me: oh, god, stefan comparing katherina and elena: "where katherine had been a white kitten, elena was a snow-white tigress."
friend who wants to be shrouded with much anonymity: So, Elena's torn between the two brothers but bad things are happening. One night, some dark presence chases her off a bridge and her car goes into the river. She drowns and they all think it's Damon who did this. But it's not and they start investigating more and, in the third book, it leads them to Honoria Fell's tomb and:
friend who wants to be shrouded with much anonymity: "and it turns out to be Katherine, who in fact did not die centuries before as the brothers had thought. Instead, she had faked her death, having her maid bring ashes from the kitchen, lay them out on her dress, and put her lapis lazuli ring on top, while she had another forged, making it looked as if she had killed herself. Since then, Stefan has lived with the guilt of her death, while Katherine has spent that time seething with anger. She decides to take revenge, and is jealous of Elena for "stealing" both brothers' love."
friend who wants to be shrouded with much anonymity: AWESOME.
Me: *SHRIEKS WITH LAUGHTER*\
Me: OMG IT'S A KDRAMA
Me: YES
friend who wants to be shrouded with much anonymity: IT GETS WORSE, TOO.
Me: i SO hope they keep that for the tv show
Me: TELLMETELLME
friend who wants to be shrouded with much anonymity: Katherine and Elena fight, ending the fight only when Elena knocks Katherine into the sunlight without her ring. But Elena doesn't have one, either.
friend who wants to be shrouded with much anonymity: So, they both turn to ash, but Elena has time to tell Stefan and Damon to stop fighting, to take care of each other, and that she loved Stefan and didn't want to hurt him like Katherine had.
friend who wants to be shrouded with much anonymity: End book three. Start of book four, six months later, titled: DARK REUNION.

I CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP. I REALLY CAN'T. A fifteenth century lady vampire shipped her own threesome and then faked her death to become a dark vengeful force while her boytoys roamed high school for fresh romance. HILARIOUS. In flashbacks they actually argue about who gets to be her husband and she tries to woo them to her wicked poly ways:

"This is my choice! I love you both, and I will not give either of you up. Now we all three will be together, and be happy."

"Happy—" Stefan choked out.

"Yes, happy! The three of us will be companions, joyous companions, forever." Her voice rose with elation, and the light of a radiant child shone in her eyes. "We will be together always, never feeling sickness, never growing old, until the end of time! That is my choice."

But they are TOO OVERCOME WITH MUTUAL ~~LUST~~ HATRED! She "kills" herself in hopes it'll bring them together (?!?!) but instead they turn on each other in the most homoerotic way possible.

Emphasis mine:

"I don't remember how we got back to the house, but suddenly I had my sword. We were fighting. I wanted to destroy that arrogant face forever, to kill him. I remember my father shouting from the house. We fought harder, to finish it before he reached us.

"And we were well matched. But Damon had always been stronger, and that day he seemed faster, too, as if he had changed more than I had. And so while my father was still shouting from the window I felt Damon's blade get past my guard. Then I felt it enter my heart."

Elena stared, aghast, but he went on without pause. "I felt the pain of the steel, I felt it stab through me, deep, deep inside. All the way through, a hard thrust. And then the strength poured out of me and I fell. I lay there on the paved ground."

He looked up at Elena and finished simply, "And that is how… I died."

Elena sat frozen, as if the ice she'd felt in her chest earlier tonight had flooded out and trapped her.

"Damon came and stood over me and bent down. I could hear my father's cries from far away, and screams from the household, but all I could see was Damon's face. Those black eyes that were like a moonless night. I wanted to hurt him for what he had done to me. For everything he had done to me, and to Katherine." Stefan was quiet a moment, and then he said, almost dreamily, "And so I lifted my sword and I killed him. With the last of my strength, I stabbed my brother through the heart."

Then they wake side-by-side in the family tomb, which is just icing on the throbbing gay penis cake.

A few centuries years later they bring their feud to Mystic Falls, where Damon is not at all pleased to be missing the action with Katherine's nubile young doppelganger. The author is totally in love with Damon, by the way, because he gets all these loving descriptions of how sexy and enchanting he is:

Nevertheless, she was not fooled. Charming as he seemed, Damon was dangerous almost beyond imagination. That graceful, lounging body was ten times stronger than a human's. Those lazy dark eyes were adapted to seeing perfectly at night. The long-fingered hand that had pulled her up to the roof could move with impossible quickness. And, most disturbing of all, his mind was the mind of a killer. A predator.

(...)

He laughed suddenly, and Elena's heart jerked and began pounding hard. God, he was beautiful. Handsome was too weak and colorless a word. As usual, the laughter lasted only a moment, but even when his lips had sobered it left traces in his eyes.

"I do believe you," he said, relaxing, looking around the graveyard. Then he turned back and held out a hand to her. "You're too good for my brother," he said casually.

You see, Damon admires her spirit and strength, and he sees in her the potential to be an evil megalomaniac (which is a hilarious commentary on high school Mean Girls when you think about it). He wants to rule the world with her, "feared and worshipped by all the weaker souls." DIRECT QUOTE. He wants her to be QUEEN OF THE SHADOWS.

"My brother," he went on, "is a fool. He thinks that because you look like Katherine you're weak and easily led like her. But he's wrong. I could feel your anger from the other side of town. I can feel it now, a white light like the desert sun. You have strength, Elena, even as you are. But you could be so much stronger..."

(...)

"Why not?" he whispered. "Why not try it, Elena? Be honest. Isn't there a part of you that wants to?" His dark eyes were full of a heat and intensity that held her transfixed, unable to look away. "I can waken things inside you that have been sleeping all your life. You're strong enough to live in the dark, to glory in it. You can become a queen of the shadows. Why not take that Power, Elena? Let me help you take it."

Damon/Elena is everything I pretend to hate about romance novels (yet secretly eat like candy). He's the bad boy! She's the feisty heroine! He's like, "be mine or I'll slaughter your entire family" and Elena is all "no! no! well, maybe."

By the end of the second book I really just wanted her to take his hand and go on a killing spree and become his murderous bloodsoaked vampire queen. It doesn't help that in the show he's played by Ian Somerhalder, who strokes Elena's hair and makes it look like porn. I was talking to the anonymity-blobbed friend about how much I loved them and she was like, you know it'll never happen, right? You know you're shipping the impossible, right? And all my deep and intelligent opinions were reduced to "...but it's Ian Somerhalder!"

"You just don't want it to be Damon," said Meredith. "I would think you'd be more worried about him being a psycho killer than a diary thief."

"I don't know; killers are sort of romantic. Imagine your dying with his hands around your throat. He'd strangle the life out of you, and the last thing you'd see would be his face." Putting her own hands to her throat, Bonnie gasped and expired tragically, ending up draped across the bed. "He can have me anytime," she said, eyes still closed.

And people worry about teen girls reading Twilight.

(You have to laugh because the other answer is hitting yourself in the face until everything goes numb.)

Anyway, Damon is wrecking havoc in the town, stalking, killing, feeding, framing his brother for murder. He tries to convince Stefan to join the fun, but baby brother is too virtuous (unless he's hungry and you're a bird) and he resists Damon's temptation.

"I've kept track of you over the years," Damon said calmly. He flicked a bit of bark from the sleeve of his leather jacket as casually as he had once arranged his brocade cuffs. "But then, you wouldn't know that, would you? Ah, no, your Powers are as weak as ever."

"Be careful, Damon," Stefan said softly, dangerously. "Be very careful tonight. I'm not in a tolerant mood."

"St. Stefan in a pique? Imagine. You're distressed, I suppose, because of my little excursions into your territory. I only did it because I wanted to be close to you. Brothers should be close."

I really can't convey how gay this whole section is. It's hard to limit my quotes. Stefan hates his brother but thinks of him in the most sexy, flattering terms possible, all while Damon elegantly fiddles with his clothes and basically fucks him with words. It gets even more amazing when Stefan finally loses his temper. Behold:

Kill him, something in Stefan's mind demanded. Kill him, snap his neck, rip his throat to bloody shreds. But he knew Damon had fed very well tonight. His brother's dark aura was swollen, pulsing, almost shining with the life essence he had taken.

HIS BROTHER'S DARK SWOLLEN AURA, PULSING WITH LIFE.

HIS BROTHER'S DARK SWOLLEN AURA, PULSING WITH LIFE.

HIS BROTHER'S DARK SWOLLEN AURA, PULSING WITH LIFE.

Then Damon overpowers him, restrains him, and feeds from his helpless neck, mocking him telepathically for his weakness as he drinks his brother's blood.

...

IT'S JUST AS SLASHY AS IT SOUNDS.

He lashed out savagely, trying to strike at the vulnerable area under Damon's jaw. It did no good; his arms were pinioned behind him, his body immobilized. He was as helpless as a bird under the claws of a lean and expert cat.

You always were stubborn. Perhaps this will convince you. Stefan looked into his brother's face, pale as the frosted-glass windows at the boarding house, and at those black bottomless eyes. Then he felt fingers grasp his hair, jerk his head back, exposing his throat. His struggles redoubled, became frantic.

Don't bother, came the voice in his head, and then he felt the sharp rending pain of teeth. He felt the humiliation and helplessness of the hunter's victim, of the hunted, of the prey. And then the pain of blood being drawn out against his will.

(...)

Then, abruptly, the hands released him and he fell to the ground, onto a bed of damp and moldering oak leaves. Gasping for breath, he painfully got to his hands and knees.

"You see, little brother, I'm stronger than you. Strong enough to take you, take your blood and your life if I wish it. Leave Elena to me, or I will."

Stefan looked up. Damon was standing with head thrown back, legs slightly apart, like a conqueror putting his foot on the neck of the conquered. Those night-black eyes were hot with triumph, and Stefan's blood was on his lips.

FUCK YEAH, STRAIGHT MEN! ROLL AROUND THE DIRT! EXCHANGE MORE FLUIDS! You can't tell me the author didn't know what she was doing. It's so subtle.

Hatred filled Stefan, such hatred as he had never known before. It was as if all his earlier hatred of Damon had been a drop of water to this crashing, foaming ocean.

OH GOD WAIT HERE'S AN EVEN BETTER ONE

The hot pinpoint of fury inside him burned brighter than ever, pouring forth its brilliance like a whole galaxy of stars. He knew, somehow, that it threatened Damon's darkness.

LOLOLOLOL. To recap, Damon has a swollen, pulsing aura of darkness, which Stefan battles with his pouring, foaming oceans of feeling. Anyone wanna take a stab at the gender dynamic here?

There's tons more, but the length of this entry is getting ridiculous. (Let me just say their next epic battle takes place while they are both birds. Why the bird fixation? We'll never know.) I highly recommend everyone find this series, because I know you're all self-loathing masochists looking for a cheap thrill, JUST LIKE ME.

And in today's edition of "heroines threatened by barnyard animals..."

2009-08-26T22:17:00.002+08:00

She caught sight of something dark in the branches of the old quince tree in front of the house.

It was a crow, sitting as still as the yellowtinged leaves around it. And it was the thing watching her.

She tried to tell herself that this was ridiculous, but somehow she knew. It was the biggest crow she had ever seen, plump and sleek, with rainbows shining in its black feathers. She could see every detail of it clearly: the greedy dark claws, the sharp beak, the single glittering black eye.

It was so motionless that it might have been a wax model of a bird sitting there. But as she stared at it, Elena felt herself flush slowly, heat coming in waves up her throat and cheeks.

Because it was… looking at her. Looking the way boys looked at her when she wore a bathing suit or a sheer blouse. As if it were undressing her with its eyes.

I AM READING THE VAMPIRE DIARIES.

HELP ME.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CUT OFF MY HEAD FOR MY OWN GOOD.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

2009-07-14T21:37:00.012+08:00

So, I started 'Friend, Our Legend', which promised me rival gangsters in 80s Korea and best-friends-turned-deadly-enemies and Seo Do Young in schoolboy garb. What I didn't know? Before airing, someone apparently decided that a gangster drama needed to be kid-friendly. EVERYTHING IS BLURRED OUT. Seriously -- any hint of blood or violence has been slapped under a blur -- in a gangster drama. I just. What? The fight scenes were blurred. All weapons were blurred. Even the gangster's tattoos were blurred. It went from bizarre to downright hilarious. Don't worry kiddies, that's not a blurred baseball bat, he's just giving that man a CLOUD HUG! TO THE FACE!

My favorite is when the hero drops his cigarette to the ground in one of those artsy close-up moments -- and yes, it's blurred.

WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF THAT SHOT. "As a concerned parent, I had wanted to complain about this gross display of lawlessness, but since you blurred the filter it's clearly not recognizable as a cigarette, which of course my children have never seen."

I know Korean networks can be crazy with censorship (like in a BOF kiss blooper where the director yells at Lee Min Ho to CLOSE HIS MOUTH, thereby answering all my questions about the state of kiss scenes in dramas), but I thought it had to do with demographics and target audience? Do they think a lot of kids are watching historical gangster epics?

THIS IS A FIGHT SCENE.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT Y'ALL BUT I'M REALLY FEELING THE TENSION.

Extremely amusing: some guy's heartfelt yell as he swings his blobbed fist at the enemy. PHOTOSHOP IS COMING FOR YOU, FUCKER!

~~I don't know who he is, but he's hot!~~ It's the James Dean of Korea!

It's actually pretty gorgeous in a desaturated, look-at-me-I-am-srs-give-me-an-award way.

What did this poor guy do to deserve the blur? What if he'd been really looking forward to his appearance on TV? What if his mother had been watching his drama debut? "Yeah mom, I'm the one that's all... vague..."

Watch out! He's armed with indiscernible blurs!!!

THE FOG LEAVES NO SURVIVORS.

"Mommy! I'm scared!" "Don't worry, all weapons are made of bubble wrap."

I'm given to understand they're hardcore rebels because they wear their hats at jaunty angles, defying the 1980s school administration which demands nothing less than impeccable uniforms from its brawling unsupervised hooligans.

SEO DO YOUNG. THE REASON I PUT UP WITH THIS.

Say you blame me.

But on the bright side, from what I saw of the drama was quite good. The DVDs will be my salvation.

You stole my cake? I thought I ate it while I wasn't paying attention.

2009-07-02T23:05:00.001+08:00

I can think of no subtle way to say "it's my birthday! be cheerful with me!", SO: it's my birthday! be cheerful with me! Feel my disgustingly chipper glee.

I have a big chunk of what was left of the cake and I am going to pork myself with that and I am not sharing.

;_;
My family doesn't know it was my birthday yesterday. Thank god there's cake left. *eats to her sad faced * (Note: Edited the day after)

Sometimes the best man for the job is a woman.

2009-06-24T18:30:00.006+08:00

I don't usually do book recs, but meganbmoore pointed my attention to the YA fantasy novel Graceling, by Kristin Cashore, and I am UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH IT. The heroine is a sharp, sarcastic, bad-mannered supernaturally-gifted teenage assassin, and the entire book is like this:

“I’m not going to wear a red dress,” she said.

“It’s the color of sunrise,” Helda said.

“It’s the color of blood,” Katsa said.

Sighing, Helda carried the dress from the bathing room. “It would look stunning, My Lady,” she called, “with your dark hair and your eyes.”

Katsa yanked at one of the more stubborn knots in her hair. She spoke to the bubbles gathered on the surface of the water. “If there’s anyone I wish to stun at dinner, I’ll hit him in the face.”

And that is exactly what she does to her love interest. It's how they bond. They beat the shit out of each other, laughing. It's a game. It's their playtime. He's a funny, observant prince who is completely unconcerned by the fact she's faster, stronger, and more capable:

When she came back minutes later with a great, fat, skinned rabbit, Po had built a fire. The flames cast orange light on the horses and on himself. “It was the least I could do,” Po said, drily, “and I see you’ve already skinned that hare. I’m beginning to think I won’t have much responsibility as we travel through the forest together.”

“Does it bother you? You’re welcome to do the hunting yourself. Perhaps I can stay by the fire and mend your socks, and scream if I hear any strange noises.”

One of Katsa's sore spots is that she doesn't want to get married, or have children:

If she took Po as her husband, she would be making promises about a future she couldn’t yet see. For once she became his wife, she would be his wife forever. And, no matter how much freedom Po gave her, she would always know that it was a gift. Her freedom would not be her own; it would be Po’s to give or to withhold. That he never would withhold it made no difference. If it did not come from her, it was not really hers.

Even when they finally get together, she doesn't change her mind, and he doesn't want her to. They become lovers and partners, trekking through blizzards and defying kings and TAKING ON GODDAMN ARMIES, and at the end of everything Katsa does not get married and become his princess -- instead she starts a worldwide effort to teach girls how to swordfight. How fucking awesome is that shit?

I should know better than to read Amazon reviews, though. "Po was a spineless doormat!" "He loved her so much! And she refused to marry him! That was bad writing." a;lfs;djlfl;jkfl;dfjsdf

I've been neglecting my blog, yes, I'm completely aware of that. But won't you hop on the happy bandwagon with your beloved blogger? No? Okay. Po can just fuck your shit up. Po! Po Po Po. (No, for some obvious reason I cannot take his name seriously.) BUT YOU'D GET USED TO IT. I SWEAR. His real name is Greening Grandemalion. YOU WOULD CALL YOURSELF PO TOO.

If there's anything reality TV taught us, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.

2009-01-14T21:30:00.002+08:00

Because I'm a horrible neglectful blogger. And I lack RL (real life).

As you can see below is the poster for the anticipated 2009 action flick "G.I. Joe". And it sucks major bunghole. You would think that America, being the great cinematic nation it is, would hire someone to make a decent poster for the film.

Here are 5 reasons why this poster alone has turned me off from watching the movie:

1. Why the hell is Dennis Quaid taking up half the poster with his constipated look?

2. Why is a Victoria’s Secret model and a Wayans Brother in this movie?

3. Who hired slutty Sienna Miller to be in this film?

4. Has anyone seen a Channing Tatum film, i.e., “Step Up”, “She’s The Man”? Oh, you haven’t? Good, don’t. He’s as good of an actor as Sohee(from Wondergirls) is a singer. Yea, he’s THAT good.

5. WHERE THE HELL IS ASIA’S “JAMES DEAN?” Isn’t this supposed to be Lee Byung Hyun’s big debut?

If you haven’t found Waldo– I mean Lee Byung Hyun yet, he’s the little white suited man with the mask in the left corner under Quaid’s big ass face.

Back to RL; I am thankful. I've finally played squash first-hand, and I'm thankful that I came out unscathed. There was no other choice than having Fatin as a squash partner slash instructor. Knowing Fatin in one or another someone is bound to be physically bruised.

...

Don't look at me that, Swan Princess. It's enough that I agreed to signing up for the scheme to end your nagging.

Besides sports, I successfully did not pull any sort of unnecessary attention on me while I went to the car back from work with just socks. And I have a lot of socks. (First time it happened, I was wearing the multi-colored toe ones decorated with glitter and peace signs. I AM SO TOTALLY THE COOLEST, Y'ALL CAN'T EVEN TOUCH THIS.) And this happens more than twice.

KASJHKLASHKLADSGHLSD!!!

ASDGDFL;GJA;L

SAFLSGLHLKSHDGL!!

I AM TOTALLY CALM!

MEETING WEIRDO NUMBER TWO AND PORKER MOTHER TOMORROW MORNING! SLATHERED WITH ICE CREAM AND TAKOYAKI. Don't you wanna touch that?

Not enough :D :D to describe. Not enough. ♥ ♥

Also, I'VE WATCHED BOYS OVER FLOWERS! .....I've watched it! How can you take a man with the most ridiculous of perms seriously? His acting may be badass but!! THOSE WAVES OF RIDICULOUS RIDICULOUS PERM. *_____*

Review will soon to come. Somewhat review. And a very delayed Last Friends lengthy review. Not kidding about that, y'all. Brace yourselves next time.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

2009-01-07T09:55:00.002+08:00

I knew that last few weeks ago will not be the last time we will hear from (you). I know that you would continue to take out "harmful lyrics" in the future. But before you do, please think about what you are really taking away. You are taking away our youth. You are taking away that which makes me, us truly happy. However it's not the Ministry or whoever in the government, but KBS.

Wow, I’m amazed at the inept people that make these decisions. Seungri of Big Bang, had his solo banned by KBS. It wasn’t because of a bare chested Seungri, it wasn’t because of the scantily clad girls or Seungri touching his genitals or the suggestive dancing, it wasn’t even banned for the sexual lyrics. Nope, KBS has banned Seungri from performing the current version of Strong Baby because they believe that the word "Crack" used in the song refers to crack cocaine.

Yes.

Take a second to absorb the stupidity. Done? Okay. Obviously, the people in charge at KBS are heavy users of cocaine if they honestly think that this song is, for no reason whatsoever, referring to crack cocaine. I mean, I speak English and that would have been the last thing that came to my mind. In fact, I don’t even know why they say crack in the first place…

Watch the crack performance:

creds to seoulbeats.

YG Ent. has bowed to the idiocy of KBS and changed the word "crack", in Seungri’s solo, "Strong Baby", to "clap". I could have sworn they said that they meant "clap" all along(and "quack" doesn't make sense). They also said that "crack" in the context of the song obviously had no bad meaning. They also said earlier that they wouldn’t change the song.

Man, how could so much flip-flopping happen in 36 hours? Only YG is capable of changing a story 3 different ways. The only thing we know for certain is that no one in YG knows why they used the word "crack" so everyone else should stop trying to figure it out as well.

Meanwhile the below picture has just confirmed my belief and has every butthurt Seungri-lover admitting that he wants to be Justin Timberlake and will stop at nothing to become him.

Ah, I love the smell of unnecessary banning and blatant copying in the morning.

Don't get me wrong. I love Glitter Balls as much as I love the whole group Big Bang itself.

More blabbering. because it's my party and I can meta if I want to.

2009-01-05T20:10:00.000+08:00

I'd really like a guitar. I think that it's rather hard to be dramatic and self-expressing without one.

When I feel troubled, twang.

When I feel inspired, twang.

When I feel like pissing off everyone within a five mile radius, twang.

I would decorate the box will colorful peace stickers and happy faces, as a sort of therapy for my extremely restive moments. And instead of jumping out of my window with a backpack and chunk change, I could just create a tune to the lyrics in my head. Like a hippie without the drugs, because drugs are not cool and make you drool before you drop outta school, fool. Twang.

I also shamefully admit my newest guilty pleasure:

LAST FRIENDS D: (U)

Forget abusive Ryo, Nishihara Aki crushing lesser mortals under her heel, and Mr. "I'm a makeup artist and I shy away from the attention of women" Eita.

What got me the most? Is when Ruka's covering Michiru with a blanket, and it's such a tender, peaceful moment until Ruka sees Michiru crying in her sleep, and in an instant her entire face changes -- like it physically hurts her to see Michiru in pain.

ep 2:

"DON'T TOUCH MY MICHIRU!"

*deep breath*

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

And by the third episode *blubbers* Last Friends is breaking my heart in ways I never expected. I cried twice during ep three. And I wasn't even supposed to! I mean, there weren't any rain scenes or slow-motion running! I'm just a sap.

I'm so used to overblown love triangles full of backstabbing and betrayal that the opposite is wrenching my heart in little pieces -- people who really care about each other, who sacrifice their own feelings again and again so the ones they love can be happy, even if it means giving them up to someone else. BAWL.

First shamefully tear-filled moment: the scene overlooking the ferris wheel. That was the one way I could accept Ruka not manhandling Michiru in the sharehouse and barricading the door -- that she wanted Michuru to be happy, even if it was unhealthy, even though Ruka knew what it meant to let her go when "he only goes overboard sometimes." I thought their conversation was beautifully done, especially since the drama went to the trouble of showing us Ruka and her father earlier, and what exactly it's meant to Ruka to have someone looking out for her without trying to change her decisions. And oh, oh my god. The confrontation over lunch? "Until now, I've never felt loved by anyone." Said straight to the face of someone pining for her since high school. Ouch. Ouch.

And TAKERU. Oh, woobie. Driving them to a romantic evening, then waiting angst-faced in the car as they giggle and bond. WOOBIE.

HOW MUCH DID I LOVE THAT MICHIRU LEFT SOUSUKE HERSELF? I don't watch previews, so I don't know if she sticks to her guns (or, you know, if Ruka goes after Sousuke's ear with a pair of scissors) but that scene at the end, when she RUNS STRAIGHT TO HER GIRLFRIEND'S ARMS?

"Stop saying ill things about my Ruka!"

a;fl;ksdfjlasd;jflsdf ♥ ♥ ♥

Blubbering moment 2: Ruka's face as she just holds her and holds her.

*flails* This drama is turning me into such an emotional wreck. And it's only been three episodes. I think the finale will put me in a coma.

But I couldn't accept the fact that the show would be more heartbreaking I thought I gave it another chance - OH, THAT WENT WELL.

"I decided that while you were protecting Michiru, I would protect you." TAKERU WOOBIE. Don't you know she's a lesbian? Oh, wait, sorry-- I meant she "looks at Michiru like a man." Cough. You're very smooth, show.

"About being alone... everyone is." How depressing does your show have to be, when those are words of comfort.

Read a discussion about Michiru's devotion to Sousuke, and how, after a violent father and alcoholic mother, I'm sure Sousuke's undivided attention did feel like love. His little "I will always be waiting for you" confirmed all my fears and broke me in about six different ways. Of course she hugged him after that. That's probably exactly what she was waiting for. I just can't decide if Sousuke knew it and was manipulating her yet again, or if he was actually speaking as a needy, emotionally twisted fuck up.

"When I kept you and Sousuke apart, the one who ended up being hurt... was myself." God, stab me in the face, it'd be less painful.

Also? I'm honestly disturbed by all the shippy Sousuke/Michiru icons. Seriously, you guys? Seriously? If Sousuke were played by a beer-bellied truck driver with facial warts, would you still find their abusive relationship epic and romantic? I want Ruka to cut off his ear.

Last friends. You will be stimulated. In your brain. -- Currently debating with self whether to continue Last Friends marathon but ungh how can I resist my straight lesbians. *s-sob*

I bought myself a parrot. The parrot talked. But it did not say, "I'm hungry." So it died.

2009-01-01T01:51:00.005+08:00

After briefly flirting with caps, italics, and text aligned in ways that aren't natural, I figured the best way to convey my joy was with simple, grammatically correct sentences, preferably if they were short and easy to understand.

Then I decided to screw that idea.

hAppY nU yer 2 U d1rtY SeXY bEaStS I CaLL fRieNds!11 ♥ ♥

And to a friend who lied a fiendish lie about her birth date, pfft happy belated. Belated because the aforementioned belated celebrant liiiiied to me. You know who you are, and no, haven't forgiven so no talking. Pah!

2009 started out pretty rough on me. I missed out on two of the most important events in my lack of entertainment life!

will edit when I feel like hurting myself with the editing. as;lfhasdgg

my brain belongs to Korea hands down

2008-12-30T21:33:00.005+08:00

Alright. Chill. I've got a blog post cracking up but I won't guarantee you it will come out today or the day after. You know, it's kinda hard refreshing your memory of yesterday's mind-blasting event -- you heard me, mind-blasting because the SBS Festival was that goddamn good *_______* -- after so much had happened all within five hours.

I'm warning you the next real post you won't like it at all.

GUESS WHAT -- I AM SO CONFIDENT I SAW IT RIGHT IN THE FANCAMS. I MAY NOT BE THE BEST LIP READER BUT AM QUITE FUCKING SURE THEY SANG "I GOT CHUUUUU UNDUH MY SKIN~".

But that part is just the icing of yesterday's festival. ♥ ♥

Click to enlarge.

Boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

2008-12-21T21:21:00.002+08:00

For an entire fortnight, I only ate what I called 'nuclear meals'. These were meals made entirely by combining random things from cans in bowls and microwaving them until they suited my somewhat dubious standards of 'done'. Water was not an acceptable additive; dried spices were. The idea was that these were the things I'd all be eating during the holiday, so I might as well get used to them now. Nutritionally, this is near-suicidal, but my mother let me do it anyway, because she glanced at me eating the 'nuclear meal' once and walk past by like it's the norm thing to do.

In an entirely less surreal news, swimming yesterday at Empire Hotel seemed fun. I say 'seemed' because even though I joined in the group I felt like not swimming. No, really, I know how to swi-- dive, I know how to dive up and down a pool but the mood wasn't right .

Family and I had a somewhat quality time together but I had to act like some teenage chick who just hit puberty again(Aah, the dark times). Sorry, family, but I assure you there was much listening to Linkin Park involved to prove my guilt. Sorry, brother, for snapping at you. Sorry, mom, for giving you cold shoulders. Sorry, dad, for.. -- well, you triggered this but I'm sorry nonetheless.

Well anyway how're y'all during the holidays? Judging from how little you update you guys are having the time of your lives huh. While I will be... fusing my skin with the mattress. Yes, through the quilt and bedsheets. I'm bored to tears, man. Oh I finished reading The Summerhouse and currently reading The Kite Runner and Monstrous Regiment,
ʎɐʍ ʇɐɥʇ looɔ ɯ,ı ǝsnɐɔ,

My hormones don't rage. They get mad sometimes, but then they just stop speaking to each other.

2008-12-18T23:13:00.003+08:00

I can't stop. It's like crack. Hello, my name is Nabilah, and I have an obsession problem. Which results the C: drive to be sucked out of life. By life, I mean 'Heck, I have less than 400 MB left to spare BUT I'M AS HAPPY AS A CLAM AND I STILL KEEP ON KILLING MY LAPTOP :D :D'.

The joy of a jobless college graduate who thought she has alll the time she has with pretty boys and more pretty boys(and games, but that's only a very very minor fraction) sort of ends after like, roughly a month after the last paper.

I feel like dying. I need a job. When do I get a legal driver's license, dang it.

"Your arm's off!" "It's only a flesh wound."

2008-12-18T20:23:00.006+08:00

Monday, tennis in the evening. It was only Fatin, Farhan, Mush, Zatty and I. First it was serving. Then it was not getting the ball over the fence. Now it's serving again. These hands are not made for tennis.

Fatin if you sit down and watch has a habit of throwing balls at you in a certain pose. One leg swept behind, while the other stood on toes. She's dubbed "Swan Princess". We had a good laugh and moved on, but I think the pet name works out well for her because "Swan Princess who flails in her Fatin-failz and screeches" fits in her personality like a glove.

Tuesday, I was temporarily a "Nabil". A friend's dad had much fun referring me as a male. So did the rest of friend's family. Slept over aforementioned friend's ward with Fatin and we had the most depressing outdoor fun on high-rise Shanghai-esque bridges, therapeutic gardens, and random places. But I had more fun barely had an hour's sleep, while listening to constant tappings of a keyboard, being sandwiched between two heavy sleeping beings, frigid coldness that shoots to your bones and.. farts-into-my-face. I am never going to agree to any sleepovers in a hospital ward ever in my whole life.

Good luck with the shaved ankle, friend whom I better think should be shrouded with much anonymity lest she might not like being put under the spotlight so she would appear at freakish times with crutches under her arms while holding something akin to a meat tender(er?).

*yawn* I am really sleepy! Explains the lack of animation in this entry.

However a wink of sleep can never make me forget of my fangirly guilt. Ugh.

Oh the humanity!

The boys of SHINee sing, dance, and make smexy to the camera as they perform their version of Rain’s “Rainism” during their radio stint on MBC’s Simsimtapa hosted by Super Junior’s Shindong.

Just a few weeks ago, the Minister for Health, Welfare and Family Affairs has asked Rain to edit the lyrics of his controversial song calling it “dangerous to teenagers” due to its implicit sexual content. It was okay until you banned DBSK's Mirotic.

You have gone too far, Mr. Minister, sir. You are ruining our noraebang(karaoke) experience! How do you expect us to sing “Mirotic” without the line, ‘I got chuuuuu unduh mah skin~’?! How can the boys of SHINee enjoy “Rainism” once Rain removes ‘magic stick’ from his song? Taemin likes singing that part! But I guess you would not know that because clearly you do not know what the youth wants.

The youth of today, we like ‘magic sticks’ and ‘crystals’. Harry Potter an international and well loved young wizard likes it too. We also like kissing for a millisecond. Ask TOP and he can tell you the joy of brushing a fraction of his lips to the opposite sex. We like getting involve in “scandals”! Have you seen the video footage of Junsu clapping Taeyeon’s back at Hollywood Bowl? Who needs Edison Chen when you have that!

We like exciting things in life such as holding hands and piggy back rides! Are you going to take that away from us too? I heard that G-Dragon was honored as one of the “Most Influential Men of 2008”. Think about that. "Bumpin', grindin', perfect timin'" didn't sound sexual enough to you?

But it’s too late for that now, Mr. Minister. Judging by Minho’s expression in this video (yes, people he has feelings too) we can all say that Rain’s Magic Stick has surely penetrated these boys.

...

That just sounded so wrong. \:D/ \:D/

hardcore, thanks for asking.

2008-12-10T15:54:00.006+08:00

Did you know wikipedia has a section just for female wartime crossdressers?

There is, of course, Joan of Arc, the illiterate peasant girl in donated scraps of knight's armor who reversed the tide of the Hundred Years' War. She fought with ARROW WOUNDS IN HER NECK and "withstood a blow from a stone cannonball to her helmet as she climbed a scaling ladder." When captured, her escape attempts included JUMPING FROM A 70 FOOT TOWER. Eventually she was tried and burned at the stake at nineteen (nineteen!!), and was such a goddamn badass motherfucker that, just to be sure, they burned her ashes again.

(I figure even if she wasn't a battle Amazon (which I do like to believe -- you can't disprove it!) she was still an illiterate crossdressing peasant who made herself a place in history at the age when the most of us were passing notes in class. XD Have you read about her trial? FUCKING AMAZING. She was so sharp she totally stumped all her interrogators. I can't believe she accomplished so much by nineteen. Nineteen. I'M EIGHTEEN AND FIVE MONTHS. In my entire life I will never be as incredible as she was by this age.)

Carin du Rietz ran away from home three times and disguised herself as a man to join the royal guard. She was eventually hit on so much by women and men that she revealed herself to the king, who lol'ed and gave her a husband.

Elisa Bernerström was a maid who married a soldier, and joined his regiment under a male name "as she had decided to live and to die with her husband." She kept fighting even after he was killed in action, only stopping when they discovered her true identity and fired her -- and then she learned her husband wasn't killed at all, just captured. They reunited when he was released from prison. Awww!

Ulrika Eleonora Stålhammar was one of six daughters left in poverty after her father died. Instead of marrying, she stole a horse and enlisted in the army. She eventually found love with a maid, Maria Lonnman, and though tried in court for her deeeeviant homosexuality, the judges gave her just eight days in prison because her love was "of the purest, most spiritual kind, a union of virtue." Yay historical femslash!

Deborah Sampson joined the Continental Army in 1782 and took two musket balls to the thigh during battle. She refused hospital treatment, fearing exposure, and removed them herself using a penknife and sewing needle. (Holy shit.) She was eventually discovered, but GEORGE WASHINGTON honorably discharged her from service, and post-war she had her good buddy PAUL REVERE petition on her behalf to get soldier's pension. He succeeded. She was the first woman to receive it.

Sri Suriyothai was a Thai queen who donned men's clothes and followed her husband into battle. ON A WAR ELEPHANT.

Kawashima Yoshiko was a crossdressing princess who became a Japanese spy, executed as a traitor and now living on in television adapations portrayed by Kuroki Meisa. Her adopted father is said to have been an espionage agent and mercenary adventurer. Aw, the family business.

Pauline Cushman was an American actress and spy for the Union Army who concealed battle plans in her shoes. XD I just-- I thought that was awesome.

Catalina de Erauso fled from a nunnery to dress in men's clothes and become a soldier. Her nickname was "The Nun Lieutenant" and she was granted special dispensation from the Pope to dress in drag. AWESOME.

Mollie Monroe is my favorite: she was a teenager in the Old West who disguised herself as a man and ran away from home to search for her boyfriend. When she discovered him murdered, she hunted for his killers. When she couldn't find them, she turned her attention to the needy: helping prostitutes, pistolwhipping through the pussies of the army, and tracking down deadbeat dads (She then led him out of the bar, tied him to her horse and dragged him all the way back to his house, staying overnight to make sure he wouldn't leave the house again.) Battling alcoholism and gambling addiction, she was thrown in an insane asylum. So she did what any woman would do: tried to burn the motherfucker down. She was sent to jail, then another asylum. Which she escaped. During all these crossdressing, hard-drinking bandit-thwarting vigilante hunts, she found time to get married and open a resort.

Best part? Mollie Monroe was despised by most of Prescott's high society women, for what they viewed as "manly manners" and, as a popular publication of the time said, "morals that are dissolute".

HA!

There's also Nadezhda Durova, who fought in Russian army since 1806 till 1816, made an outstanding career, got more or less accepted by public in this quality and published a pretty interesting memoirs about it. The woman so hardcore she frightened her own family, whose childhood toys were guns and sabers. Awesome.

Their badassery is crazy.

My mother was crazy. I don't mean "My mother was crAAazy!" I mean "We the members of the jury."

2008-12-07T22:38:00.004+08:00

So younger cousin is always talking about how fun gaming is and I decided, you know, HEY, I THINK MY LIFE COULD DO WITH SOME FRUSTRATION, LET'S TRY VIDEO GAMES and bought a couple of game consoles, rec-ed by A-niche and Dr Jackyll. :))

EGM Employee: So did you have any games in mind?
Me: (knowledgeable and wordy) I heard Final Fantasy is worth a try.
EGM Employee: They're pretty good. They're T-games on the R6X label of the Master of Product-Based RPGs Commercially Distributed for the Aeon Flux Cerberus Spiderman spinoff of Rent Code H. What's your skill level?
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: Y-yesterday I conquered the rolly wheel.

In my greedy greedy hands I now have the SILENT HILL game(expect silent screamings) and also KINGDOM HEARTS 2 (o-on beginner level) because of course when you can play in dark complicated worlds of blood and death and swords I want cartoon characters with bright colors and bad voice acting.

*___*

I HATE ADI.

My days will be filled with silent screechings in head whilst playing Silent Hill.

In other non-RPG news, I am growing accustomed to having unexpected guests crashing my house especially, Fakhri, Mezz, Nuar and Zee considering how quickly they made a second home here. They're slowly growing attached to my family(somewhat) that Mezz and Nuar basically followed us since we step foot out the house this afternoon.

Family and them bonded. In a way. From Tungku beach to Berakas to Kiulap Mall to watching Bolt. Yup. Proud to say my family has their own stalkers. :))

AND I'M GETTING BETTER! BE CHIPPER WITH ME! :)))

I tend to overuse ":))" but I can't help that it's so expressive! :))

GAMERS OUT THERE WHO READ THIS BLOG, REC ME GAMES WHILE I'M STILL PUMPED. THE SHOUTBOX WON'T RUN AWAY, SO DON'T BE SHY.

Lastly to the muslims, salam aidiladha. Hee, I've always wanted to part of witness to the Qorban tapi nada jua hajat ani tah kan sampai. :(

You can call me X. My name doesn't really matter.

2008-12-04T22:43:00.004+08:00

I am a miserable worm. I am worm lint. I am toe dirt. I deserve to be eaten by hyenas. Then to be vomitted back out when I am phlegm-free. My Totoro and Howl's Moving Castle DVDs are nowhere to be found, and the kitchen is out of chicken and potatoes plus I'll still be breathing through one nostril when I have my undang undang class tomorrow afternoon.

The fandom just had to die of all sorts of activities when I'm bedridden. Just had to. I can't even play games without seeing the characters morph into something much looking like randomly moving blobs.

But I'm thankful I don't have iron allergies because if I eat enough meat, I will actually start to cry blood. I'll have bloody tears rolling down my cheeks. This also will freak out more goths than I really care to think about, although it's going to be funny as heck, all things considered.

spinning in triangles

2008-12-04T13:16:00.003+08:00

Am bored, and deathly sick so gonna do this tag game before I forget yet again, before black out from meds.

Name the latest book you bought:

The Summerhouse, by Jude Deveraux.

What is your fullname?

Siti Nabilah binti Johari

Name the person you want to meet in real life or the first time:

Too many. But as for the not so famous people, probably Waya. She's Canadian. EH!

Christina or Britney?

Britney.

Do you do your own laundry?

No. I lock myself in my room on a daily basis.

The most exciting place you want to go?

I don't know. Where there's long flowy trees, lakes, dormant volcanoes, snow. Oh, ah, yeah, like Japan or something. Or Jeju Island. They have pretty, clear azure waters with fishies!

Hugs or kisses?

Neither. Not a touchy feely person.

8 things I am passionate about:

- My singing dancing Korean boys.
- My collections of unnecessary insignificant objects
- The usual people
- Delectable dishes! salmonteriyakidonnyums!
- Colour green.
- I ran out of hobbies. I'm a net addict, what do ya expect?
- stuff
- more stuff

8 things you say too often:

- what the hell
- OHMYGODOHSHI--!
- Ooh~ or Ahh (words showing much fascination)
- and five others are keymashes.

8 books I've read recently:

What books? I read fics. Pixel-on-a-screen fics.

8 songs I could listen to over and over again:

- Astor Piazzolla's Libertango
- Ilac's Goodbye Romance
- SHINee's Replay (Boom track)
- Big Bang's Number 1
- Big Bang's Heaven
- Arctic Monkey's Mardy Bum (live)
- The Academy Is... - Rumored Nights
- Family Force 5's Love Addict (Y)(Y)(Y)(Y) HAHAHA I bet two certain people would be freaked out if they remember.

8 things I learned last year:

- Get as many empty files.
- To never leave valuables behind even though there're familiar faces around.
- That no matter how many times you've stalked your neighbour and taking their pictures.. they will definitely turn to their backs and see you with a camera. With, or without flash.
- Never attempt to lure a monitor lizard out of a drain by shoving your ungloved hand into a bucket of raw meat, then holding it out to the giant, flesh-eating lizard. Not if you enjoy having the same number of fingers that you started out with, that is. I managed to pull back before I lost something, but it was a somewhat closer call than I really liked.
- That my neighbour's cat that is old, male, and horny should have died instead of the many little kittens that were run over by cars.
- That even a small Toyota can hold around 12 passengers. Four being well built adults, while the rest are children.
- In that same 2 family holiday trip, one shouldn't be stubborn to rent a van instead of the aforementioned car.
- I see animals on the way to school or class, just chillin' like a villain. Being me, and inclined to such things, I decided that these animals on different occasions needed to go to class/school with me, picked them up and took them there. The girls in class, sadly, never achieved 'used to me' at any point. So I stopped. I think I really desensitised my classes.

Tag 8 people:

8 random people. There. Done.

Shallow's such an ugly word. I prefer to think of myself as selectively deep.

2008-12-03T17:57:00.002+08:00

Am sick! What the hell is that. However, must admit to good cheer at the moment despite body's fervent wish to roll over and die, because a) friend from livejournal came back from hiatus! hurrah! hard to be grumpy when there is smut at your fingertips, and b) has over 46 videos of bigbang, dbsk and SHINee to spazz and squee.

And no matter how ill I feel, at least I'm not getting raped over a couch like Crawford.

I like to look on the bright side of things.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

2008-12-01T20:19:00.000+08:00

Tagged By Feeza HM.

1. What’s the relationship of you and her/him?
- Other than going to the same college, we're also classmates in Lit.

2. Your 5 impressions towards her/him?
- Y SO SAD?
- Long lashes
- Works on own pace
- (I'm not sure but..) Seems to have a lot of connections
- Fragile, like, I'm afraid if I talk too loud to her she might disappear. (That's just me, okay.)

3. The most memorable things she/he have said to you.
- "Hi, Nab, Do you know XXX's number?" We rarely talk and that was the first time we ever exchange words to each other. So, ah, yeah. Not really significant to you, but I cherish first times -- what?

4. The most memorable things she/he had done for you
- Helping reminding me things for the UK trip.

5. If she/he becomes your lover, you will
- A--ahaha?

6. If she/he becomes your enemy, you will
- Do nothing, but scowl. I'm pathetic, really.

7. If she/he becomes your love, she/he has to improve on
- I don't know, um, communication I guess?

8. If she/he becomes your enemy, the reason is
- Uh, how can anyone possibly answer this without feeling any guilt?? I know I am.

9. The most desirable thing to do on him/her is?
- Oh oh, curl her lashes because she would look like an absolute doll~! :D

10. The overall impression of him/her is
- She's a rare one, and I mean it in a good way. (Y)

11. How do you think the people around you feel about you?
- "Hayy sigau bini bini ani eh" or something akin to that.

12. The character of you for yourself is?
- at the moment: a stupid face with my jaw hanging open.

13. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
- A little girl screaming in high pitch.

14. The most ideal person that you wanna be is?
- I had one in my head but it quickly disappears as was about to type it down. So will, get back to that later.

15. For the people who care about you and likes you, say something about them.
- Yo. You so fly everytime I see you flocks of bird disperse around you. (wtf?!)

16. 10 people you tag:

1. - Anis
2. - Fif
3. - Dee
4. - Neesa
5. - Joanna
6. - Mezz
7. - Zee
8. - Fakhrul
9. - Fatin
10. - Juzai

17. Who is No. 2 having a relationship with?
- Have no idea

18. No. 3 a male or female?
- 100% boobs.

19. If No. 7 and No. 10 were together, would it be a good thing?
- Dude. Dahell?

20. How about No.5 and No. 8?
- HAHAHAHA er, nah, man.

21. What is No. 1 studying about?
- USED to study Lit, Economics, Sociology and

22. Is No. 4 single?
- Of course.

23. Say something about No. 6?
- Been there for me since first exchanged real words, and an irreplaceable brother with no blood kinship. Also, growing to be more annoying, more Fakhri-like, more askdfhkldh!! But hey, he's my brother.

@edited.
I don't think those I've tagged and who's done this before is required to re-do it again. Spamming your own blog is so not cool. Cheers!

I tried to set my email password to "penis," but it said my password wasn't long enough. :((

2008-11-28T12:54:00.002+08:00

Someone's beginning to be a frequent here. Wouldn't it be nice of you to drop a hello? Seriously I know you come here more often lately. So, hi..?

when you do stop by the least you can do is drop a friendly hello or something.

Yeah.

You. Remember that?

In sitemeter I see a sum of visitors who is not, going to be and already a frequent to this blog, yet no friendly hellos. Are you some sort of unfriendly anti social being?

In other news,

Today's Dzar's birthday. Happy birthday Dzariifah Iskandar!

I feel bad I didn't come 'cause of reasons. But I'm sure she had great fun today.

And about the Satan's Alley video my patience is growing thin I might rip it off YouTube accepting the low crap quality.

I.. didn't play much tennis.

Ugly post, I know; bear with me, it's holidays for god's sake.

Pity the poor egg; it only gets laid once.

2008-11-24T23:37:00.001+08:00

I am at my wit's end. Does anyone have a copy of one of Tropic Thunder's spoof trailer "Satan's Alley", or know of a website where I can download it for free? I've been on google for literally the past two days with no results, I've harassed nearly everyone on my buddy list about it, I've had several people attempt to send it via MSN only to be blocked by firewalls or other such nonsense(which never happened before), I've even had someone from livejournal email it to me, but it cuts off a good minute before Downey said Father, I've been a bad, bad boy. (unbeknownst to her generous heart and only discovered by me after she became unavailable). Can anyone else email it? Does anyone know of a super secret website that offers it? Internet piracy didn't used to be so hard. -.-

This embarrassing entry will be deleted after I get a copy of the damned video, unless there's an unexpected philosophical conversation in the tagboard or the RIAA screencaps this page as proof to fine and/or jail me. Or something.

Cue downfall :((

And in non-fangirl news, guess why I felt severely offended days ago.

I'll give you a hint: Two IP addresses linked to Israel and US found my blog by typing "seducing my own son" in a search engine.

WTF people. Laugh; you are morally conflicted. (I am too, BUT 'TIS NOT THE POINT!) I do have a "son" who was impregnated from a fruit but I don't practice incest in real life. And finally, when you do stop by the least you can do is drop a friendly hello or something.

I don't think there's enough :D :D :D to express how proud I am to have crazy friends. Had tennis not so long ago, and one and the most crazy of 'em all suggested we have another round at six in the effing morning, and thankfully I managed to change her mind to make it later. One hour late. So.. having another one tomorrow morn'n.

'll update if hopefully my limbs are still attached to the joints and my bones haven't snap in two.

do you liek me circle y/n

2008-11-22T22:02:00.002+08:00

Alright! I doubt my absence has been noticed by very many -- or, uh, any at all, since I update like once in a blue moon. But I have a perfectly good reason as to why there’s no update since 21st.

Everyone knows my life solely is embedded to internet and Korea. Yes, Mezz, ‘Life? Where do you download that?’ But I am not adverse to a greater frequency of outdoor!fun in my life.

Sociology 3 honestly was, well, -- A2 is just not fun for the brain. That done, was called at last minute to surprise Mush at his place. Those involved were Mush’s parents, Ali, Dzar, Fakhri, Farhan, Fatin, Juzai, Mezz, Munir, Neesa, Nuar, Syubu, Qays, Zatty, Zee, and was the camera-person :)) Video, pictures will be uploaded by Zatty. Neesa had pictures, Fatin just had videos of the post-party.

Remnants(glances at Zati) of the night was Farhan, Fatin, Mush, Zee and me, stayed there till 8-ish. Crazed funny upon crazed funny they(minus Mush) crashed my place till 9+ then part ways. Tired. Bushed. Parched. Didn’t care. Slept.

The day after. Back to school to return the books and finish filling up the leaving cert, done by half past 10. Zee picked me up, went to places, changed.

So, from Zee's to school. Change transportation. Movie. Lunch. Around. School. Mall. School. Around. Fakhri's. School. Around. Zee's. Around.

Then had a break at mine till night. Them off. Familia went for a movie. Part ways - family, madagascar 2; me, Tropic Thunder. [Plotless, pointless as expected but hilarious as so. Loved the trailers esp Satan's Alley. Downloading it as we speak. :))] Sat between a pair of three large sized strangers. Home before time grazed midnight.

Therefore, in lethargic state now. Am a weak person. Boo hoo.

That is all. *hits publish post before I think of more spammy things to add*

standards are for squares

2008-11-21T06:29:00.001+08:00

This is my last paper.

And I am eff'n ecstatic.

@edited 10.32PM

And now for a completely different story!

Happy birthday Mush! We got you real good didn't we?

Gee, I wish my idea was as cool and vivid as yours. What is yours, by the way? Do you have one?

2008-11-20T12:48:00.005+08:00

It's lunch break and taking this chance to relieve myself (not in the way you might imagine).

hahahahahah David Thorne is a funny Australian.

(If he was a cult, I would so join in.)

back to reality.

I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start eating.

2008-11-19T15:35:00.005+08:00

What's shaking? What'd I miss? Did you hold candlelight vigils by your computer every night, desperately awaiting my return? *buffs nails*

booooored. bored bored bored. D: There are usually 1928273675 kpopping things to keep me occupied (if that verb didn't already exist, it so should), and today's no different, I just... don't feel like checking any of it out. *flaps hands*

I might be trying to learn Korean. D: I avoided mentioning this for the longest time because I'm sure I'll get snubbed, but damn, I'm getting frustrated -- does anyone have suggestions for good instruction books? I checked a couple local bookstores, but I don't want to learn Hangul in seven days or ten easy steps or with one eye shut, I want to know what the pretty pretty boys are singing as they thrust so invitingly. *______*

Freedom this way comes in two days and I'm thinking of watching a movie that most of you have probably seen - Battle Royale ring any bell? The one where fourty Japanese middleschoolers are forced by the government to kill each other? It's fun for the whole family!*

*Provided your whole family likes blood and violence and more death than you can shake a stick at.

Any BigBang fans out there? Have you seen the MKMF festival four days ago? And (the TOP with) (Hyori's perf)? ;;lsadjfjvl if you need me I'll be over here CRYING.

I'm really bored. Oh my god. *climbs up walls* C'mon people, it's Wednesday afternoon! We should be living it up! SOMEONE STRIP FOR COINS. Something.

P.S
I think whoever the dudes who came up with 'Without Warning' are made of osmsauce. Because I felt so gullible and fell for it I clutched to myself in the corner under the stairs, waiting for the meteors to come and blow up earth. Thinking about it now.. still doesn't change how real it felt. Or I'm just a sucker.

Wanted to put up a picture but remembered I have no cameras around, even my phone's busted. So, sorry Zatty the tag game is postponed for a very very long time.

@edited
Happy birthday to ~~Akmal... something~~ my cousin who I comfortably call as Ayoi. One of the best, mature and supportive people I've met, and is younger than me :0

The depressing thing about tennis: no matter how good you get, you'll never be as good as the wall.

2008-11-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

wtf she's updating two days in a row, it's a sign of the apocalypse!

As of midnight tonight Mezz will turn 18. Say hello, Mezz. Hello. I am eighteen years old. As in, eighteen years ago he was Cesarean-section'd out of his mother (by his untrained granmama) and delivered into the awaiting embrace of the "operating table", where the relatives laid him down and turned around to watch soap operas and his unconscious mother almost kicked him to the floor. The last bit was false by the way. But I've had too many friends of almost the same first-days.

Yes, friends! He, with his not-so innocent virginal eyes, is going to access NC-17s! And he's going to enjoy it!

There is, unfortunately, nothing you can do about this. So you can stop with the "oh my god, underage readers are viewing porn" wank.

Thank you for your time. And Mezz.. once I get my grubby hands on those pictures I will not hesitate one bit to post it in my blog.

So happy birthday to Messoni binti Jaini ~~the girl~~ the man more gay day by day. And swishes his hair like from a shampoo advert.

Yours truly,
your "sister", the Noob god.

2008-11-08T21:01:00.002+08:00

I have the least tolerance for puritans, or potential to-be's. But then who does? The need for security is great in me, so is comfort. I like my status quo thankyouverymuch. And what I've been seeing flashing past by my eyes does not put a smile on my face.

Say anything Malvolio-like my foot will be in your ass, whether you like it or not.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not your sport.

2008-11-07T21:32:00.001+08:00

I did not want to post this. Yet again, I feel like some pseudo-badass, all "look at me, I'm such a nonconformist, I piss off my teachers(and random strangers) and have the ability to come up with evil pranks on the spot, tell me how much I rock." But I want to look back on this blog in a year and laugh about how dorky I was. So.

-- but no, I have still some niceness in me. In one way or another.

In other but related news, Lit went fine. Let's start with the bad news:

On answering the second and final question I fell asleep during the last 15 minutes so the answer was left undone - barely half a page. Which goes to show that afternoons are meant for naps, not exams.

On the bright side:

I finally got some rest. ~~During the exam but still.~~ :))

(And Anis oh-so kindly flaunts to the whole world my face as she starts to storytell about three certain young girls in study groups.)

So, uh, just now. Sociology paper 1 can kiss mucky donkeys' asses. :((

Also, I'm not as disbelieving and horrified and tearful as I could be, not really -- my days're stumped with SocioLit. I mean, four days after this would be Socio and Lit on the same effing day. Two days after is Lit with the final set of Lit two days after. Then three breaks and I'm near to the finish line - Sexy Satanic Socio.

I am quite possibly going to turn out demented and suicidal. To quote myself from recent plurk,

Oh woe is me. I hate SocioLit. I am so suicidal I want to throw myself into a lit kitchen stove and roll on floor burning, writing 'I am more emo than a camel' with the flame licking my body.

Aha. A---hahaha. I don't mind if you guys totally scoff at my douchebaggery and un-bookmark this page, because if I were you I would totally do the same.

Next post will be... whenever I feel like bitching about my papers. Cheers. :))

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

2008-10-30T22:05:00.006+08:00

Don't question why I'm blogging when I'm supposed to angst over statistics -- and cramming. It's the night before Halloween, guys! Again don't ask why but so suddenly I crave for a fright. Give me your horror stories! Your creepy dolls and flash psych outs! Your ghostly blood-covered figures. Pictures of women in white, covered with blood, their demon children without eyes fixing the world with scary grins! I'm giving you total permission to send me sobbing in a corner, clutching the tattered remains of my dignity.

Scare the shit out of me.

Please scare me.* The sanctity of this entire day is at stake.

There is one exception: do not post anything from Ringu. Oh my god, pretty please do not post anything from Ringu, that movie scarred me. *wrings hands* Seriously, I was counting down my seven days to the very last minute, and I sat in a petrified mess in my room when the time came -- "mother," I said, "a dead Japanese girl is about to kill me," and she replied, "okay," and then "pick up your clean laundry on the way, okay." I was traumatized.

I also refuse to watch it again, because I'm convinced it was just a fluke that she missed me the first time.

-- and you know how she kills with her evil eye? My immediate response to anything spooky, like strange sounds in the middle of the night, is to CLOSE MY EYES, because IF I CAN'T SEE HER, SHE CAN'T KILL ME. >:0!!!

So, ah, yeah. No Ringu, bishes. :(( I will totally defriend you, and this will be totally without guilt, though I can't promise I won't scream in a girly fashion and clutch my cat closely beforehand. :((

*wields stick and oppresses!*

(ramble)P/S

oh and by the way if you were wondering how the EAS paper went. In a nutshell: ;SADH;LSADGHICOULDN'TFREAKINGFINISHTHEDAMNTHING. So, uh, yeah, I came out with mixed feelings which I am sure has nothing to do with regret or relief. Maybe my brain was severely fried from wringing out as much English words my brain could recall.

Moral of story: spazzing then short circuiting due to latest album of SHINee must not be repeated. It'll totally brainwash you with muddles of Hangul you don't quite comprehend but yet nod in fake comprehension. Pfft oh sure now my English gets better after the paper. At times.. I resent how my brain functions.

byebye.

Do hnot adjmust your jmohnitorl.

2008-10-27T21:54:00.002+08:00

Thnis is whnat hnappehns whnehn youfr cousihn spil.l. a caffiehneted beverage ohn a k,eyboardl.

Thnahnk,ful.l.yk, it stil.l. seejms to be givihng jme thne l.etters I typel. It jmustk, uhnk, adds ohn a buhnchn of ohnes thnat I didhn'tl. So I cahn give off thne il.l.usiohn of hnavihng a perfectl.y hnorjmal.k, hnohn-carbohnated k,eyboard if I tak,e thne tijme to del.ete al.l. thne excess l.ettersk, but it's real.l.y too jmuchn work,l. I al.so secretl.y thnihnk, thnis l.ook,s real.l.y cool.l.

Sok, k,idsk, today's l.essohn is: be careful. whnere you put thnat Pepsil. :?))

An MSN conversation between her and her friend(which I secretly snagged. Te he.)

Friend: Did you spill anything on it? I did that to my old keyboard and that's what it looked like
Cousin: Yeahnk, earl.ierl. Were you abl.e to fic it:?
Friend: Nope, unfortunately. I had to get another one
Cousin: Ohnk, shnitl.
Friend: yep
Friend: hehe "shnitl"
Cousin: I'l.l. get you ahnd your bl.oody chnick,ehnl.

@edit

Took me more than fifteen hours to realise that my dad's birthday's today. Ha! *geekily pushes glasses up*

Normally I would pass up making birthday greets to any family member like the pretentious bitch I am, but since guilt eats up my guts and it is ripping me apart I figured I better do this if I'm never going to say this in their faces. -- I have no better way to say "Happy birthday dad! You're fourty-seven and ancient."

So:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! YOU'RE FOURTY-SEVEN AND PRETTY ANCIENT. :D :D

Sorry for being a daughter who seized your every bad traits which includes short temperedness, anti socialness, sour faced-ness, etc. But we have same taste in music but you have no idea. *beams*

Sincerely,
Your daughter(who is bytheway thanking you for fixing the A/C system in her room that's been down for some odd months.)

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

2008-10-24T15:27:00.009+08:00

I've tried to write this entry about four times, but each time I keep looking back and realizing I've forgotten things, so I edit and add-on and then it gets rambly and irrelevant and ajsgalsjd. I think I've been watching so much Korean media I've forgotten how to properly speak English. (Though I have noticed an improvement in my Korean! Why, not even an hour ago someone sneered "pabo" and I went HA, THAT WAS A RUDE WAY TO ADDRESS SOMEONE. Clearly I am amazing.)

I have six days till the next paper, so I guess this is an okay time to post something. I chose to make this a quote-heavy entry.

So to start us off

on the construction of language (and how you can easily fxck it up[and microwavable cheese]).
Zati: what? o.o
Nab: MICRO---
Nab: okay shit
Nab: i can't spell it
Nab: micro-wa-va-ble....
Nab: is that right

Krissy: Just remember - it's always the wuiet ones.
Krissy: *QUIET!
Krissy: Damnit, typos ruin the drama of it all. XD

on music.
Zati: They won two MTV Europe awards, including "Best Alternative Act", and a Q Award for "Best Live Act".
Nab: FO SHIZZ
Zati: i dunno if you're being sarcastic or real, but yeah.. 'fo shizz'
Zati: hahaha! they won best live act in 2007 also!
Nab: well yeah i'm being serious and the reason why that came out sounding retarded is because i wanted to tell u that i'm gonna go pee but sidetracked by that article. so now i'm gonna tell you that i'll be right back cause i want to pee so badly
Zati: you could have just said brb and tell me about that AFTER you pee =A=;;

on nature's colours.
Nab: AND I AM BACK!
Zati: after peeing!
Nab: with a different colour!
Nab: i mean my font colour is different!
Nab: not.. my pee
Nab: *snickers* shxt that'll be fxcked up
Zati: yes, that will be messed up Oxo

on family.
Nab: bye
Zati: i will miss you, daddeh.. D8
Nab: aww there there kid
Nab: behave while i'm gone
Nab: you know your mother and I love you
Zati: which one's my mother again?
Nab: don't talk to strangers okay
Nab: ..i'm not sure, son. but it's got to be one of the women i slept with
Nab: wait no
Nab: your mother had you even if she wasnt pregnant
Nab: you came from a gigantic peach we found on the banks.
Nab: and you glew like an angel
Zati: my mother... is a peach...
Nab: an angel with sticky sweet peach juice
Zati: OH. MY. GOD. I'm not human!!
Nab: at least you might taste good
Zati: YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!!
Zati: get away from me, carnivore!!
Nab: but son.. you came from a fruit
Nab: doesnt make me a carnivore

on influence.
Nab: bxtch got no dissin' skillz
Zati: using ZZ's as replacement for SS's are so last 10 years ago man
Nab: but i am TEH PIMPZ
Nab: my hoes, let me show you them
Zati: wait, you're in those comms where you actually use those

finally, some wise words to guide you through hardships of romance.
Friend1: I Love love.. love girls.
Nab: i'm never showing you my girl friends you sex maniac!

Nab: omg wow. wanna have a threesome btw?
Zati: I'm your son! go use your bxtch!
Nab: 'ell nah! bring it!
Nab: you, me, tomorrow at dawn
Nab: bring your strap on. the battle begins now, ho
Zati: midnight lah
Zati: dawn people can still watch

Nab: bend over prz
Zati: the top don't do that
Nab: i'm middle. i'm co-pilot and in families, co-pilots are moms. dads always listen to moms
Nab: so listen to co-pilots, thus the listen to middles, therefore obey me. bend over nao
Zati: nevah!
Nab: individuality hurts. join to conformity

(one of the most random things I could come up with for the sake of updating.)

@edited ('cause it'll look ugly if I post another dialogue post twice. AND also because I forgot few more)

on geekiness(and how it could happen to you.)
Nab: Hah. I'm in your profile.
Azim: I'm sure your world is bursting with happiness.
Nab: Well, I did sort of blink in ecstasy.

on the importance of optimism.
Nab: i'm going to give free antidepressants to everyone who whines from now on.
Nab: you have a chemical imbalance, take a pill.
Zati: ... oxo
Nab: b'cause that's what it all is right? you don't have an artistic soul that yearns for death, your seritonin level is too low. no, you're not Van Gogh. you're not special. I thought I was special too and I took pills and now I'm happy. Look at me bounce. :):):)

on life itself during the adolescent years.
Friend2: I love being a teenager.
Friend2: It gives you an excuse to whine.
Friend2: "I bang my wrists against things." "Why?" "I'm a teenager." "Oh, okay. :-)"

on food. (my personal fav)
Krissy: I HATE LOW CARB DIETS
Nab: GOD SHUT UP ALREADY
Krissy: YOU FAT PEOPLE
Krissy: GO OUT AND RUN LIKE A REAL PERSON

(I should stop. Sorry for the.. unfunny.)
(Krissy, come back to Brunei soooon~ We can walk around the Mall like a bunch of tards! xD)

Call me schizo, but I'll always have each other.

2008-10-22T19:51:00.004+08:00

Let's see.

I once pretended to fly, but my foot slipped and kicked the glass off the window. Second time I never trusted my fingers ever again after (here's a fine one) the thick folded piece of paper flew to the teacher's eye (the history of my bad aiming goes faaar back). Sebanarnya kan melastik urang di dapan -_-' who was by the way just a meter away.

Twice you took the blame and both times I didn't dare to thank you. I felt ashamed yet grateful to have someone like you in my circle.

You are one of the few I look up to.

And happy birthday, Kah. :)
Goodluck with the A's.

My reality check just bounced

2008-10-14T11:38:00.007+08:00

Fact one: First paper starts tomorrow.

Fact one, sub-section A: I don't want to go.
Fact one, sub-section A, sub-sub-section the first: This means I'm willing to go to any lengths to avoid thinking of the impending doom that is Wednesday morning, at any cost. No distraction method is too great, no procrastination activity too unthinkable.

Fact two: I've not updated since 30th Sept.

Fact two, sub-section A: I'm getting tired of looking at my dead blog.
Fact two, sub-section A, sub-sub-section the first: This means I've been looking for a way to post about hiatus, but I've been hindered by time constraints, lack of creative ideas, and the vague suspicion that no one would actually read them in the event I chose to make this quick and short.

Fact one, sub-section A, sub-sub-section the first + fact two, in its entirety =

Conclusion: LIFE LESSONS WITH NABILAH JOHARI.

p/s

Sections and sub sections is kinda cool. I might do this again. Till then kids, this blog I leave for dead. (jk) Hiatus till hopefully by the end of A-levels. Hopefully till my motivation lasts to 21st November.

And by the way, GOODLUCK to all of you guys! To anyone sitting for O's, A's, PMB, PSR and many other kinds of written/practical/oral examinations you're having (or will have), break a leg. ~~Literally is fine too.~~

Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

2008-09-30T19:18:00.008+08:00

Don't defriend me once I say this. Don't hate me if I say this. But flames I can take because they're fun to read.

ESUK INDA RAYAAAAA! HAHAHA yay! I betcha most of y'all would be groaning and cursing under your breath because of the news. Devastated are you?

Oh, don't mind me being spiteful. It's fun. You should try it once in a while. Nope, I'm not acting like this because of the scorching heat radiated from within my room - by reasons I'm not sure of - and I am not acting like this because I feel that there are remainders of senseless, brainless, tactless beings still continue to exist and roam in this world. Nope. Not that. I'm acting spiteful because I want to. Mind you, being evil and not happy is hard work. It's like charity work where you don't have to receive anything but just to give, though you exist to piss people off.

In that kind of mind set I think therefore I am giving charity.

Do you.. ph33r me? Disgusting ain't I?

Well. I'm sorry. But hey, let me remind you again, tomorrow's not the start of Eid in our part of the world. Boo hoo.

Feel frustrated? Good. I'm happy. (:

Till then kids, don't pick your nose. Especially not just hours or minutes before breaking your fast. It not only makes you look disgusting and stupid, it makes you labelled as stupid.

Lastly, the word supposably is not a word fyi. Can you process that into your thick skull?

---

I'm sorry about that. I just.. felt like it. And I.. I'm sorry. Those dark feelings are usually kept inside. But it festers and I explode. Sorry sorry.

Thank you for that tangent. Back to cosine and sine.

And no, I'm no girlie girl.

Anyway! Bullet time!

Doc told me I should start drinking milk. That was srzlay.. not something I wanted to hear. So I reasoned her out of it. But backfired saying that my lactoseintolerance is all in my head. =/
Watching Maou and it is destroying my soul.. stylishly. Because it's Maou. It's evil and delicious.
Cuculs are up and draping in front of the porch like colourful seaweed blinking at a romantic pace. AND I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF. Okay, maybe with dad's, brother's and cousin's help.
I smell smoke. Y'know those kind of smell after you burnt stacks of useless papers which afterwards you realise are your precious collection of UTOPIA mags.`
This bullet thing is addictive.(fixed it!)
I just want y'all to know that.
But, okay, okay, I am done, and to wrap it up!

Dear idiots outside my window,

It is not raya yet or the fourth of July. Those fireworks had better be for something good or some kid's birthday or I will shove the loud, explosive manifestations of your festivity into your spleen and leave you bleeding red, green, and blue on the sidewalk.

Kthxbai :-*,
Me and my fully-loaded pistol.

/ps

Longest post I remember writing. I is proud! My socks feel rocked.

And if there's anymore typos and the likes.. don't hesitate leaving a "tag of concern".

I'm sorry you've got the wrong number.

2008-09-27T12:38:00.003+08:00

There's that news coming out regarding the melamine contamination in most - or all - products imported from China.

The whole of Africa, Asia and Europe had banned and recalled all milk products from China. And now this year they're growing more alert after the milk scandal, they found more products to be contaminated with melamine.

Aw man. That musta suck for their economy. It's bad enough that the number of those who doesn't have jobs is.. wow.

I admit that when I first heard it I thought wtf so what melanin kali ah, makin itam kulit biar tia. But it's actually melamin, so.. yeah. Pffft, in order to make the protein content seem high. You're killing thousands here and all you think of is your business. WTF? Despicable beings. A;LSHF;LASHLSAG GRRRRH!!

And I received an email of the list of melamine contaminated products, and for once I'd like to say HAH! I told you it's not a bad thing to not like Vitasoy.

Other than Vitasoy.

There's.. Dove ~~the shampoo? We don't consume shampoo. WTH.~~ OH THAT CHOCOLATE?! NOOOOO I LOVE IT! Aw poop.

Dutch Lady. First Choice. Ginbis. Kraft. OREO(;ASKDGH;KSADHD). M&M. Meiji. Mentos. Nestle. Those.. uh.. whaddyacallit white rabbit milk sweet thing? Snickers.

By the way those names I listed weren't detailed because I'm lazy to type the specific items.

Nyearrh this post is ugly.

Jalousy: Jealousy while riding in a jalopy

2008-09-26T12:35:00.003+08:00

A little somethin' to do before the familia go to KB. Besides it's such a waste to put this post under dust.

Answer these questions with only a photo or other graphic,
NO words allowed. The pictures when uploaded were all mixed up and I was too lazy to rearrange them according to the questions, so the questions are all songsang(sp?) too.

1. What did you do on a Sunday?

2. What is your favourite network TV show?

3. Describe yourself.

4. What is your favourite candy?

5. What is your favourite band/singer?

6. What is your current mood?

7. What's your current relationship status?

8. What kind of pets do you have?
9. What is your favourite movie?

10. Who do you look like?

11. Where do you work?

n/a

12. Where do you live?

13. What is your favourite movie?

n/a

14. What do you drive?

n/a

15. What did you do on a Saturday?

Boring aren't I? Feel free to play along (:

And by the way, it's a bit late but congratulations to Jirah for winning category 'B'. I just flipped through old newspaper until I saw a familiar tabam-ness. (: Congrats, cuz'. And a belated birthday to the other cousin who also doesn't know I exist in the same college as he goes to.

Few pictures for some questions are missing. So will get back to that later.

He who lives his live for nothing other than money is simply a whore of the system.

2008-09-25T13:44:00.004+08:00

to.

Nurul 'Izzati Haji Nordin

Happy birthday Zati!

I hope the text was good enough. Mind you, I was feelin' pretty high that time hence the spastic birthday greet. Haha.

This post will most definitely be edited to be nicer and longer. Screw English right now 'cause I feel like my whole body is against every biological system in it. My back hurts when I lie down. It feels like something is weighted down on my chest and it hurts, duh. My stomach feels funky. And my jaw -- I think my jaw slightly moved from its original position but it doesn't bother me the slightest bit. Well not yet.

For now I will fly off to.. wherever-else-land!

*wingardium leviosa*

[pixie dust for dramatic effect]

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode

2008-09-19T20:57:00.007+08:00

Yeah, I had sungkai out with Azim.

I thought it was going to be fun, seeing that it was his birthday today and all.

Sweet god.

vksajdjfsdkl I hate it when karma happens. Well, that was fun exercise in sobbing my eyes out and wishing for the dark comfort of death. I never thought I'd live the day when sending my own relative would be this heartcrushing and soul destroying I want to run under the rain and pour tears of overwhelming despair.

Labih tia.

Then, because I wanted to cheer myself up before he steps in that door (hissss), THAT WENT WELL. The worst kind of goodbye conversations took place..

Me: Weh, have you watched Jackie Beat punya video? Haha, yang pasal big balls.

Azim: (weak smile) Yeah. Ada ko watch Texas Ranger? Atu wah, babu just had a slashy realisation.

Me: OMFG apeh? I haven't watched it!

Azim: It went like this Walker and Trivette shared a "manly heterosexual" grin.

Azim: You know, they definitely had something going on the side.

A's mom: Dul! They're Texas rangers!

Azim: Yeah, I know, they're Texas rangers.

A's mom: ....

A's mom: ......

A's mom:

A's mom: ..you know, when Walker first met him he was in a little tiny speedo.

Azim: (incoherency)

A's mom: (growing excitement) And they're always together, and --

Azim: (incoherency)

A's mom: Seriously, it was a little tiny speedo. It had a buldge.

Azim: Maybe Walker took him over a pool bench right then and there.

A's mom: Oh my god. (awed) Oh my god, Walker's girlfriend has no idea.

Me: (in pain in attempt to muffle laughter) Shit!! (muffled laughter) Minjam eh the DVD -- CD -- WHATEVER!

Azim: Inda buuuleh~

Me: Next year can?
Azim: ...I can't. I'll be staying there for three years.

Honestly, I felt.. betrayed in a way. He lures me in with supposedly gay rednecks and his mom's inner gay coming out, then SLAMS ME INTO A BRICK WALL OF ANGST OVER AND OVER UNTIL I'M A RAGDOLL LIMP WITH DESOLATION AND DESPAIR.

Jim, you ass. Happy birthday nonetheless. You're growing old so try to grow up as well.

p.s. Just want to clarify that Azim's not a homo, but is into them. Just like me. I'm as interested in lesbians as much as I do with ghei, but it doesn't make me one of the LGTBs. I'm sure some of you idolise someone of the same sex a tad too much.. right? D:/:D?

Current mood: MY OWN TEARS.

Get your mind out of the gutter! Grab mine while you're there, please.

2008-09-18T15:32:00.004+08:00

To Zimah: Yeah, I know this is kinda late but I'm finally done. Better late than never kan?

To Zati: ...Dude, I hope you score better in this one because if you do not.. *mengasah kapak*

To my cousin, Ipih: *stares* Whoa, you've grown woman! You almost look like Bungsu Jitun, only shorter! You didn't show me your kid! D:

So here's the new one, made to be more sensible and of real facts.

Create your own Friend Test here

I know I just posted yesterday but this test had to be made. And I have a feeling I might have fun sobbing my eyes out and wishing for the dark comforts of death tomorrow. That was an exaggeration - okay the last bit is.

Mark my words.

Current mood: asd;lfhslkdfj

I care for you too much

2008-09-17T15:53:00.002+08:00

I woke up and found myself looking up to see the tiled floor, turns out that I slept upside down and one of my arms dangled on the floor, the other stuck in the gap between the mattress and the floor.

I had two dreams - two messed up dreams.

----

but in the meanwhile I just want to say that Azim is bittthh. He's leaving for AU on his fugging birthday! What the hell man?! Iiish. I didn't get to see you weeks before, when you flew back to Brunei. And now you're leaving me without a word!

You, me, sungkai out. Please? With a cherry on top, or else I'll hurt.. your cats. You don't know how much I mith you, man. ;___; And you have no idea how much I want to hurt you right now.

----

anyway, I'll edit this later when I'm not really feeling depressed and angry at a certain someone. (glares at Azim)

Speacial skeel: thyping

2008-09-16T21:07:00.002+08:00

For the past two days I've done the true friends test off of Anis' blog and Zee's. So now I just thought of making my own too. Don't worry I won't de-friend you if you get less than 50%.. or will I?

I kid.

Create your own Friend Test here

Actually I couldn't give a care about making a real test, so I did a test just to screw with your heads. Try it. I'ma give you like a week or so then I'll put it down 'cause this test is lame.

Pffft testing who's your true friends. What a laugh!

Remember, 24th that thing is down the gutters. I just want to see who would headdesk themselves, and I cry in your phailz.

DUN DUN DUUUNNNN.

I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.

2008-09-13T19:23:00.005+08:00

A-up me duck youfs!

It's an absolutely nice feeling to be appreciated and thanked for the littlest things you've done, for a friend.

*sways to Love Like Oxygen*

Thanks that was fun but don't forget, no regrets - except maybe one. Made a deal not to feel.
God, that's dumb.

Sound of Your Voice
I let you down and fell right off of your good list
I hope each day you find peace and forgiveness
The alarm clock rings, what a lonely noise
And I long for ...

Cheers, and you're welcome.

@edited; 14th Sept.

"Consider yourself highfived. Remember me.. when you shave your legs."

Oh my god, want.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

2008-09-11T15:10:00.004+08:00

Everything was vivid to me - right from day one I met them. Listening to their voices synchronising sent me to tears of joy. That was one year ago, when I first knew of DBSK. And now this.. I'm crying much harder because their voices absolutely took my breath away.

They're called SHINee(pronounced 'shiny'). So young, so handsome, so... MMMM~

I'm not kidding. At first I'd thought they were just another fresh boyband so I took no hhed of them. But just yesterday I listened to them to give a chance. A;LSDGA;DLSHG They're THAT good!

Their debut was not long ago, and now here they appear with a whole new shiny album made of pure awesome. I recommend this to those who're open to language differences, RnB, hip hop, or anyone interested to melt in your headphones.

The album - SHINee Vol. 1 The SHINee World - not only unraveled the knot, it handcuffed it, bent it over a table and made it cry daddy. Definitely going in my top ten kmusic.

I am proud to say that I will not be called pedo since the boys are aged within 16-18 but their voices made my heart flutter. I'm in love~

I will not rest until you listen to them!
Take it or I will throw sliced lemons to your eyes

:D :D :D :D too happy for words

RANT POST RANT POST RANT POST

2008-09-09T13:09:00.006+08:00

Join in the new game that's sweeping the country. It's called "Bureaucracy". Everybody stands in a circle. The first person to do anything loses.

Neesa told me about something near-to politics and my face was disgusted and scowling. But then that could be my imagination that I did.

Before I go any further, I'd like to warn you that this'll be a rant post. Filled with nothing interesting or even related to your not-boring life.

RANT POST RANT POST RANT POST - TO BEGIN NOW!

To put it delicately it'd be that I've been less "coloured". I'm sorry for worrying you people, but I'm completely fine to begin with.

I'm sorry for yelling. On the phone, spitting out incoherent cusses and wails. Haha you might not have heard it Zatty but on the phone I was also banging my head against my window. HEGEGE it's a good thing my forehead isn't temasuk or anything.

I'm also sorry for yelling again. When IM-ing with Fakhri. Angry for no solid reason is stupid of me. Sorry for acting all pissed four days three nights ago.

Sorry for not being an eligible - if not most - bachlorette. If only you could see me roll my eyes right now. I'm sorry I couldn't chop the onions and potatoes properly. Hahah plus about how your clam chowder didn't taste as good that day. <:p

I'm sorry for pretending to be a complete oblivious sack of old potatoes.

I'm sorry for not being to able to be.

I'm sorry I couldn't get the right halal chocolates.

And everything else I would mention but couldn't remember most.

Lastly I'm not sure whether this is something worth apologising for, but I'm sorry for the past few "deep" posts. I like angst. Therefore my penmanship reflects who I am, and I say it with much hesitation.

END OF RANT

I might put up some photoshopped pictures soon - pictures of 6th last week. Because the colour and other factors really bothers me. But then I might not post them up.

Hmph. This is why I don't like blogging with no topics in my head. Everything random finds their way on the drafts - being ugly, un-neat and all. I'm a sad sop who needs to entertain her days with colour pens. Call me crazy but looking at the stars sends me to fits of giggles and laughter.

Oh oh I've developed a new collection! COLOURFUL STRAWS! HAHAHAHAHAHA currently have four of them - green, yellow, pink and blue!

So I've collected fridge magnets, hair clips, straws, beads(from broken bracelets =_="), bracelets, keychains and something else I can't quite remember. Ohh I'm liking polka dots now! Because they're cute!

Speaking of polka dots, I might paint one little wall in my room near my toilet lime green with little cute-sized colurful polka dots! :D :D :D HAHAHAH I feel girrrlly.

Don't laugh at me, man. I like colourful stuffs as much as your little sister would!

Ohhh also also I might purchase *something* HEGEGE but you shan't know now, since it ain't confirmed yet.

I LIKE COLOURFUL BUTTONS! :D

Ah darn it I should shut it. I blame the sudden confessions to hungerrrr, because of hungerrr I am hyperrrr. hahaha it rhymes omg coolness! blond much!

i saw these clocks which were uber cool! But they both cost nearly two grand! EACH! haiyaa.

i like pens. i like post-it notes. i like dots. i like straws. i like kah-me-rahs. i like ... --

ohmeghad i do not have a dirty crush on anyone zatty! Not that person who lent me their white shirt! not that person!

I am so sorry for writing like that. It's ugly. But at the very least I feel happy now! I shall end this ugly rant post and go downstairs to poke my brother's kena sengat penyangat eyelid. Because I am the older sister! >:)

You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything.

2008-09-07T12:54:00.006+08:00

My feet are cold, but the coldness is harsher when they meet the tiles. My whole body is cold, but the scorching heat is unbearable to others. I am not sick however. Everything I touch and feel are cold to my senses. It could be of fasting without sahur, it could be of fasting without eating yesterday's sungkai and today's sahur. But I'm not fasting because I can't, still.

- - -

The room is empty like you are.

You came in looking for an answer to a question, but you realise now that it was never a question. It was merely a statement you have always wanted to confess.

You don’t need an answer, you need him.

Alone, sitting against a wall, you think that if you had swallowed your pride, as bitter as it was, got down on your knees and begged him not to go, maybe, just maybe --

You drum fingers against the wall before turning to face it.

You cup your hands around your mouth and whisper to it (not a secret, a declaration), I still love you, you confess. The words you should have said. You get onto your knees, and raise your voice. I still love you, you say, and it’s not a question.

You press your lips against the wall (not a kiss goodbye, never that), and his face flickers into view behind your eyelids then dulls like a dying flame.

The wall tastes like loss, abandonment and the slow gradual rusting of a heart.

Well.. that was decent for something written in less than half an hour. It felt different too, since it's the first to be inspired from real life experience. Uhuh I lack life.

I'll be going now because my tolerance towards dizziness might take its toll, and I might edit this post when ... I'm not feeling dizzy and weak, or I want to.

I is strong. I can take it - be it heartcrushing and whatnot. I can live through this smoothly.

I miss London - that place where no one knows who you are and where you can be whoever you want to be.

le pretty chandelier, ground floor of the old people's apartment we stayed in

second floor, near the stairs of Dickens' house.

those were 7-8 days of our breakfast and supper, and we lived through it without a grumbling stomach. :D I looove the instant noodle cup - the BIG blue/green one!

just outside our window. In the early morn', and the snow prettily(vocab of mah wurld, let me show you it) flew.

Don't y'all love lomo? I'm loving the lomography~

It wasn't my fault there's gravity - I voted for velcro

2008-09-06T14:26:00.004+08:00

Life does not require us to be consistent, cruel, patient, helpful, angry, rational, thoughtless, loving, rash, open-minded, neurotic, careful, rigid, tolerant, wasteful, rich, downtrodden, gentle, sick, considerate, funny, stupid, healthy, greedy, beautiful, lazy, responsive, foolish, sharing, presured, intimate, hedonistic, industrious, manipulative, insightful, capricious, wise, selfish, kind or sacrificed. Life does, however, require us to live with the consequences of our choices.

A major rule you forgot, Roles. Every game we play, we slip into a role, a game identity with which to play. We decide we're rescuer, victim, leader-with-all-the-answers, follower-without-a-clue, bright, brave, honorable, crafty, dull, helpless, just-trying-to-get-along, diabolical, easygoing, pitiable, earnest, careless, salt-of-the-earth, puppetmaster, comic, hero... we choose our role by whim and destiny, and we can change it anytime we want.

We wait all these years to find someone who understands us, I thought, someone who accepts us as we are, someone with a wizard's power to melt stone to sunlight, who can bring us happiness in spite of trials, who can face our dragons in the night, who can transform us into the soul we choose to be. Just this afternoon I found that magical Someone is the face we see in the mirror. It's us and our homemade masks.

It is by not always thinking of yourself, if you can manage it, that you might somehow be happy. Until you make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and lost...

Apparently I can't make it to Wardah's, because my mom said no. Meh. And I just received a text saying that there'll be nasi goreng cornbeef! Instead we celebrated my brother's belated birthday! With thick chocolate cake(which Aqil had chose to buy)! AND SOTO! But I ... didn't.. eat anything.

Haiyaa, my mom never told about celebrating his birthday. Selalunya bagitau nya aku dulu. Apaniiii geng :( haha who the heck calls their mom "geng"

Hey, what does this reset butto

2008-08-29T17:43:00.004+08:00

Things really aren't looking up for me. The A/C in my room is busted. I've had too much snacks and chocolates today. My cravings in ungodly hours is just ... odd. That time of the month is coming soon maybe, but I don't want that. Because inda tia siuk masa start puasa!

Usually awal puasa I can't wait to puasa! And ... kalau inda dapat inda tia siuk! Iiiisshhh. Mood swings mood swings kenapa kamu mesti hadir pada masa ini. See Fakhri I so can still talk Bahasa Melayu.

Yiish. Internet lagi crap. If only it's a person I would strangle the living daylights out of him/her, sebab kan downloading lagu dari tadi inda tah pandai menjadi. And annoyingly enough I've been trying to download the same one song since yesterday, tapi since internet has a blood grudge on me yatah it keeps on cutting off the download. Heesh membari sasak. And eating chocolates aren't helping to calm my nerves down.

on another note, you know what if i even accepted their offer it would be hella cool releasing stress that way. it's been far too long my fists haven't tasted pain. dementeeed woooo.

hesh, bida yaw this post. It's so... unorganised and un-neat and so.. ~~typical orang brunei~~. how many times or how many chances are you willing to take just to prove yourself wrong. membari sakit ati kali aaa. eeee poklenzzz.

@edited.

haaaaaaaaaah i almost forgot I have my last paper tomorrow! Bisaiiii bisai. Awal lagi tu yaw.

F U CN RD THS U CNT SPL WRTH A DM!

2008-08-24T18:21:00.004+08:00

God must love stupid people, he made so many. You and I included.

Guilt has his way of furtively pulling the string under Senses to the dark abyss allowing the vicinity clear for the rashness of Incitement. Let's burn the only bridge tonight.

Oh dear Incitement, take it away, do what you gotta do to get Guilt off my back, my chest. Stop hovering your towering shadows over me.

Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.

As if wanting is enough to make it happen, Wicked Little High. As if it is. If only it is but wishing ... as you've said before is just as slippery as morning shower's soap. Thin white shirt sticking to your back like a second skin, your sweat glistened skin - when you don't know it's not wrong to be dubbed the biggest idiot ever.

weeeek [taken from someone's LJ but will change once I remember]
monday; it’s vital not to stumble on the first day
tuesday; you are frustrated that you couldn’t understand what they are trying to say
wednesday; you pretend that the world isn’t going crazy; that you have your life under control
thursday; the song is left unfinished
friday; he smiles at you and you couldn’t help but think, he’s a rapist
saturday; coincidental meetings are bittersweet
sunday; and this is the day when you realize that your neighbour is the guy you have been waiting for the whole week

Credibility and faith I want to like it's almost a need. It's a Sunday and you're not here, that was a bad joke. So be it. I looked out the window one day seeing the world I had lived in from the day I was born and when I looked back at you

your mother used to say; you have the whole world in your little hands
she had said that so that you would stop pestering her
your mother used to say; don’t run too far or you might get hurt
speed and injuries always go well together
your mother used to say; get well soon so that the birds would stop crying
you did get well but still you didn’t really believe that birds could cry

and your mother used to say.. Finally she had said to me; A sorry couldn't take the pain away, but it shows your remorse.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die.

2008-08-20T18:02:00.004+08:00

Today pretty much is unproductive, but that was just the morning half. In the afternoon things were overwhelming(for me) and all securities fell, also I feel guilty for venting out to Fakhri and Munir... oh, and Sufi.

So in a nutshell.

Nuar is inevitably gay, as he clearly stated that when he kissed Syubu he said it felt like a girl's and I quote, "ada 'feel'".
Oh, Fuad kissed Nuar for exactly two seconds because I told them to.
Unfortunately no pictures or any physical proof that they did.
Quote of that day : "I'll kill you, pxick!"
Maths P4 blows.

Tomorrow's EAS paper 1. ...it is commentary right?

Your persistence is intriguing to a point that it starts to tick me off. Still you wish and kept on wishing unto that bright white star. Wishes are made just because humans are trying to hold on to something slippery.

Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, depends upon what you're made of.

2008-08-15T18:59:00.004+08:00

I like watching videos. I like watching videos with superb audio. Sometimes some videos I do not like. Some videos make me cringe in fear and shock, thus I scream in my head till it explodes like a watermelon - ABOUT TO EXPLODE! Haha, that was an inside joke.

Emotional trauma! Fun for everyone!

In other news.

Life is pain, srsly. They say that the Half Blood Prince movie release has been pushed back to next summer(i.e., 21st July 09). OH GOD MY HEART. MYHEART!

Current mood : crying into my hands

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

2008-08-05T20:55:00.005+08:00

Oooh, tomorrow thirteen(english failz conscious right now because it took me five tries to correctly spell '13', so sp?) of us are visiting RBAF, out of 43. MY SPIDEY RACKET SENSE IS TINGLING.

Remember my nephew who came over to my house? Howdydoo, his parents decided to drop by and see around. THAT -- THAT ADORABLE KID DID IT AGAIN!

"Kaka Nabilah, why is that boy kissing that other boy? Kaka likes it kah?"

OWH POOR POOR INNOCENT BOY. Kaka tak minat kat benda camtu, I lied. I would've held onto the kid and furiously rubbed my cheeks against his in response of repressed paedo love if it wasn't for his sister in the same room. Haha I kid about the pedo matter.

Made me wonder though, if I actually like those things. I need to repent.

NOT GAY

NOT GAY.

NOT GAY enough.

n-not gay.

NOT SCANDALOUS GAYS.

N-Not g-g-gay.

. . . .

NOT CHICKEN.

I lol'd like a chicken.

Then my mouth caught a fly after two minutes and thirty six seconds of PURE AWESOME.

Eventually you will know

2008-08-03T15:32:00.002+08:00

I bet - but don't take my word for it - I bet today's chaotic for most AEs. Woohoo, last minute checkups, last minute corrections, last minute decisions, last minute write ups, last minute changes.

Man, some people are lucky to be un-procrastinators unlike generally most people who tend to procrastinate and postpone the time and leave it a day before deadline. Yay future generations!

A;SKDHSGASD ML;ASDJGS better be going now and resume the last minute course search. Bloody hell.

Usurped everything

2008-08-01T21:24:00.010+08:00

Sweet mother of Avatar. I am disgusted and speechless by how inhumane people can get. I mean I'm pretty cool with exotic food like maggot ridden cheese or half-formed-duck eggs.

But THIS is crossing the line, bud.

Hm, on a sidenote, someone still owes me chocolatessss; not that I have a sweet tooth but the idea of being given free food is... well, you know, free food and this currently very famished girl - do the math.

And thinking about IOU-food, I owe someone nasi katok. Hahaha never really got the chance to pay back because time had flown too fast and fate had been too cruel. If you know darn well who I'm talking about, keep it to yourself.

Oh and one more tiny little thing you should know before I go; I miss you.

Long hair is out the wardrobe now, and short hair is in. (not saying I wear wigs, or a tuft of harse tail glued to my scalp) Anyway Ima thinking of cutting my hair again. I'm left with three styles, but I love all three.

@edited

oh my god oh my god whatever this show is killed me! I do not believe Zati's words when she said it's not real ghei. "Just friendship which borderlines to stalking", she says. It's too gay to be called straight. The touching, the pining longing stares, THE TOUCHING, the body-fitting unbuttoned shirt down to the chest, the soft caresses, the conspicuous stares in the middle of classes and the touching. Complete with the song.

I think I'm going to rewatch it the video from the beginning, just so I can experience it all again. And from 00:45 to 00:50 still makes me ponder what happened in between.

Matching Umbrellas Is Zomgwtf

2008-07-28T16:40:00.007+08:00

I appreciate it that you still cooperate in the end but I would appreciate it better if you fuggin' put, at least, a tug on that crooked lips of yours. You treat your clients like shit, and throwing all the blames on us. You little witch! Just because you're quite an expert and you say you're "packed and busy" does not give you the fucking right to be bossy and bitchy on us. You work with a fucking smile on your fugly face, bitch.

Oh, and thanks for the tightening em up.

Mezz just shared another interesting story with me, and I promise you I will ROLL ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY ASS OFF when I see him, and I will not give a damn of staring passers-by. MWAHAHHA.

Zati went a tad screw loose and I like it. "Why's it so hot? Oh because you so hot bebeh" Then I touch your hand and seduce you with wiggling my eyebrows. And oh how you caved to my seduction, touching my hand in response. I turned and laughed because I am so awesome in seducing my own "son". Oh son, let not this forbidden love become a barrier between us. =3= HAHAHAHAH dude, I like you. A lot.

I never regretted having you in front of me, controlling your limbs and arms like my own robot toy. Ahh that was when we were in Primary 4 Blue. You sexy thang, you seduced me with your boo-tee-pool drawings. Since then on I bullied you and we became closer.

Four years later, you've shown the light. Shown me true happiness. You introduced me to shonenai. Oh oh oh how my heart beats for you so fast. HAHAHH dude you made me read a 18+ rated SasuNaru fic, I love you. I even had the name of the fic written in my secret book of sekreett, aka the HSBC diary 2006 book. hahaha ahh memories.

Ehh uh.. sidetracked.

Man this is one ugly post. Nada lagi pictures to "prettify" it.

And I just realised during the ten or so years of our friendship and our secret incestuous relationship between father and son, we never really took pictures together. ada pulang satu tapi... kami dua2 bida hahaha. I lap you, ho. You were the only person who knew me, the person who can actually cheer me up without me asking for it, the one I actually trust, my true gay gushing bud, my mentor.

You complete me. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA MATEY LESBIAN BANAR EH.

There's no special occasion. It's not even your birthday. Bukan jua anniversary tani but I just felt like wanting to show everyone how much you mean to me, ho. Never once did I think someone like you would forever be in me my life.

Hm.. I have a feeling that you will do something unexpected but I expect jua.

Prediction A - you respond in a gay way too, making kissy faces to me so that I could smack your face with my clammy palms.

Prediction B - you smack me "virtually" via msn. And back in school, you'd stare at me with the ludicrous face ever and make "granny" curious of what I did. Then shrug it off and talk about gays more and songs and Big Bang anf Tae Young and how it's evident there's something going between Harvey Dent and Batman, Batman and Joker. The stares from Harvey to Batman, and Bruce to Harvey. Hmmm... SIDETRACKED AGAIN.

ani masa di London in our apartment room. Despite that time was summer masih ada jua snow. Apanah kami buat? Menyakai lah - apalagi urang di kiri ah(not me). I think she took around twentysomething pictures of the snow hitting her face and her camera. She doesnt care! Pasal ia sakai.

Technorati Profile

this awesome is for your own good

2008-07-21T19:53:00.003+08:00

;ladshf kjhgdshglkah hgdjsaghsl; fadflakj Oh my god you guys, why did no one tell me about Avatar? It's a deliciously epic explosion of PURE AWESOME. Just a video made squeal in glee and awe!

WATCH THE S3 TRAILER
Or a bad-ass fanmade trailer

*happy sigh* I have a feeling I'll be throwing out cash for the series. MMMM new characters with fine fine jawline and sexy deep voice.

And srsly no one told me about Avatar, that's like .. that's like ... asl;dgh;dlasghomgavatar'ssocool. (Y)(Y)

Breathless fangirling : on.

Before finishing, WATCHMEN official trailer has blue nekkid men in it. Watch it. WATCH IT or I'll commit a crime!

running and running away

2008-07-18T16:23:00.002+08:00

Hi. This is Zhou Mi.

And just because Zhou Mi has the Joker's smile like Siwon.

Not mine. All snagged without permission from Laharwine. Good day!

embellishment

2008-07-17T19:27:00.001+08:00

A level exams are drawing in closer by the second, and I honestly do not have any idea what I really want. Every step you take is a risk, I heard someone say. And hell no I'm not fond of risks. The MOE schloarship talk is a big big BANG to my senses -- igniting my paranoia to tahap dewa -- but the whole talk was cool after the main rep snapped(more like ia tagur lah) due to the inconvenient noisy lot at the back.

So, during one of the rep's explanations about health is a hellz yeah bitch! thing in getting a scholarship I remembered suddenly about that one time last year we were to fill in a form concerning your health and all.

I still remember it. It went like this...

Any other specific medical conditions : YES / NO

If yes, please state :

But before I get to the funny bit let me tell you that I had NO idea what it actually meant plus, when I was a sickly girl last year and many years ago, every morning EVERY WAKING MORNING my nose would be clogged and running.

So apanah ku buat.

If yes, please state : Morning sickness

Fuuuh, padan tah my group tutor looked at me strange like I'm... I'm... a deer. I know, not funny but -- Oh dear god, how in the world did I manage to get in MD with crap english.

Oh and a happy birthday to my cousin, Marissa, whom I've never talked to, or seen in like... years.... Not that you or any of your family members know about my blog or know my name. Hahah hayy kesian eh.

P.S
Munir, you thief. You're stealing my pictures without my permission, and telling me about it. Buduuuu. And posting it somewhere! AAAARRGGHHH it was one of our rockclimbing activities so we were sweaty, we were oily and I looked like AN UGLY DORKY LOSER! Oh and you violated my personal space so stop looking through my pendrive. Therefore, I say, you suck, Munir.

if it were Time itself

2008-07-14T18:17:00.004+08:00

Initially intended to post about something else irrelevent but I DON'T THINK I HAVE MENTIONED ABOUT HOW MUCH LOVE M. NIGHT'S "THE HAPPENING" IS.

It's almost a replica of The Happening except NO ONE DIES or sticks a hair... stick or men flying off unfinished buildings. It is so so so so cool watch watch watch it or your life is meaningless.

"Over 200 people freeze in place. www.enwe.com. This is one of over 70
different missions Improv Everywhere has executed over the past six years in New
York City."

If only I were in Grand Central that time --- ooo, I think I hear someone saying "Indo Mee". BWAHAHAHAHA DO WANT. BAIII, TILL NEXT POST YA.

@EDITED, like... 10 minutes after.

Oh hai, Ima back(without the Indo Mee unfortunately). I love Zati because she cheers me up at the most unexpected times. WITH STUPID VIDEOS.

When you thought Fakhri was mean with his stupid pranks, this beats any. (Y)(Y) GHOST RIDER PRANK.

This kid's cute. But thank you god, it's someone else's.

ask me about my vow of silence

2008-07-10T21:24:00.002+08:00

You know what, two days ago I had a long birthday post for Fakhri but as my laptop dies, the document was not saved or even traceable. May I hear a GODDAMN? So I couldn't give a care about re-writing it because it was written while I was half drowsy from sleep.

Therein this is a belated birthday post and I'm grumpy because I couldn't remember a thing of what was written, and this might sound insincere but what the heck.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY FAKHRI. Happy belated EIGHTEENTH birthday at that.

You can act like an insufferable bitch but we know you're a nice warm-hearted person actually. And that you actually have a heart to care of -- uh, eff it. Ha. Ha. Heyyyy hahaa;sghsdlkgsg

Oh, and another belated birthday greeting to Miss Joanna Kwan who was one of the cikgu yang menjaga(screw english right now because I am so pissed at myself for not thinking up of the right word of that malay thing khdfsgkg ugh and it's hot in here)

Another belated to Yoochun my woobie. And I'm like, what, more than a month late. Psscchh what a fan I turn out to be.

P.S
There were suppose to be pictures of Fakhri with his short-legged neon pink that threatens to burn your eyes any second under the sun, which was dubbed "Pinky" by Fakhri's mom... but I'm too kusut to up the pictures.

one moth still not forgotten

2008-06-27T22:40:00.001+08:00

27th June.

It marks the birth of an awesome friend, and his name is -- we call him Syubu or Syuaib (I have no idea what your full name is, mate).

One question : you're older than me, boy?

Another question : Was the question rhetorical? (...you are aren't you.)

This tall lanky boy whom I thought was Chinese when we first met is fair-skinned, affable, smart, fair-skinned, ticklish, naughty (when he was about 3... or 2... he climbed over a fence, wrecked a TV, but story is he was a naughty lil' tike. I rispek yu boi). and FAIR-SKINNED. Damn, I confess the feeling of pathetic-ism(english failz right?) and feebleness whenever he's around with his FAIR skin of FAIRITITITITY-ISH FAIRNESS. I want a face illuminating the moon's radiance and glowing like the summer's sun and smooth like a delicate autumn's leaf falling to the ground. Oh what I would give. WHAT I WOULD GIVE.

Ah.. sidetracked again.

Syubu is also supposedly my soul mate, why? Because once we both did a personality quiz which claims to be super accurate, he was curious to see who he's compatible with in Brunei and the quiz thinks we're most compatible.

I am of the same opinion with the quiz but only with regard to our similar frame of mind. We are very pessimistic and cynical, or at least I think we are.

BUT TO THE MORE IMPORTANT MATTER.

Haha Syubu my "soul mate" happy birthday, boy! And I will take this chance to apologise to you for the so many impish incidents I've done to you. I am hell aware that I am like a.. uh... rash? Yeh, a rash.

Once I'll see you again in school on Monday I'd jab you over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over -- *gets shot in the head* Duracell battery's motto is so annoying.

I don't want to ruin the merriment or the rejoice feeling but... how old are you? I know I'm a bad friend to not know about that. x[

All in all have a good time with your special day, mate. Push the boat out today.

hubba hubba

2008-06-07T08:49:00.003+08:00

Well allo thar. Haven't been entertaining you lots for a long time.

Currently I'm in the library with a dying laptop under my fingers, listening to the nonsensical buzzings from the girls so don't expect a proper vocab-with-good-grammar post. Boo you.

Some of y'all noticed the sudden change in me, but I really want to apologise to the majority of MD D.L-ers for making a "emotional dramatic scene" ~~once~~ ~~twice~~ thrice? Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhaha -- (*slits the throat of a doll*)

Neesa, I am not demented. Mims, I am finnnnne. Zimah, dude I said WASSAP and you didn't answer, APANI?! Zatty, I is sorry for hurting you haaaands. Fakhri, HAAAIII PAKKARIII. gringringringringrin

anis, listen to dishwalla's EVERY LITTLE THING.

I am ooooooookaaaaaaayyy. HALLO WORLED.

OH OH. posted a post in my Wordpress account. AND THERE'S A VIDEO. GASPP.

But theeeeeeeen it's password-locked. SO ask me for the password. But specific persons can know. BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. fine maybe i havent forgiven muself.

aslkhfflkjsdahflkadshflksahk bye.
laptop dyiing severely.

these pens and what I write with them

2008-05-28T17:17:00.003+08:00

Just when I thought there was a little speck of hope to be able to talk freely with anyone, it bulldozes and crumbles everything. Fook it.

in a nutshell

- my skin and my mirror had my post secrets, then erased.

- I had fillet o fish. Thank you Izni!

- It's mid year depression, so... everyone's depressed.

- I feel slightly guilty for not attending most classes for the past two weeks. My head was... well, uh. Speaking of my head, I'm still not thinking right. I haven't attended Maths class for two weeks in a row. EAS classes had been lifeless. In Elit everyone's distracted. In Socio class however has the totally same mundane vibe. So I like going to Socio.

- 30th will be a slightly less busybusybusy day. Thank god. All I need to do now is to get used to the new bathroom.

Ugh, I write like a little girl.

I know you're reading this Sufi, and that you know how distracted I am. But heeeyy, I'm SMILINNGGGGGGGGGGGG okay. I'm being happy. trying to. Gila bida eh this post.

Damn damn damn this is completely different from the SF era. HAHAHahaaaaa. SF. SF. sf. ess effff.

Paluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

KEYMASH KEYMASH A;LSDJFL;ADLHGDSKH.

I am going cookoo. Wai halo tharrr.

I'm a bitch, say hello to si Bitch here. :D :D And I am a bad person. D:

D:

:D

D':

not hyperventilating.

damn it damn it damn it. HAhahahha I'ma post a private post in my wordpress account.

Oh yeah, I never mentioned about might-be moving to Wordpress.com :D D:

No Zati I am not listening to emo songs. No Fatin, I am not cutting myself. I'm shaving myself.

No Juzai just because I had a lighter with me and it was mine doesn't make it seem like I smoke or hurt myself by burning my skin.
You, stop clinging onto me. I hate you. Don't make me slap you.
Dude Azim where you at? I need you

what sounds do iguanas make?

2008-05-25T20:41:00.006+08:00

So,

Quote of the day

SO YOU SAYING HE LIKES YOU AS A MAN AND NOT AS
A WOMAN??

CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T STRAY MY EYES OFF THESE JAPANESE GAME SHOWS. Hence an annotated form of rambles.

- Need a good laugh? FAIL BLOG IS THE ANSWER. Where pure fail, drunken fail, nekkid fat geek fail and other failzz fail resides. Worst time to choke : amid sneezing. Worst combination to choke on : air, spit and phlegm. Aftermath : a dirty screen. You might need a damp cloth... and sanitizers.

- Bad hair day. Actually couldn't care less combing it. Therefore came to tuition with bed hair. No pun ~~hair~~ here intended.

- FIVE hours spent in cleaning and arranging heavy furnitures around the other house.

- One of the many construction workers next door is stalker!freaky. And sticks out like a pin on a pin cushion as he wore blinding neon orange.

- My hand has a mind of its own. It wants to K33L my handyy in a less-than-half filled glass of water. Even multiple swats and lectures to my own hand won't stop it. I think mom thinks her daughter had gone mental. :D :D

mentel buiii.

- Internet's been a bitch for not letting me watch as much videos as I want off Youtube. Won't even let me access LJ. Or, download anything. FOR THE PAST WEEK. I'd like to give internet a good digital bitchslap across her digital face.

In completely different and random note~~(without trying to sound as if I'm telling a dark secret. wtf)~~
No one knowsss.

And another thing... I need to make a decent post next time. But then how should a decent post look like?

DBSK has a new japanese single and I lovelovelove it. It made me sob like a baby, and Japanese isn't exactly a language I comprehend.

Oh 28th might be haircut day with Mims.

POST EDITED, because I have bad english when completely knackered. Sorry about that. D:

you've been missed. I have bad aim

2008-05-23T21:22:00.004+08:00

wtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtf jaeho_detox is nowhere in lj. WTFWTFWTFWTF I WANT MY DAILY JAEHO FICS. I'll die without them! OMFG.

I've upped a couple of vids from last year because I miss dorky!us. Also because I suddenly miss my camera(my second love to Soto).

Upon watching that, I will leave you for a moment so I could headdesk out of embarassment. EEEE I was such a dork!

Just in case the embed won't bloody work

The can-can dance! :D :D

It's not safe when embeds won't cooperate well with easily angered beings like me

Zee's a bimbo. Raise your hand if you agree.

embeds are crazy.

The last one is cute. :) the link in case the bloody embed won't work

I have loads more videos in my laptop that I wanted to up.

Oh god, I love TegoMass. They make me feel fuzzy inside. And no, not furball.

LOOKIE WHAT ZATTY SHOWED ME! OMG KIYUUUTTT ANAK AH! (when embeds are bitches, click)

what I need more of? Time

2008-05-19T20:16:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wish I could be that anti social tomboy I was, with a wardrobe of monochrome colours. But then I'll need to untangle myself from the dorks, gays and gals whom I love to be anti social. Haaah, hate me for wanting to be a emo anti social beeeetch.

I miss her. In a yknow fan towards idol kinda thing.

So I've just heard about this Spankwire video and I also heard that it's not for the prude and sensitive. Squeamish. Shit, I get goosebumps just by imagining it!

Goodluckies to whoever sitting for Socio AS tomorrow morning. Gila kali, morning lagi tu kan.

And I nearly forgot about one more thing. Twilight fans, don't kill me in my sleep for laughing and agreeing(even though I've never read it) to the review about to be mentioned. Come to think of it, I'd like to beat Edward Cullen, the sexy vamp, with a stick too.

Afterwards don't beat ME up with a stick either. :p

sun goes down

2008-05-18T22:50:00.005+08:00

What is worse: Going to your favorite restaurant, ordering your favorite steak only underneath the steak is a scabby band-aid. Or?
- Being electrocuted.

Do you like me?
- Probably.

What percent of all paper clips that you come in contact with do you unfold?
- I don't unfold paper clips. Because I am conservative and unadventurous, like an old lady coming in her eighties.

What are your five favorite movies? (Legally Blonde does not count)
- Kung Pow(most def), and four others that I couldn't be bothered to remember.

Have you ever left a pair of underwear in the forest?
- No, but there was one time amid drying a pair of undies outside the window of a moving car the soggy thing slipped through my brother's fingers by the strong current. And if I'm not mistaken, his wet underwear thudded on the front window of the car behind us. HAHAHA! His loss, their gain.

If zombies were real, would you be afraid of them?
- Yes. Because what if they lived (un-lived?) under water and every time you got on a boat they started to climb up the outside of the boat with their sucker hands? You would have nowhere to run! Right right?!

How many times have you lost your keys in an article of clothing you are wearing?
- Maybe never. Prolly because I don't carry keys with me?

Do you like almonds?
- Yes, yes yes, I do yes.

Is there something better than pie?
- Yes, two pies. Haha inda cali. Actually I don't like any kind of desserts other than ice cream! :D

Age?
- 17 years, 10 months. I am growing ooollld.

Sex?
- F

Location?
- Smartass answer: Relative to what?
Regular answer: Mata-Mata Gadong

In your opinion, is there always room for one more?
- There's always room for dessert. NEVER ever forget that!

What do you need more of?
- Time. That's just all I ask for now.

How do you feel when you are stuck in traffic and a motorcycle drives by between the lanes?
- Like I want to open my door and have the motorcycle crash into it. I did that one time. Wait, no I didn't. Oh right, because I don't drive yet. Legally, that is.

Do you want a Cadillac Escalade?
- Yes, I would like a Cadillac Escalade. So I could burn a Cadillac Escalade. (inda Neesa, I am not demented. Just bottled up rage, mhmm. NOT demented.)

What are your feelings regarding 25cent hot dog night?
- I don't eat hotdogs.......

How often do you take public transportation?
- ...(*snorts*) uhm, what? I do not comprehend this question.

When you were 16 did you find Monty Python hilarious?
- I don't like him.

Do you find them hilarious now?
- I still don't like him. What do you want from me!

Which is scarier: 1) As you are being put under anesthesia for a big, hairy operation, you find out that Mo, Larry, and Curly are assisting -or- 2) You are locked in a room and are forced to watch an endless loop of the same episode of Gilligan's Island?
- Neither, it's a shark riding on the back of an elephant, just trampling and eating everything they see. Wait, what was the question?

What is the biggest risk you are facing at this very moment?
- In the grand scheme of things, each of us are, at best, marginally significant, so to say that anything, even something that would result in my untimely death should I choose to do it, is a risk is disingenuous at best. A single 'yes' or 'no' is even a big risk.

Can you ever have too much money?
- Yes. Even a thousand dollars worth of cents would be to heavy to carry, thus limiting it's practicality.

Black and Blue or Black and Tan?
- Uh, what?

Have you ever kissed a boy on the lips?
- Yes. Actually the boy kissed me. Haha my lil' baby bro kissed his sister away from "his" TV.

Have you ever kissed a girl on the lips?
- Ye-- wait, no.

If they made the movie of your life, what would the title of the movie be?
- Jurassic Park of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Nabilah and GDL's High School Reunion We'll See When We Get There.

How many camels fit on the head of a pin?
- Given that a standard map pin has a top surface area of 75 mm^2, I would have to say about 1 million veeeery tiny camels.

Who do you like better ... Ben or Jerry?Dr. Benjamin Spock or Jerry Falwell?
- Uh, neither, dude.

How many chapters will your book have?
- ...23?

What is your favorite color?
- greeeeeeeeeeen, greenish blue, greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen, black. GREEEEEEEEEEEEEN.

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
- (*puts hand to throat, swallows*) About .2 km/h. Check back at lunch and I will estimate the velocity of a laden swallow.

How long do you have to drive continually before you start going insane?
- Uh, I don't drive legally yet, so I wouldn't know, yet.

Boxers or Briefs?
- Boxers.

What is the most important meal of the day?
- The next one

Are you a Toys (backwards)R Us Kid?
- Not really. I grew up.

snow skiing: a great sport, or the greatest sport?
- It looks cool, and fun. So I say it's just a great sport.

can you lick your elbow?
- No

did you just try to lick your elbow or did you already know that it is physically impossible to do that?
- In an act representing the futile human drive for advancement in the face of the crushing fact of our insignificance... both.

Will you be in my punk band?
- Sure

Even if my punk band is named POLE-DANCING HEMATOMA?
- I guess, but I think it would be bigger hit with a different name. Maybe POLE-DANCING DIFFUSE AXONAL INJURY.

Is Crisco OK?
- As far as I know. What is Crisco?

How many times per minute must you remind yourself, "I am not my job"?
- I don't know, because I don't have a job yet?

Is M. Night Shmalayan lame?
- Yeah, kinda he is.

Were you hugged enough?
- No. Nobody hugs me in school or outside.

Are you hugged enough?
- Am not fond of hugs.

ARE YOU EVER GOING TO BE HUGGED ENOUGH?
- Maybe I should go home and just hug my family about a million billion times and then I could call it even for the rest of my life.

Why don't you own a gas mask?
- Seriously. I do, actually. Okay, I lie, but that'll be cool :D

Eminem or not?
- Not.

If you're a white person, and you don't listen to much hip-hop, and yet you like the Beastie Boys, what the hell is wrong with you? Don't you realize that the Beastie Boys ARE ELVIS?
- Not white. Don't even like hip-hop, and Beastie Boys. Oh and Elvis? Psschhhh.

How many minutes "ahead" or "behind" is your watch set for?
- The clock in my phone is set 8 minutes ahead. Clock on the bedroom wall is set one minute ahead. Clock in the hall is like, 10 minutes behind. Astro clock is the only thing near to accurate.

Where have you been?
- Miri, Kuching, London(Heathrow), Stanford?, KL, Singapore, Oz... I think that's all.

Name?
- Shjurlguty (pronounced Nabilah)

How sad would you be if you ran over a cat?
- My cousin once did. My dad multiples of time he reversed the car without knowing there was a cat behind. As morbid as it sounds, I like watching them die slowly.

If you were a parasite, would you rather spend your gestational stage in the innards of a cow or the innards of a caterpillar?
- Definitely a cow. Four stomachs = four times the fun!

Totally rad, totally rockin, or totally sick?
- Totally rad. I have never said "totally sick" unless I was totally sick.

If the only kinds of candy left on the planet were m and ms (original), reeses pieces, and skittles, which variety would be most likely to survive the ensuing struggle for survival?
- I am just going to buy some of each and I will tell you later.

You must be world champion at something. What is it?
- Bad aiming.

What is the first pop, rock, or rap song you choreographed dance moves to? What was your signature move?
- I have never choreographed dance moves, unfortunately.

House, or Gray's Anatomy?
- HOUSE M.D., MAAAAAAAAAN. Who can say NO to House??!!

Antz, or A Bug's Life?
- A Bug's Life is, objectively, 154 times better than Antz. The "z" at the end of Antz accounts for A Bug's Life being 100 times better.

Paris Hilton, or Nicole Richie?
- I don't remember what that second one looks like, so I don't know.

Toward, or towards?
- Towards. And I pronounce it as tords. How do you say it?

Loving and losing, or never loving at all?
- Loving and not losing

Coffee, or tea?
- Ew, coffee?

Or me?
- Huh?

Why the hell do people ever waste money on weddings?
- Oh there's a whole long history on that that I don't want to go into right now.

dishwalla dishwallawalla

2008-05-18T20:45:00.005+08:00

This post is a bit sekadar but whatever, my blog not yours. (*clicks tongue*)

Tomorrow, all the best of luck to those who take Physics AS and ELit AS. I pray you the best.
Haha I know some of you are cramming everything in a space of less than 24 hours.

Tuck in early. Wake up early. Resist from peeking at your notes. Forget the problems of now and yesterday, focus on your paper.

Not that I do any of those but that's what Mr Singh said to us.

Speaking of that funny hair-less devil, I might come to his Monday tuition class tomorrow afternoon. Nngghhh, balik aher ni. Around 5 perhaps. Because he still thinks I take Maths June AS.

UP THE HOSE, BIG NOSE.

shadow of stars long gone

2008-05-18T19:52:00.009+08:00

I was fairly unproductive today, other than the three sessions of emotional relief-ness Zati and I took some personality tests off learnmyself.com. The tests and the results given are pretty accurate shit, it scares me a bit.

So, the Personality test, here's what I got.

My Personality


Neuroticism	86
Extraversion	3
Openness to Experience	17
Agreeableness	24
Conscientiousness	1

You often resist any cravings or urges that you have, but sometimes you give in, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. You tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. You often need privacy and time for yourself. You are not interested in the arts and do not display aesthetic sensitivity. You do not like to claim that you are better than other people, and generally shy from talking yourself up, however you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. You are guarded in new relationships and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about yourself. In general you tend to be disorganized and scattered.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report.

Survey Software

Took the other three tests later on, and got these.

My Attitudes Toward Self


High Standards	8
Self-Criticism	83
Generalization	81

You have high self-criticism attitudes. You have high generalization attitudes.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Attitudes Toward Self Report.

Survey Software

My Motivational Behavior


Behavioral Approach	72
Behavioral Inhibition	86

You have medium drive motives, however you have high fun seeking motives.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Motivational Behavior Report.

Survey Software

My Stress Management


Functional Management	45
Emotional Management	59
Disengagement	38
Internalization	42

You have low planning skills, however you have high suppression of competing activities skills. You have low use of emotional social support skills. You have low substance use skills. You have medium humor skills.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Stress Management Report.

Survey Software

So what do we get from those above?

I fail in life, not in a good humorous way where you macro a Korean celeb's thick brows. And generally hopeless. Naaadeh, I'm not gonna crawl under my bed, crying with the dustbunnies and hoping my life will end under my bed.

Oh wait.

I don't have the bedpost thing. Most of the heavy furnitures are either moved to our new house in Rimba or taken away by relatives who wants ancient furniture.

I refuse to cry, and give up
because I haven't given my all.

hahah "braceface couple"

2008-05-15T20:48:00.002+08:00

There's been a rumor going around.

It's illogical to say the least.

One, they say it's a mass radiation of some sort.

Two is that there's some fooked up black magic practitioner.........

And that they say to switch off your handy until uh, 11? I'm bored so there's a boring post.

OH, and I finally had the braces on. It didn't hurt a bit the first few hours, but the pain finally sets in. Victims : Nuar, the empty of coffee, Mezz... Syubu?

Mhmm, ignore the bad writing. Can't stand the pain now hence ugly post. But the rumor, not sure. Don't take my word ferreal. I feel like bludgeoning my head on a wall.

Bye.

almost here

2008-05-11T21:19:00.005+08:00

my feet love eachother :D

I haven't gotten used to my left jaw apparently, and a specific part of the gum stings like a bitch by the slightest twitch. Curse you poor excuse for a dentist! You did a bad job on the extraction - all the boo's and hisses on you! The tip of the playar poked through my gum and I swear if it wasn't for the adrenaline I would've shoved you off my face, snapped the playar off yer hands then jump on top of the cabinets, screaming bloody roadkill to anyone coming close to my blood-filled mouth and two teeth hanging loosely from the gum - - eee, disgusting image there. I'll stop.

Point is, if the doctor didn't put a tad too much pressure on my now-stinging gum and that he put the playar at a better angle, I can at least eat my porridge 10 minutes faster.

Oh, and I feel old eating porridge in every meal. D: D: And can you believe how idiotic of me to choke on porridge?! I mean, c'mon, who chokes on porridge?!

So now there's the 15th to look up to. NOT. Recently I've been missing a lot of classes. Due to :

1) Chickenpox. First time buiii.
2) Morning dentist appointments which I was so ignorant to negotiate with the doctor.

I'm really dissapointed that I couldn't keep up with my 100% present streak anymore.

Right now as I'm typing, Munir's talking about cameras with me. UGGHH, I hate you you insensitive beeetch. Haha nadawa. But c'mon give me some slack here. I still have that post-theft trauma, and by all honesty I'm dying to kill you. MUNIR SHUT UP WITH THE CAMERA TALK, PLEASE. You might not know how it feels to lose something oh-so mighty precious to you in a blink of an eye.

Dammit, dammit, dammit. Curse you, THIEF. Curse you indeeeeeed.

Ghad Syubu's intense stare is *___________* ADMIRABLE.

The picture above is Mezz, my "brother", and he at that time was feeling horny hence the horn shaped hair. I'd put some pink fluffy stuff from the floor to his hair because I'm his sister and big sisters are bullies.

If you're wondering, he didn't realise he had the feathery pink stuff on his head until minutes after thinking he looks so rad, so cool and hip lookin' like a devil in a man's skin. Love ya, bro.